Not yet...

I am walking down a way which sleeps around wet leaves
The night drips in the armful fog
The shadows behind their shadows leave
I know it ends at the end …
Only that, I will not believe.

..........

I like the dream state of holding onto something, although it is over. There is a bitter sweet sentiment to being this way. But this poem conveys hope.

The first line is lovely, but what is 'armful fog'? I also have a problem with the ellipsis. It distracts the eye, and I can't think of a good reason to put it there.

Like Lykren, I love the first line the best. It is a whole poem:
'I'm walking down a way which sleeps among wet leaves!'
Simple, enveloping, mysterious.
Bravo LG!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Buh4Bee

I like the dream state of holding onto something, although it is over. There is a bitter sweet sentiment to being this way. But this poem conveys hope.

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and more than hope, it is what I want to believe inside me... a right which is my very own...

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Lykren

The first line is lovely, but what is 'armful fog'? I also have a problem with the ellipsis. It distracts the eye, and I can't think of a good reason to put it there.

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an image can be seen, imagined, or it can be a blend of both, 'armful fog' is one such image...
D ellipsis part is primarily for a trailing-off-but-lingering effect...and I definitely think it is a good reason to put it there...
Thank you. :)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Bar22do

Like Lykren, I love the first line the best. It is a whole poem:
'I'm walking down a way which sleeps among wet leaves!'
Simple, enveloping, mysterious.
Bravo LG!

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You gave me d first grin of d day
Thank you Bar... :D :D :D

Hi Little Gal

the closing lines seemed to be contradictory at first, but yes, you can know and yet not believe, its the flip side of a more common situation where people believe but do not know :)

I also agree with the comments on your opening line.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Jerrybaldy

Hi Little Gal

the closing lines seemed to be contradictory at first, but yes, you can know and yet not believe, its the flip side of a more common situation where people believe but do not know :)

I also agree with the comments on your opening line.

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Hey JB... thank you ... :)
P.S. I like it better being called LG.. :)

Hi LG

the closing lines seemed to be contradictory at first, but yes, you can know and yet not believe, its the flip side of a more common situation where people believe but do not know

I also agree with the comments on your opening line.

Hey JB... thank you ...
P.S. I like it better being called LG..