Cold Ale - The Blokes' Thread!

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11-19-2009, 05:54 PM
The Atheist

Quote:

Originally Posted by jocky

Guys, a hypothetical question. If you caught your missus having an affair, would you:

D. Pour yourself a large scotch, light a cigar and invite your long standing mistress over for the weekend ? :)

Scotch and cigar, definitely. Not so sure about inviting the mistress over, she charges extra for outcalls.

;)

I've always been of the opinion that anyone breaking fidelity rules shouldn't be in the relationship anyway, so it's no big deal.

Quote:

Originally Posted by soundofmusic

:eek: There should be an option for shoot the boyfriend, wife and take the mistress and the scotch to hawaii:banana::banana:

Even better, shooting all three and starting a new life in Hawaii with a team of hand-picked Polynesian women!

Quote:

Originally Posted by prendrelemick

Like the scotch idea, but not sure about letting the mistress come round. Give 'em an inch and they start measuring up for new curtains.

Exactly!

Quote:

Originally Posted by soundofmusic

Okay, guys, I'm off to discuss turkey preparing...It is sad how little "space" you poor blokes get. The girls have the bathroom, living room and kitchen. You guys are pushed to the garage and outdoor grill:bawling:

We feel your pain!

:D

I do turkey preparation as well. I buy it at the shop and leave it in ther fridge. Amazingly, it always turnd up cooked - I must be helluva good.

Quote:

Originally Posted by gbrekken

several assumptions must be called into question. If it's your long standing/lying mistress you catch in the sack with your wife, wouldn't you pour three drinks, and give them the opportunity to struggle over the use of the only gun worth anything in that scene?

:lol:

Every man's dream.

Or was that the wife's sister......?

Quote:

Originally Posted by gbrekken

blokes get whatever space they need-not sure about the wants being met, but at least their caves are free of squeeling turkeys.

Those turkey feathers are hell to get out of your bedding roll as well.
11-19-2009, 09:01 PM
jocky

Geez, that was some reaction to a hypothetical question. I thought someone would come up with an antithesis to the hypothesis which would have led to some sort of synthesis. Oh well, you cant win them all. Now to get really controversial, Mick you know we have got a British Empire, aint you just glad us Scots won it for you? Atheist you have defenitely mellowed since Atheist junior arrived. To my American buddies, big deal you won your independence, but we had the sense to burn down 1600 Pensylvania Avenue before we left. I saw the future and it was bleak. :)
11-20-2009, 03:29 AM
prendrelemick

err.. yes thanks for the Empire Jocky. And let me reassure you Scottish Johnnies that you are equal partners in this Great Britain of ours.:yawnb:
11-20-2009, 11:57 AM
gbrekken

the white house is just that because it covered well the burning marks! it's true!

thesis, antithesis, then synthesis-isn't that how it goes/went? no partner equal not finding my mate in a relationship. oh how i moan and weep for the pain you all feel as you make her weep. :)

being originally from a state #1 in turkey production, i wish everyone were thankful for whatever good they have in life, or whatever good they believe exists or may exist. personally, i'm going to buy a fat ham! cook it? maybe. eat it? no boubt adout it.

should i stand behind my nation's female curlers? i'd rather watch 'em figure skating. banana dancing
11-20-2009, 12:25 PM
soundofmusic

Quote:

Originally Posted by gbrekken

several assumptions must be called into question. If it's your long standing/lying mistress you catch in the sack with your wife, wouldn't you pour three drinks, and give them the opportunity to struggle over the use of the only gun worth anything in that scene?

blokes get whatever space they need-not sure about the wants being met, but at least their caves are free of squeeling turkeys.

:cool: Leave it to you gbrekken, to put the wife and the mistress in the sack together...
I see your point; but I think I'd make the cave a panic room to keep the turkeys out, put carpet up the walls, a 60 color tv, pool table and full bar to make it cozy!

Quote:

Originally Posted by prendrelemick

Just leave us the shed and we're happy:thumbs_up.

Don't you like my idea, above, better. Besides, sheds always have the painful reminders that the lawn needs mowing and the house needs painting.

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Atheist

I've always been of the opinion that anyone breaking fidelity rules shouldn't be in the relationship anyway, so it's no big deal

Even better, shooting all three and starting a new life in Hawaii with a team of hand-picked Polynesian women!

We feel your pain!

I do turkey preparation as well. I buy it at the shop and leave it in ther fridge. Amazingly, it always turnd up cooked - I must be helluva good.
.

You're such a jewel, Atheist, do you have a clone?
Didn't you just shoot the husband? No matter, ransack the house, grab the credit cards and go get those Polynesian women (just don't take any home)
Do you think you could purchase a second turkey; I'll come over on Thanksgiving morning for the bird and fixin's:lol:

Quote:

Originally Posted by jocky

To my American buddies, big deal you won your independence, but we had the sense to burn down 1600 Pensylvania Avenue before we left. I saw the future and it was bleak. :)

Yes, leave it to your guys to to sit down and eat a full meal at the house you were planning to burn down: the wine might have been poisoned or the house may have been burned down around your heads...that is, if dolly hadn't been so busy taking everything of value out while the blokes where feeding.
Anyway, we've learned from our mistakes; that's why we were trying to get a gun-toting woman in this time. Now we have a decoy in the white house ...you don't really believe that Americans have changed chess pieces after all these years of WASP....:lol: (for all of my fellow Americans...I'm just joking...yes, I know, it's very bad taste)
11-20-2009, 01:58 PM
gbrekken

it's very obvious that a snooker table must soon be found. it has a smaller more well defined kitchen, one of the places a woman does great work. i could only hope to limit the woman's place/space if we were each other's and had agreements. snooker is a billiard-type game for those poor ignorant folks who didn't know.

the most northern of the 48 was/is? #1 in turkeys. minisoda.
11-20-2009, 05:06 PM
The Atheist

Quote:

Originally Posted by gbrekken

being originally from a state #1 in turkey production, i wish everyone were thankful for whatever good they have in life, or whatever good they believe exists or may exist. personally, i'm going to buy a fat ham! cook it? maybe. eat it? no boubt adout it.

My Maine Man!

Quote:

Originally Posted by soundofmusic

You're such a jewel, Atheist, do you have a clone?
Didn't you just shoot the husband? No matter, ransack the house, grab the credit cards and go get those Polynesian women (just don't take any home)
Do you think you could purchase a second turkey; I'll come over on Thanksgiving morning for the bird and fixin's:lol:

Hell, you could even have pancakes for breakfast!

Quote:

Originally Posted by soundofmusic

...you don't really believe that Americans have changed chess pieces after all these years of WASP....:lol: (for all of my fellow Americans...I'm just joking...yes, I know, it's very bad taste)

:lol:

Bad taste jokes are always the best!
11-21-2009, 01:13 PM
soundofmusic

Quote:

Originally Posted by gbrekken

the white house is just that because it covered well the burning marks! it's true!

thesis, antithesis, then synthesis-isn't that how it goes/went? no partner equal not finding my mate in a relationship. oh how i moan and weep for the pain you all feel as you make her weep. :)
being originally from a state #1 in turkey production, i wish everyone were thankful for whatever good they have in life, or whatever good they believe exists or may exist.
should i stand behind my nation's female curlers? i'd rather watch 'em figure skating. banana dancing

I'd be alot more thankful if we were getting nice domesticated turkeys instead of those South American Fighting Turkeys that are all musky...
Have you noticed, Gerald, that the honeydews are tasting like cabbages, the beef is aged too long and the tomatos...blah

You know, of course, that most of the time your analogies are flying right above my head:blush:

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Atheist

Hell, you could even have pancakes for breakfast

Bad taste jokes are always the best!

Great, I love pancakes with comstock cherry pie filling and whipped cream:p
Glad you appreciate my humor; I think I'm scheduled to be tarred, feathered, drawn and quartered outside the white house on Thanksgiving day; so I'm staying away from DC.
11-21-2009, 04:08 PM
The Atheist

Don't expect to see jocky able to find his keyboard, let alone type, for the next few days.

Australia 8

Scotland 9

:banana::banana:
11-21-2009, 05:35 PM
jocky

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Atheist

Don't expect to see jocky able to find his keyboard, let alone type, for the next few days.

Australia 8

Scotland 9

:banana::banana:

Just before I take the top off my cherished bottle of Balvenie Thirty single malt, I would just like to comment, I thought my mushroom wheeze was good but managing to steal Matt Giteau's contact lenses an hour before the match was a stroke of genius. Today Australia, tomorrow zee vorld. :)
11-21-2009, 08:57 PM
Michael T

Quote:

Originally Posted by jocky

Just before I take the top off my cherished bottle of Balvenie Thirty single malt, I would just like to comment, I thought my mushroom wheeze was good but managing to steal Matt Giteau's contact lenses an hour before the match was a stroke of genius. Today Australia, tomorrow zee vorld. :)

:lol:... I thought of you when I heard the score Jocky. Excellent result!
11-21-2009, 10:55 PM
jocky

Quote:

Originally Posted by Michael T

:lol:... I thought of you when I heard the score Jocky. Excellent result!

Why, Michael that was very gracious and has put me in a generous frame of mind, that and my sixth glass of scotch. I would like to repay the good will in a reciprocal fashion to you and all my sassenach pals, unfortunately Atheist's mob whipped your asses. I am now going to burst into spontaneous song: There will be All Blacks over the White cliffs of Dover..... To all who I have offended, forgive me, it was not Jocky it was the booze. :lol:
11-22-2009, 04:54 AM
prendrelemick

The English Yawnion boys got what they deserved, and so did the Scots. "They'll be dancin in the streets of....well, everywhere tonight."

Meanwhile in South Africa, at least we won the toss.
11-22-2009, 04:06 PM
The Atheist

Quote:

Originally Posted by jocky

Just before I take the top off my cherished bottle of Balvenie Thirty single malt, I would just like to comment, I thought my mushroom wheeze was good but managing to steal Matt Giteau's contact lenses an hour before the match was a stroke of genius. Today Australia, tomorrow zee vorld. :)

:thumbs_up

The bad news is, we play you shortly.

Quote:

Originally Posted by prendrelemick

The English Yawnion boys got what they deserved, and so did the Scots. "They'll be dancin in the streets of....well, everywhere tonight."

Meanwhile in South Africa, at least we won the toss.

That's a good effort - most Saffers I know are expert tossers.
11-22-2009, 05:21 PM
jocky

Quote:

Originally Posted by prendrelemick

Meanwhile in South Africa, at least we won the toss.

Well done to your cricket team, you are on a roll Mick, Collingwood was outstanding.