Vamlet pardoy of Hamlet

[bobeager]

Vamlet


Horatio is having trouble sleeping, ever since the events earlier in the day the bloodshed weighs heavily on his mind. Outside his window, Horatio hears a voice calling out from the darkness. He opens the window. Hamlet is floating outside. “Let me in.” Hamlet tries to smile his oversized fangs cause him some discomfort.

Horatio is not sure whether to scream or laugh. “Thou have changed.”

“I am Vamlet Forevermore,” he screams out. Horatio shrugs his shoulders and lets him in. Vamlet tries to relate the story of how he became a member of the “undead”. He enlists Horatio’s help in finding the answers to his puzzling predicament.

Vamlet is also visited by his dead father. The ghost of his father doesn’t know what to think of his transformation. Some of the other characters from beyond the grave will pop up and give Vamlet a piece of their mind. What kind of shenanigans will Vamlet and Horatio find themselves immersed into?

Vamlet must go on an odyssey and find the gravediggers who we believes hold the answers to his strange new transformation.

In this continuing odyssey, he has to ponder the thought of will his kingdom take him seriously? Who will lead his kingdom? His loyal companion Horatio volunteers to take the day shift.

[Charles Darnay]

? No. Just. No.

[Shaman_Raman]

I'm disappointed, I was looking forward to a parody shorty story, and got a description of a parody short story.

[hillwalker]

Badly written summary of an idea for a parody - seems hardly worth the effort of writing it I'm afraid.

In this continuing odyssey, he has to ponder the thought of will his kingdom take him seriously?

That's such a dreadful sentence ^^^

H

[Delta40]

:brickwall This doesn't even rate as a pretext to a summary of a parody! C'mon. You can do better than this...

[bobeager]

How about this one

Vamlet; the Rise of Ophelia


Ever since Hamlet became a vampire his afterlife has become quite complicated. Although, he still lives in the natural world he feels like an outcast. Some of the townspeople don’t trust him and the other ones are afraid.

Who is responsible for his transformation? He remembers blacking out after talking to the gravediggers. Strange teeth marks on his neck. He covered his bite marks before his epic confrontation with Claudius. After his death and buried in the coffin, he escapes back into the land of the living. And now he realizes the gravediggers had something to do with it.

Meanwhile, the Gravediggers who become clowns decide to create further mischief by bringing back Vamlet's beloved Ophelia. They give her a magic potion to help her rise from the dead. Why are they so hell-bent on destroying Vamlet’s life? This is a question better answered another time...



Back to our main characters

Vamlet tries to figure out his predicament. He talks with his faithful companion Horatio.

“There was something quite peculiar. During the play I saw the clowns dancing. I looked over and they were staring at me. Like this.”

Vamlet makes a funny face; his fangs protrude out oddly. “Just like that,” Horatio laughs.

“I noticed these clowns resembled the gravediggers. Although something was quite different...”

“It makes sense. Clowns are known to be shapeshifters, ” Horatio reiterates.

In the distance, Vamlet and Horatio see a woman struggling with her walk, reaching toward them.

Ophelia struggles, trying to pick up her dress so she doesn’t trip. They say that zombies remember certain habits they used to have. She becomes increasingly agitated as her nail falls off.

Vamlet: “Is that my Ophelia?”

As she gets closer, Vamlet and Horatio double-back.

“She no longer tickles my fancy. Especially with skin falling off her face,” Vamlet says to his faithful companion.

“Yes, just slightly less attractive,” Horatio says with an even bigger grin. Vamlet looks at him, shakes his head somewhat disgusted. Horatio continues teasing. “I think she wants a kiss.”

Vamlet stabs her in the heart. "'Til after-death us do part.” He stabs her again. “To be dead, or not to be.” She falls down. Dead once again.

“Stop with the bad lines--'tis my job,” Horatio says, smiling sarcastic.

Vamlet and Horatio are still puzzled. Why did they send her? Why was this so easy?

And one more question still lingers: Where are the clowns?

[hillwalker]

One wonders why you bothered

H

[Charles Darnay]

parody is not your strength - neither is Shakespeare. Stick to what you are good at and what you can really invest your energy in. There is nothing here.

[Delta40]

Lol. Now I'm going to give you points for trying. I actually feel like Ophelia this morning....Send in the Clowns (well, maybe next year)

[bobeager]

Maybe you will prefer this one parody of Hamlet and Tuesdays with Morrie


VAMLET: Thursdays With My Father’s Ghost

Some say that we never spend enough time with our families. It is true in my case because the ghost of my father only visits me on Thursday.

I have grown quite fond of my time with my dad and even his inherent cruelty.

He often reminds me that I was a bed wetter until the age of nine.

I routinely comment, “Thank you for the trip down Embarrassment Lane.”

My friend Horatio does not share the same affection for my father’s ghost.

Of course my father always plays jokes on my faithful friend. He urinates from the top of a tree onto Horatios head. I never realized that an apparition can cause his pee to coagulate into a solid form.

“Damn It be the ghost of Vamlet’s father,” Horatio screams. Even-though Horatio has a knack for bad grammar, his sentiment is understood.

Sometimes me and papa’s spirit take a walk into the forest. We gaze out across the empty trees looking at each other thinking the same thing. 'How could this have happened to us.'

We both share a laugh at our own expense. After all we both are dead. I am the lucky one because I was only bitten by a vampire and am still three dimensional and he is stuck at one.

We share a laugh, knowing; I was once on my way to becoming King and now I spend my time floating in the dark and had to change my name to Vamlet due to recently becoming a member of the undead.

Perhaps I may write a book called ‘Thursdays with the Ghost of my father.’ hopefully, it is not already copyrighted.

I am taking notes on what is it like to be a ghost. He tells me it is not always easy. He can’t eat a real apple. Sometimes he pretends by eating a pretend one. He says ,”sometimes its not to bad" referring to his ghost-like state." I can walk through a wall into someones bathroom. You can spy on the pretty ones. If you know what I mean. But then I realize people can see me. I am not invisible."

“That’s gross. No more. Forevermore.” Vamlet says not wanting to hear his father talk about his voyerism

He says, ‘Sometimes it can get lonely. The rules in the spirit world are 'Only one ghost per 500 yards'. He looks into the distant waves to another ghost off in the distance.
Vamlet nods his head, “fascinating.”

The spirit world is asking what it is like to be a vampire. I don’t really tell them. I don’t want them to steal the rights to my biography.

If you are wondering about my mother .My dear departed mother ,Gertrude , reserves her visits for Saturday when her ex-husband is nowhere to be found.


-

[AuntShecky]

It's my (limited) understanding that a parody (check the spelling in the title to your thread) is "a mocking imitation of the style of a literary work or works, ridiculing the stylistic habits of an author or school by exaggerated mimickry." (cf. Oxford Dictionary of Literary Terms.)

The same source defines burlesque as a kind of "parody that ridicules some serious literary work either by treating its solemn subject in an undignified style (see travesty) or applying its elevated style to a trivial subject, as in Pope's mock-epic poem The Rape of the Lock (1712-14.)"

I can't see how this piece fits in any of the three genres. Maybe it's "fan fiction?"

Whatever it is, both versions need a heavier injection of humor. Also --Show, don't tell!

[hillwalker]

Maybe you will prefer this one parody of Hamlet and Tuesdays with Morrie.

In a word - No. I'm assuming I might if I was American, but having never heard of Morrie your efforts were again completely wasted.

H