A Japanese mispronunciation.
fly
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A Japanese mispronunciation.
fly
fly an annoying insect that is addicted to fruit salad, and loves to barf on your arm for no good reason
Laws
Laws: The imperfect basis of the legal system. Like flaws - but there's no f in laws worth worrying about.
Barcelona
A place that people who nothing seem to come from, particularly in Devon hotels. (Remember Farty Owls?)
Conspiracy theories
Is the word 'know' missing from that sentence?Quote:
Originally Posted by dafydd manton
Incidentally, if he came from Barcelona, he wouldn't have pronoounced it Barthelona, would he? Cos I don't think they do that in Catalan - only in Castilian. I stand to be corrected on this.
I come from Barthelona, I know Noooothing. And you are right, brain had idea, fingers rejected it. It's an age thing.
Conspiracy theories Ideas that the government is involved in vast cover ups of alien presences and assassination of their own leaders which may or may not have a basis in truth
Alien Abduction
A system whereby little green men with antennae come to earth and seek out those in whom there is a brain malfunction, in order to carry out horrific experiments, such as trying to get them to get a life.
air conditioning
air conditioning Home cooling device usually set at temperatures considered uncomfortably cold in the winter when we hike up the thermostat to temperatures considered too hot in the summer
Yard Sale
The piece of material attached to the spinnaker in the bows of a schooner, it being exactly 36 inches in length. Whatever that is in centimetres.
metre
metre: A practically universal measure that does away with feet. Except when its poetry, when it consists of feet.
giraffe
A revolving jet of water, used for washing such things as the camelopard.
diplomat
Diplomat - a recycling establishment set up to provide the service of washing retiring foreign dignitaries; cleaning the dirt of fulsomeness and removing the stains of smarm, thus returning them as respectable, presentable members of society.
Oenophile -
Oenophile - whassat mean? Damn good ques-hic-question. Then again, who frickin' cares? Bastard. Is that my coat?
placebo
placebo The medical miracle that works better than the actual medication, making one wonder if they produce medication simply for making money...
Respect
That which Aretha Franklin sings about.Quote:
Originally Posted by Pendragon
Next: Arrogance.
Arrogance: self-confidence apparent in someone you don't like.
ice cream
A strange, white substance, extruded from the aluminium rectum of a vast hopper aboard a 1974 Ford Transit, and which, the instant you part with coin, turns to a slimy liquid and goes up your shirt sleeve. See also Botulism.
Pier
Pier Long wooden structure that stretches out into the water at lakes and the ocean, thus enabling people to fall off into deep water while fishing or gawking at girls in bikinis...
Bikini
The only bits of clothing left on somebody after a nuclear explosion.
Hamburger
Hamburger: the only townspeople that folk from Frankfurt can safely laugh at.
petulance
A firm of veterinary surgeons.
marriage
marriage A form of legalized slavery
Booze
The only relief from any forms of legalized slavery.
Grandmother
Grandmother Female whom upon becoming one looses all sense of whether children are good or bad, merely stating that "They are going through a phase", the terror of parents everywhere
Novelty
A word supplied to any concept you don't understand, or a little plastic thingy inside a cracker. Sometimes both.
arboretum
arboretum: A place where Trees of Distinction can stand aloof from the common wood.
Machine.
Machine/McHine. Inventor. Edward Aloysius Marmaduke McHine, invented the waterproof canal, the self-propelled duck and the self-reciprocating artificial leg. Died in Obscurity, a little town just outside Glasgow. There is a memorial drain-cover to him in the Gorbals.
Journalist
Journalist - a profession created by Providence in order that politicians might have someone to look down on.
nectarine
A little bit of the Gods' food on earth.Quote:
Originally Posted by MarkBastable
crimp
Crimp - a small, muscular contraction common in hairdressers
conductor
Conductor: A member of a secret society committed to oppose the spread of aquatic foul in parks and other public places. They were implicated in a spate of mysterious duck drownings during the summer of '84. It later emerged that bread weighted with lead shot had been fed to the victims. During the investigation several children and their nannies were arrested by police officers disguised as shrubbery in Hyde Park. No charges were ever brought, and the whole affair was blamed on fishing weights - leading some prominent anglers to believe that Conductors occupy very high places.
Undulate.
Undulate - that which is put beneath carpet on uneven floors.
aviator
aviator One who seeks only the plane truth...
Excuse
Excuse - a post eventum explanation that even the explainer doesn't find convincing.
bacon
Proof that certain English writers such as Francis, Ist Viscount of St Albans, were Jewish.
cocktail
The male of a species of fowls with a long tail, bred in poultry farm.
Jam
The thing that has to be, because jelly doesn't shake like it.
Sermon
Sermon: An instructive speech one can only get away with in Church, where questioning it would be unthinkable.
Dividend
The Human derriere.
solicitor