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My wife is trying to sign me up for evening classes and has nailed the attached prospectus to my pillow. What do you think LitNet dwellers? Am I in trouble, or something?
Note: I have written a reply, and nailed it to her pillow, but I will withhold it until I have heard some comments from you.Quote:
Originally Posted by The Adult Education Center for men
/Claes, in dire need of advice...
Class 3 “Is it possible to urinate using the technique of lifting the seat and avoiding the floor, walls and bathtub?”
Group practice
I can only envision :lol:
:lol:
you know I might need class 4 somtimes.... but then I dont have a laundry hamper just a corner of the room.
Is this a for real prospectus or is this your wife ticked off??
Wow, where do I sign up, it sounds like great fun! I really like 5, I didn't know that either, it'll be great to see how the dishes levitate!Quote:
Originally Posted by ClaesGefvenberg
Although I think 8 is not for everyone, what if someone has hayfever??
order them online!!
Yes, I think you are, indeed, in trouble. ;) I would pay special attention to class number 8, it might do a lot to settle her down. :pQuote:
Originally Posted by ClaesGefvenberg
Ok, here is the reply I promised, and now I will be in trouble :DQuote:
Originally Posted by Idril
Classes, you say? What utter tosh and drivel...
Class 1 “How to fill up ice cube trays”
Step by step demonstration with slide presentation.
- I don’t use ice cubes (We live in Sweden, for crying out loud: I’m frozen solid half the year anyway)… Fill them up yourself.
Class 2 “The toilet paper roll – does it change itself?”
Round table discussion.
- No it does not, and if you had a look around before you occupied the throne you would note if a refill is needed... That, I’m sure, would be a good deal easier than to holler for more paper once you’re stuck in there (which incidentally seems to be roughly 12 out of 24 available hours!).
Class 3 “Is it possible to urinate using the technique of lifting the seat and avoiding the floor, walls and bathtub?”
Group practice
- Group pra…? No, thank you very much. I prefer solitude. Or to quote a well known compatriot: -I want to be alone...
Class 4 “Fundamental differences between the laundry hamper and the floor”.
Pictures and explanatory graphics
- I did not put the dirty laundry on the floor. It fell off the top of the overflowing laundry hamper.
Class 5 “After dinner dishes – can they fly and levitate into the dishwasher?”
Examples on video
- What dishwasher? I am the sodding dishwasher around here, remember?
Class 6 “Loss of identity – losing the TV remote control to your significant other”.
Help line and support group.
- Smashing idea! I would be happy to take part in such a group... As a teacher: After all, someone will have to teach you how that little appliance actually works. Note: Screaming blue murder while pushing the buttons harder will not make them perform tasks they were never programmed for.
Class 7 “Learning how to find things – starting with looking in the right place and not turning the house upside down while screaming”.
Open forum
- Ah, yes… How am I going to find things if you keep moving them around? I know where I put them. It’s just that they don’t stay there…
Class 8 “Health watch – bringing her flowers is not harmful to your health”.
Graphics and audio tapes
- Yes it is. It would actually be harmful to my health as well as yours. You are allergic to them, remember? If I bring you flowers you will get an allergic reaction, whereupon I as well as said groceries will be thrown off the premises.
Class 9 “Learning to live – basic differences between mother and wife”.
On-line class with role play.
- Great. That, I take it, means that you will finally tell your mother that you moved out of her house years ago, and no longer is her little girl?
Class 10 “The stove/oven – what is it and how is it used?”
Live demonstration
- I can tell you how I use it: I spend most of my free time scraping various burnt in carbohydrates off it. How about keeping an eye on the stuff you put on it?
/Claes (edging towards the fallout shelter....) :goof:
:lol: :lol: :lol:
Oh, you are just asking for it now! ;) I think the fallout shelter is a very good idea.
Oh my Claes, are you sure a fallout shelter will help you now? I think some emergency grovelling skills would do better...:p
:lol:
and
a big box of choclates and maybe hide the rat poison and sharp knives....:p
Anyone willing to bet that Claes is sleeping on the sofa tonight?
:p
He'll be lucky if she lets him stay in the house. ;)
Wonder if they have a dog...Quote:
Originally Posted by Idril
http://www.justplayhouses.co.uk/images/doghouse2.jpg
;)
:lol: If they did Claes would have someone to learn grovelling from but if the dog is anything like mine the chocolate would be long gone.
Mrs. Claes might just add:
Class 11 "how to administer first aid to oneself."
Field trip to emergency room; active roleplay
Or:
Class 12 "that tent you thought you'd never have to use? Dig it out of the garage."
demonstration
:D