write a really bad poem

[DieterM]

Oh, and I forgot some other cute things you always find in bad prose…

Thinking nodder, or the nodding thinker

She was nodding her head
and thinking to herself,
'What could I nod now,
and to whom could I think later?'

[cacian]

the meaning of bad
is something sad
so sad it wont
let anything
be mad

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

Sub Urban #2

Friday night, winding down
Blue "Snuggie" covered in cat hair
keeps me warm.
Sipping a dirty martini
shaken of course.
The old lady walks in,
time to fold the laundry.

[YesNo]

We got off the interstate taking North Avenue east
heading for the Wells Street Art Fair when on the
right was a sign saying "Weeds" and so I put my thumb
and index finger together and took a toke on some air
weed, coughing, and then saying to my imaginary friend,
Alice, sitting next to me in the car, "This is some
good ****," offering her a hit which she refused telling
me to keep my eyes on the road and reminded me that
this art fair, believe it or not, costs seven dollars
per person to get in and that I should not try to buy
a ticket for her since she isn't really there and she
doesn't want me embarrassing her like I did last time
by insisting on paying for someone only I can see
and, knowing it would make her happy, I said, "OK."

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

^Haha, nice one, especially the editing comment.

[YesNo]

Thanks, Gilliatt Gurgle. Your poem reminded me of my daughter and her cat. The problem with both of our poems is that they make too much sense to be really bad. I'm trying to think of ways to correct that in the next one I post. It can't be total nonsense either. It has to have just enough meaning to suck the soul out of the reader while offering nothing in the way of sound or content.

DieterM's suggestion to use passive voice if one wants to really write something bad would apply to both prose and poetry, but one can get away with anything in poetry. I liked the first two lines of cacian's poem rhyming bad-sad-mad to think it might not be all that bad either.

[cacian]

thank you YesNo I think bad can be interpreted widely it depends on the person

eroticism
and sadism
they ought to get together
flog each other
and make a rhythm to ever
it needs it the body's
forbiden too much hi' them

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

... The problem with both of our poems is that they make too much sense to be really bad. I'm trying to think of ways to correct that in the next one I post. It can't be total nonsense either. It has to have just enough meaning to suck the soul out of the reader.....

Sage advice, however I'm currently in the midst of Tennyson and also made a brief jaunt over to Coleridge "Sonnet to the Autumnal Moon" and of course ther's my long time bard buddy; Goldsmith all of whom, when compared to my feeble attempts, squarely places mine in the really bad category.
Nevertheless, I'll try to do badder.

[mazHur]

Nice!

[mazHur]

Thanks, Gilliatt Gurgle. Your poem reminded me of my daughter and her cat. The problem with both of our poems is that they make too much sense to be really bad. I'm trying to think of ways to correct that in the next one I post. It can't be total nonsense either. It has to have just enough meaning to suck the soul out of the reader while offering nothing in the way of sound or content.

DieterM's suggestion to use passive voice if one wants to really write something bad would apply to both prose and poetry, but one can get away with anything in poetry. I liked the first two lines of cacian's poem rhyming bad-sad-mad to think it might not be all that bad either.

Bad is bad, it can't be 'very' bad or even 'too' bad. However, your valued comments suggest some good aspects of writing poetry, especially nursery rhymes, some of which though not bad are really absurd but funny.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

...It has to have just enough meaning to suck the soul out of the reader while offering nothing in the way of sound or content...

This one will suck the soul and the wind out of the Woodwinds...

Sub Urbane No. 3 in D Minor; Allegro Moderato
The 1st movement

Yo...yo, ma!
Yes dear, more milk
and habanero's?
No...no ma,
look, the cello player
across the street.
He... he begs
for sump'n sweet.
I'll take him to Brahms,
weel be right Bach.
Aye...aye, then ul be pass'n
by the market I suppose.
Here...here's my Liszt
an weel be need'n some
beets for dinner.
But...but what about my
wood Chopin?
Don't...don't be fret'n oer that,
weel burn peat tonight.
Oh...oh, an stop by Wagner's
an pick up one of those
new fangled Beetovens.


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Braum's


http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=KHzfD6XLK7Q

.

[mazHur]

Let's go to Annual shower flow
rather than watch artists perform Bad salad
while keeping their Bass-ackwards
But I have a Bat flattery
And the Bedding wells are ringing
All the Belly jeans are drunk and frolicking
I don't think it's Birthington's washday today
Her memory gives my mind a Blushing crow
Should I call her a Bowel feast?
They say Britannia waives the rules
Bunny phone gave them all the strength
Their heads covered with Cat flap
King's men were Chewing the doors
One guy was busy Chipping the flannel
Cop porn flowing from his mouth
Another dude Crawls through the fax
Damp stealer mistakently sticks the stamps
Fight in your race, Oh!
Residents watch from Flock of bats
A Flutter by hovers on Docs head
While he performs Full bottle in front of me
Go help me sod, cries a passer by
Hiss and leer, the angels remark
We have run out of our Hypodermic nurdles
And we are shout of the hour
You can wait and enjoy Keys and parrots
and Know your blows
Many have come to us with Lack of pies
But we discovered that with Lead of spite
Certainly no one likes Mad banners
Playing with Mad bunny makes Men Mad
It's not unwise to be as Mean as custard
Mend the sail and let everyone know
Speak up, Don't say your zips are lipped
Nasal hut tastes good with chocolate
but too much of Choc will make you Nick your pose
Stretch your No tails like those of a gorilla
Certainly it's bad Pit nicking
the Plaster man made by Master Engineers
Equipped with necessary Pleating and humming
So be Ready as a stock in matters all
When the Rental deceptionist hammers your teeth
Let not your eyes get Roaring with pain
Learn perseverance from Dicken's Sale of two titties
Remember how Jesus would do Sealing the hick
Chill out and Shake a tower
Sir Stifford Crapps expressly implores you
He is presently navigating the Soppy cheese
With a Soul of ballad in his hand
Loudly crying 'Tease my ears, O Lord'
The rutting season for tea cosies is round the corner
It's joy to be there, take it not as the pun fart
O My Tons of soil !
I know it is too titty to be a preacher
Not easy to walk on Trail snacks
We have but to Wave the sails.

adapted by mazHur

[prendrelemick]

Far too good mazHur

[YesNo]

I suppose they could always be worse, but the two from Gilliatt Gurgle and mazHur are making me wonder if I can write something worse. Now I feel challenged.

[AuntShecky]

MazHur's piece is too funny to be bad. But the huge typeface made my eyes hurt!