Cold Ale - The Blokes' Thread!

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03-02-2011, 02:36 PM
jocky

Hey guys, does anyone know the result of the ODI between England and Ireland ? I assume England won. I mean could you imagine the utter humiliation if the holders of the Ashes were to be thumped by a bunch of part-time duffers? Mick and Paul would never be able to live it down. :smilielol5:
03-02-2011, 03:26 PM
prendrelemick

They may be part time duffers, but our boys are full time duffers.
03-02-2011, 06:56 PM
Paulclem

Quote:

Originally Posted by jocky

Hey guys, does anyone know the result of the ODI between England and Ireland ? I assume England won. I mean could you imagine the utter humiliation if the holders of the Ashes were to be thumped by a bunch of part-time duffers? Mick and Paul would never be able to live it down. :smilielol5:

That would be yet another thing I couldn't live down. It all began in 1979 when the Aussies, featuring Mal Meninga, completely thrashed us at Hull. I never liked Hull. Depressing place.
03-03-2011, 01:19 AM
The Atheist

Quote:

Originally Posted by jocky

Hey guys, does anyone know the result of the ODI between England and Ireland ? I assume England won. I mean could you imagine the utter humiliation if the holders of the Ashes were to be thumped by a bunch of part-time duffers? Mick and Paul would never be able to live it down. :smilielol5:

Hahaha!

You were the very first person I thought of when I saw that result! I said to myself, I bet even the Scots are happy today; England being vanquished by Celtic cousins!

Unbelievable result, but it probably won't be enough to knock them out of contention.
03-03-2011, 03:19 AM
prendrelemick

To progress we probably only need another win in 4 games. But one "Test status" side is going out - why not England
03-03-2011, 10:48 AM
jocky

Quote:

Originally Posted by Paulclem

That would be yet another thing I couldn't live down. It all began in 1979 when the Aussies, featuring Mal Meninga, completely thrashed us at Hull. I never liked Hull. Depressing place.

Hull depressing ! Never.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vEXEekmhUts
03-03-2011, 01:50 PM
prendrelemick

The slogan used to promote that city used to be "It's Never Dull in Hull"

This was certainly true in some of the dockside pubs.
03-03-2011, 01:57 PM
Paulclem

Quote:

Originally Posted by jocky

Hull depressing ! Never.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vEXEekmhUts

Brilliant video.

I remember the power station we had in wakefield, and the pit round the back of the houses where we lived, and the horrible council estate we lived on and used to walk through to get to school - (it's even worse now. I once heard a commotion outside my brother's house and watched - stunned as a bloke in a wheelchair threatened to kill two young lads who were taking the mickey out of him... at three in the morning).

But it was better than Hull.
03-04-2011, 01:52 PM
The Atheist

Well, all that explains why so many of you want to move over here!

The odd part is, no sooner do most of ;em get here than they want to go "back 'ome".
03-04-2011, 09:10 PM
jocky

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Atheist

Well, all that explains why so many of you want to move over here!

The odd part is, no sooner do most of ;em get here than they want to go "back 'ome".

I am quite happy where I am. :smile5:

http://images.halloweencostumes.net/...ttish-girl.jpg
03-04-2011, 09:36 PM
jocky

Mick and Paul at the pub using pseudonyms, naturally.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hvQq_tqB0jA

:)
03-05-2011, 01:57 AM
The Atheist

Quote:

Originally Posted by jocky

I am quite happy where I am.

I don't blame you!

I'd be happy to hang my sporran under her pillow.

Quote:

Originally Posted by jocky

Mick and Paul at the pub using pseudonyms, naturally.

:smilielol5:

The good old cloth cap. Does anyone still wear them?
03-05-2011, 02:08 AM
Cunninglinguist

Quote:

Originally Posted by jocky

Hull depressing ! Never.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vEXEekmhUts

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AsZXpG-izMA&NR=1
03-05-2011, 04:46 AM
prendrelemick

Quote:

Originally Posted by jocky

I am quite happy where I am. :smile5:

http://images.halloweencostumes.net/...ttish-girl.jpg

Hoots mon!

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Atheist

I don't blame you!

:smilielol5:

The good old cloth cap. Does anyone still wear them?

I have several :sosp: And a yorkshire man would not foul his lips with beer as flat as that!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cunninglinguist

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AsZXpG-izMA&NR=1

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3XV86...eature=related

As the that old song says "From Hull, and Halifax and Hell, may the Lord deliver me." I've lived in two of the three, - I wonder where I'm going next.:reddevil:
03-05-2011, 03:25 PM
soundofmusic

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Atheist

Yes, an amazing result after scoring 339?

If all else fails, call Suzie.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D5iQB...layer_embedded

That would be fine if the mother's a vegan!

That didn't quite occur to me. It's funny, in the states, they use road kill as fertilizer; I wonder how many vegans are getting a bit of extra protein in their spinach from 2 week old deer....

Quote:

Originally Posted by Paulclem

It's amazing what we can't do without these days. I don't know what I used to do with myself 15 years ago before I plunged into the world of computing and lost myself in digitality. I'm an e-head, and now I work a lot on the computer too.

We do have an old Uncle and an old Auntie to sort. (The old Auntie is 89, but claims she is 82 for reasons we cannot fathom. (We know because her DOB is on the medication we pick up for her). With the old Uncle it's just a case of going to the hospital with him every now and then. The Old Auntie requires taking shopping, appointments, prescriptions, odd jobs, bins etc etc. So we would but...:frown2:

You're right, I sometimes wonder how I used to get a whole house cleaned in one day; oddly enough, in those days, we had no vhs, dvds or computers.
Well, I think I would be a much better adopted relative, I remember my age and would sit in the corner at dinner and tell dirty jokes:reddevil:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gilliatt Gurgle

There's no place like home!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Vozk...eature=related

My Illinois assignment is finished !!!
The project manager sent me home with a bottle of Wild Turkey 101.
After two days driving, I am back in the saddle getting re acquainted with my dog.
Oh yeah; and my wife, son and cat too.

Gg

Well, those girls look like they could make a fair breakfast; but I think I'd go elsewhere for cuddling.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Paulclem

Good for you Gilliatt. I bet it's nice coming home after hotels.:thumbs_up

I love hotels; particularly when the angels come down when I'm out and make my bed and vacuum my floor...well, now that I've realized I don't have to do it for them

Quote:

Originally Posted by jocky

One man's heaven is another man's hell. Mrs Jocky has comprehensively outsmarted me again. She announced that " given the nation's financial situation, I am starting a domestic economic savings programme ". The first manifestation of the new fiscal reality became clear when Turncoat gave out a long low piteous howl. On investigation I discovered his Pedigree Chum had been replaced by the particularly cheap, Mongrels Delight. The next shock came when my Mr Kipling cakes were substituted by Jammy Dodgers. The last straw was when I went to my hidey hole, which no one knows about, to have a dram, only to discover my Glenmorangie was gone and in its place a cheap and nasty blend. Well a man can just take so much and I went to confront her only to find her heading for the front door. Where are you going I enquired ? " Och Jocky I am going to the bingo. As a result of my thrift I can now go seven nights a week instead of five. " That woman is going to be the death of me. :(

I'm crying for your plight over here, poor Jocky. I'd come over to comfort you; but my tears seems to have put an ocean between us:bawling::bawling::bawling:
03-05-2011, 07:44 PM
jocky

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cunninglinguist

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AsZXpG-izMA&NR=1

:)

Just when you think things are getting better.
03-05-2011, 07:46 PM
jocky

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Atheist

I don't blame you!

I'd be happy to hang my sporran under her pillow.

:smilielol5:

Aye, but just make sure you don't leave your credit card in it.
03-05-2011, 07:53 PM
jocky

Quote:

Originally Posted by prendrelemick

I wonder where I'm going next.:reddevil:

Nae worries, everyone from the Cold Ale Thread will be there. Just think, booze, women, money worries, sheep.....Not much difference really. :)
03-05-2011, 08:02 PM
jocky

Quote:

Originally Posted by soundofmusic

I'm crying for your plight over here, poor Jocky. I'd come over to comfort you; but my tears seems to have put an ocean between us:bawling::bawling::bawling:

If you really cared a small obstacle like the Atlantic Ocean should be no barrier. " Frailty, thy name be woman." :)
03-05-2011, 08:05 PM
Paulclem

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Atheist

The good old cloth cap. Does anyone still wear them?

Here is mine - waterproof and a Christmas present. I've needed it this year!!

[IMG]http://i995.photobucket.com/albums/a...lothCap_01.jpg[/IMG]
03-05-2011, 08:05 PM
jocky

Quote:

Originally Posted by soundofmusic

I'm crying for your plight over here, poor Jocky. I'd come over to comfort you; but my tears seems to have put an ocean between us:bawling::bawling::bawling:

If you really cared a small obstacle like the Atlantic Ocean should be no barrier. " Frailty, thy name is woman." :)
03-05-2011, 08:11 PM
Paulclem

Quote:

Originally Posted by soundofmusic

That didn't quite occur to me. It's funny, in the states, they use road kill as fertilizer; I wonder how many vegans are getting a bit of extra protein in their spinach from 2 week old deer....

You're right, I sometimes wonder how I used to get a whole house cleaned in one day; oddly enough, in those days, we had no vhs, dvds or computers.
Well, I think I would be a much better adopted relative, I remember my age and would sit in the corner at dinner and tell dirty jokes:reddevil:

I love hotels; particularly when the angels come down when I'm out and make my bed and vacuum my floor...well, now that I've realized I don't have to do it for them

Try as we might, we vegetarians can't succeed. There are measures set by the food regulators in each country as to how many insect parts are permissible in rice etc. Perhaps we get plenty of protein that way. :lol:

I can slip from the TV to a DVD to the computer in three easy movements. There's just so much to do these days.

I also like hotels - for the same reasons - and I have lived in a few when we were travelling. Superb. It's finally nice to go home and cook in your own time though.
03-06-2011, 12:08 AM
The Atheist

Quote:

Originally Posted by jocky

Aye, but just make sure you don't leave your credit card in it.

No worries with me. If it isn't over its limit, the available balance will be about $2-98.

It's part of an ongoing thesis of mine: Avoiding Credit Card Fraud; keep your card at its limit!
03-06-2011, 11:17 PM
soundofmusic

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Atheist

Mate, they are bad metaphors to mix!

:nod:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Paulclem

:lol:
And she might turn a profit. There's no faulting a woman's logic. That's why us men are prone to irrational behaviour in protest.

I don't know, I've begun to notice that since men have been trying to become sensitive for their women folk; they have also increased the irrational behavior.

Quote:

Originally Posted by prendrelemick

:lol:
I've never known anyone more in need of a shed than you jocky.

Maybe jocky should get some sheep too; or an old jalopy. My dad spent hours tuning up his old cars. I remeber when he ruined 2 tires on the new family car driving through junk yards to find a piece on his old 51 ford.

Quote:

Originally Posted by jocky

I am quite happy where I am. :smile5:

http://images.halloweencostumes.net/...ttish-girl.jpg

Wow, where did you find her; is she one of Jocky Jrs little playmates?

Quote:

Originally Posted by jocky

If you really cared a small obstacle like the Atlantic Ocean should be no barrier. " Frailty, thy name be woman." :)

You're right Jocky, how could I be so cold when my friend is in need...I'll steal an airboat and be right over.
03-07-2011, 01:23 AM
soundofmusic

Quote:

Originally Posted by Paulclem

Try as we might, we vegetarians can't succeed. There are measures set by the food regulators in each country as to how many insect parts are permissible in rice etc. Perhaps we get plenty of protein that way. :lol:

I can slip from the TV to a DVD to the computer in three easy movements. There's just so much to do these days.

I also like hotels - for the same reasons - and I have lived in a few when we were travelling. Superb. It's finally nice to go home and cook in your own time though.

[URL="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mW5_4gZ0Jn4&feature=fvsr"]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mW5_4gZ0Jn4&feature=fvsr[/UR

I'm not terribly fond of meat; but I try to do my part to keep the food chain balanced...:willy_nilly:
03-07-2011, 01:27 AM
soundofmusic

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mW5_4gZ0Jn4&feature=fvsr

....once, all of man were vegetarians...and then.....:nod: Just kidding; loved this movie, all blood and breasts....actually, more breasts than blood...:frown2:
03-07-2011, 04:46 AM
The Atheist

Quote:

Originally Posted by soundofmusic

I don't know, I've begun to notice that since men have been trying to become sensitive for their women folk; they have also increased the irrational behavior.

That has just got to stop.
03-09-2011, 12:46 AM
Gilliatt Gurgle

Just popping in for a quick one (drink that is) and to let you blokes know I'm still around.

Atheist,
What's the latest out of Christchurch?

Jocky,
I'll have you know that Bartok left his calling card on my windshield a couple days ago.
It took muriatic acid, a putty knife and half an hour to clear it off !!

Gg
03-09-2011, 02:18 AM
The Atheist

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gilliatt Gurgle

Atheist,
What's the latest out of Christchurch?

About 200 dead and 10-20,000 out of their homes, which will likely need to be pulled down.

All seems to be ok now, as the biggest story is the lack of chemical toilets. It appears that nobody in Christchurch owns a spade.

The real trouble will come when we have to pay for fixing it up as we're broke!
03-09-2011, 03:06 AM
prendrelemick

Quote:

Originally Posted by soundofmusic

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mW5_4gZ0Jn4&feature=fvsr

....once, all of man were vegetarians...and then.....:nod: Just kidding; loved this movie, all blood and breasts....actually, more breasts than blood...:frown2:

Not even a single Oscar nomination! They should have a catogory for best gratuitous scene involving bikini clad actresses .
03-09-2011, 12:57 PM
The Atheist

This is the movie for you, mick:

http://www.imdb.com/video/screenplay/vi177473049/
03-09-2011, 03:58 PM
prendrelemick

:smilielol5::smilielol5::smilielol5:

I'm lost for words.

Meanwhile you kiwis have been upsetting those nice Ukrainian feminists I see.

http://www.allvoices.com/contributed...fe-competition
03-09-2011, 08:48 PM
Paulclem

Quote:

Originally Posted by prendrelemick

:smilielol5::smilielol5::smilielol5:

I'm lost for words.

Meanwhile you kiwis have been upsetting those nice Ukrainian feminists I see.

http://www.allvoices.com/contributed...fe-competition

I'm all for freedom of speech and expression. I think it is the crowning glory of Western Civilisations and should be encouraged. :hurray:
03-10-2011, 02:33 AM
soundofmusic

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Atheist

That has just got to stop.

My friend is dating a sensitive man; he talks about babies and diapers for 2 hours at friday barbe, followed by a *****ing session of what his 2 wives did to him over 20 years :bawling::bawling:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gilliatt Gurgle

Just popping in for a quick one (drink that is) and to let you blokes know I'm still around

Jocky,
I'll have you know that Bartok left his calling card on my windshield a couple days ago.
It took muriatic acid, a putty knife and half an hour to clear it off !!

Gg

Good to see you; which reminds me, I have to put a new screen up before the buggers take over my roof. It used to be terrible listening to them make love all night:nonod:

Quote:

Originally Posted by prendrelemick

Not even a single Oscar nomination! They should have a catogory for best gratuitous scene involving bikini clad actresses .

Yeah, and they were class A breasts too, had a good deal of bounce, all on a front angle, none of that jumping to the side stuff...

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Atheist

This is the movie for you, mick:

http://www.imdb.com/video/screenplay/vi177473049/

I see I'm going to have to break my rule about not eating anything fuzzy with soft eyes...those creatures numbers have to be taken down haha.

Quote:

Originally Posted by prendrelemick

:smilielol5::smilielol5::smilielol5:

I'm lost for words.

Meanwhile you kiwis have been upsetting those nice Ukrainian feminists I see.

http://www.allvoices.com/contributed...fe-competition

Wow, why don't they protests like that in the states...of course, our females are mostly heavy weights...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Paulclem

I'm all for freedom of speech and expression. I think it is the crowning glory of Western Civilisations and should be encouraged. :hurray:

Here, Here...The only thing I can add to that is that men should be equal opportunity protestors....
03-10-2011, 03:50 AM
The Atheist

Quote:

Originally Posted by prendrelemick

:smilielol5::smilielol5::smilielol5:

I'm lost for words.

Thought you might like that one!

Quote:

Originally Posted by prendrelemick

Meanwhile you kiwis have been upsetting those nice Ukrainian feminists I see.

I find myself agreeing fully with those brave women - the contest is sexist and disgraceful.

It is merely coincidence that I'm flying to Ukraine to join the protest tonight!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Paulclem

I'm all for freedom of speech and expression. I think it is the crowning glory of Western Civilisations and should be encouraged. :hurray:

Haha! I've been discussing it lately and I said much the same to a couple of rabid feminists as I just said to Mick and it was not well received.

Those chicks are the best thing to happen to feminism since Germaine Greer finally achieved orgasm.

Quote:

Originally Posted by soundofmusic

My friend is dating a sensitive man; he talks about babies and diapers for 2 hours at friday barbe, followed by a *****ing session of what his 2 wives did to him over 20 years :bawling::bawling:

Oh, that's sickening. I'd put a link, but it is so NFSW - or anywhere else - that I thought I'd best not.

Just search YouTube for Ronnie Johns Chopper and it'll be the first video.

Get that bloke to watch it. His name's not Stefan is it?

;)
03-10-2011, 08:38 PM
Paulclem

Do you chaps and Ladies think that the person who filled up the shelves in the Poundshop a few weeks ago did this on purpose?

[IMG]http://i995.photobucket.com/albums/a...90211_1413.jpg[/IMG]

The next time I went in had been changed, or perhaps the Pope had sold well.
03-11-2011, 02:14 AM
The Atheist

Hahaa! Classic.

That's certainly how I'd have had them.
03-11-2011, 03:30 AM
OrphanPip

I'm curious about the "arse angling" dvd on the left.
03-11-2011, 03:49 AM
prendrelemick

Quote:

Originally Posted by OrphanPip

I'm curious about the "arse angling" dvd on the left.

:smilielol5: Good spot Pip. (what he does with his rod and tackle should be no one's buisness but his own.)
03-11-2011, 04:19 AM
prendrelemick

Here's a blast from the past.

The year is 1983.

Breakfast TV started on the BBC.:sleep:
The Austin Maestro was launched.:driving:
The One pound coin was introduced
Ronald Raygun announced his "star Wars" initiative.:idea:
Maggie Thatcher won the Election in june - and announced swingeing cuts in July.:rolleyes5:

Cheryl Cole was born.

And for the last time, Scotland beat England at Rugby.:p