It is Too Titty to be a Preacher
Let's go to Annual shower flow
rather than watch artists perform Bad salad
while keeping their Bass-ackwards
But I have a Bat flattery
And the Bedding wells are ringing
All the Belly jeans are drunk and frolicking
I don't think it's Birthington's washday today
Her memory gives my mind a Blushing crow
Should I call her a Bowel feast?
They say Britannia waives the rules
Bunny phone gave them all the strength
Their heads covered with Cat flap
King's men were Chewing the doors
One guy was busy Chipping the flannel
Cop porn flowing from his mouth
Another dude Crawls through the fax
Damp stealer mistakently sticks the stamps
Fight in your race, Oh!
Residents watch from Flock of bats
A Flutter by hovers on Docs head
While he performs Full bottle in front of me
Go help me sod, cries a passer by
Hiss and leer, the angels remark
We have run out of our Hypodermic nurdles
And we are shout of the hour
You can wait and enjoy Keys and parrots
and Know your blows
Many have come to us with Lack of pies
But we discovered that with Lead of spite
Certainly no one likes Mad banners
Playing with Mad bunny makes Men Mad
It's not unwise to be as Mean as custard
Mend the sail and let everyone know
Speak up, Don't say your zips are lipped
Nasal hut tastes good with chocolate
but too much of Choc will make you Nick your pose
Stretch your No tails like those of a gorilla
Certainly it's bad Pit nicking
the Plaster man made by Master Engineers
Equipped with necessary Pleating and humming
So be Ready as a stock in matters all
When the Rental deceptionist hammers your teeth
Let not your eyes get Roaring with pain
Learn perseverance from Dicken's Sale of two titties
Remember how Jesus would do Sealing the hick
Chill out and Shake a tower
Sir Stifford Crapps expressly implores you
He is presently navigating the Soppy cheese
With a Soul of ballad in his hand
Loudly crying 'Tease my ears, O Lord'
The rutting season for tea cosies is round the corner
It's joy to be there, take it not as the pun fart
O My Tons of soil !
I know it is too titty to be a preacher
Not easy to walk on Trail snacks
We have but to Wave the sails.
adapted by mazHur
Then again I might have got those trophies from Goodwill
My lady gave me trophies she
Had stolen long ago.
Her former beau--
He’ll never know--
His name she scratched out with a blow
Before she married me.
It seemed he was disqualified
And I reigned in his place.
His winning face
Scarred with disgrace--
He humbly ran the human race--
Like him I also died.
Before my body went to rest
She had my coffin lined--
Her thoughtful mind
Could now unwind--
With trophies front, around, behind.
She gave me all her best.
Poetry that should be great but ain’t
My lady, a great love of mine,
Is loved by someone who
Is strong and rich and, oh!, so fine,
When drunk his breath fills air with wine,
I wish he loved me, too.
And should she pause to think of me
In my dark hovel drear
While on his horse, her hands, of course,
Exploring, teasing manly force,
I’d wait for her right here.
But she will not stop by I know.
Let starry daydreams fade.
I still have Ann. I am her man.
She does her best and thinks I can
Pay more when she gets paid.
For those of you who need line breaks this poem doesn’t have any
If you’ve ever wondered how the dragon caught the damsel you should rather wonder why and that will make you wonder about the knight and there’s another why for you.
I’ve wondered why the dragon kept feeding the damsel. Did he think the knight would be tastier or did he think that a single damsel wasn’t big enough by herself for a full meal?
And what about Mrs. Dragon long observing how her beast caressed those damsel curves? How long could patience keep her waiting?
Oh, sure. He’d reason with her, but right now she needs something meaty to flavor the evening soup and he doesn’t seem to be paying any attention.
This poem makes less sense than I originally intended it to
After putting the finishing touches on his time machine Dr. Brainiak decided to do the unit testing that should have occurred earlier but for lack of funding could not be done until now. Yes! Now! That moment in history when he would show how every past is Now and how every future is Now. He took a deep breath and then another and then another and then stopped. He was in the Now of pure, immoral, t = 0 alpha-omega anti-time generated by his machine proving conclusively that there couldn’t be another t.
He somehow died, they reasoned, because he couldn’t exhale, but how was he able to die being in the Now is still being debated by his colleagues. Hell should last forever. The university did need to get rid of the remains, regardless, which refused to decompose on their own, because he was no longer actively getting rejected for research grants.
He knew people would become irrational when they found him, but he could not get to t = 1 from t = 0. He could not even get to t = -1 although he tried that too. He couldn’t even unplug the machine because, assuming the machine was working properly, he wasn’t actually in the common delusion of time anymore although the video camera which was not in the Now showed how hard he couldn’t try.
It is hard being a martyr when everyone thinks you have burnt them at the stake
By Lily White Luvable
my
which
burning
boyfriend
burns
Announcing the canonization of Lily White Luvable, martyr
By Lily White Luvable
thank you
with
(Shh! They can’t see us)gratitude
(Yeah sure)justice
humanity
(Nothing like playing this record backwards)decency
every
(That’s right)ware
belatedly
finally
recognized
i (That would be me)
accept
