what is ladylike?

[cacian]

from a man's point of view it can be different.
from a woman's point of view it may well be other.



any takers ? haha.
And no beauty contests involved. Looks and rags are amenable and changeable.
i did look in Austen and it was not there either.

[Zaza]

I'm definitely not.

[YesNo]

Here's a link to an old Tom Jones song written by Paul Anka that tries to answer this question.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oIfxBthfFkg

[cacian]

I'm definitely not.
are you not? haha. I guess no one really knows what ladylike neans and I am a lady. I someone might explain soon ;)


Here's a link to an old Tom Jones song written by Paul Anka that tries to answer this question.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oIfxBthfFkg
Tom Jones is great unfortunately I do not have sound. No speakers in my computer.

[cafolini]

Lucretia Borgia and Mother Teresa.

[cacian]

Lucretia Borgia and Mother Teresa.

LOL
do not lucrezia portrait bare a resemblance with la madonna?
femme fatale and all. sounds rather more like a fatal blow. Three marriages and stacks of affairs. Very busy for someone to be the daughter of a pope.

[YesNo]

Tom Jones is great unfortunately I do not have sound. No speakers in my computer.

You can't hear sound on your computer?!

Here are the lyrics: http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/tomjones/shesalady.html

I'm not saying I agree with any of these lyrics, because that would just get me into trouble, but here are a few characteristics that Anka seems to find attractive:


she always knows her place.
She's got style, she's got grace,

The "style" and "grace" are still OK, but "knows her place" is probably not going to go over very well.


Always something nice to say...
I can leave her on her own...and there's no messing.

I don't know if that is still appropriate or not.

Here's another that may not go over well either:


she never asks for very much

And this is probably the last quality that won't work:


She can take what I dish out

[cafolini]

LOL
do not lucrezia portrait bare a resemblance with la madonna?
femme fatale and all. sounds rather more like a fatal blow. Three marriages and stacks of affairs. Very busy for someone to be the daughter of a pope.

When you throw Rodrigo and Cesare into the picture, "Porca miseria, per la madonna."
And then there is Lucretia's sighting: He gave me a rose and a beautiful ring, and spoke to me about love. Since then, he took for himself a big part of me.

Then there is the terminal cancer complain to Mother Teresa: Mother please tell Jesus not to hug me so hard. It hurts.

[cacian]

Hey YesNo thank you so much for translating. It is lovely.
In some places the lyrics are mean but that is the humour in comedy I guess. ;)

[cacian]

When you throw Rodrigo and Cesare into the picture, "Porca miseria, per la madonna."
And then there is Lucretia's sighting: He gave me a rose and a beautiful ring, and spoke to me about love. Since then, he took for himself a big part of me.

Then there is the terminal cancer complain to Mother Teresa: Mother please tell Jesus not to hug me so hard. It hurts.
Nice one but not so with cancer and hugging it is truly devastating.

[Helga]

I don't know, I'm not ladylike and I'm not just saying it. I'll be 27 years old in a few days and my mom still keeps telling me what I need to do to be more like a lady, I do think that in her mind you need a man and to get one you need to be more ladylike.

Isn't it just what suits each one, you can be graceful and all that if your look suits you and you carry yourself well. I don't know, why am I trying to answer this?!

[papayahed]

I don't know, I'm not ladylike and I'm not just saying it. I'll be 27 years old in a few days and my mom still keeps telling me what I need to do to be more like a lady, I do think that in her mind you need a man and to get one you need to be more ladylike.

Isn't it just what suits each one, you can be graceful and all that if your look suits you and you carry yourself well. I don't know, why am I trying to answer this?!

Yeah, I'm not sure what ladylike means. I mean I'm a lady so is what I do ladylike? However there are more genteel and graceful women out there than I.

[cacian]

Yeah, I'm not sure what ladylike means. I mean I'm a lady so is what I do ladylike? However there are more genteel and graceful women out there than I.

papayahed i thought you were a man all this time!! sorreeeeeeeeee :)

[Shaman_Raman]

Depends on what generation you choose to agree with. The 21st century woman tries to juggle a full-time job, as a full-time mom, being a social butterfly, but also a tender wife and most important independent and her own woman. If I've over-simplified it, my apologies I'm a man, this is just what I see.

[cacian]

Depends on what generation you choose to agree with. The 21st century woman tries to juggle a full-time job, as a full-time mom, being a social butterfly, but also a tender wife and most important independent and her own woman. If I've over-simplified it, my apologies I'm a man, this is just what I see.

Yep that is a lot on her plate. Imagine the man trying to juggle that too? god help him and I am a woman. I feel truly sorry for the man. There is no understanding there.
I am beginning to think ladylike is a fancy world a fairy tale one. It does not exist anyway we could always discuss the gentlemanlike version of it. I am sure we will get somewhere. ;)

[Shaman_Raman]

Yep that is a lot on her plate. Imagine the man trying to juggle that too? god help him and I am a woman. I feel truly sorry for the man. There is no understanding there.
I am beginning to think ladylike is a fancy world a fairy tale one. It does not exist anyway we could always discuss the gentlemanlike version of it. I am sure we will get somewhere. ;)

Actually, that wouldn't be a bad idea. Granted, the idea of a "lady" I'd say has been much more dynamic than that of the "gentleman". Although since the two in some way depend on each other, every change in the "lady" had probably an impact on the "gentleman", and vice-versa.

[cacian]

Actually, that wouldn't be a bad idea. Granted, the idea of a "lady" I'd say has been much more dynamic than that of the "gentleman". Although since the two in some way depend on each other, every change in the "lady" had probably an impact on the "gentleman", and vice-versa.

Indeed. I would say without a gentleman there is no ladylike please :p. The lady's first but it is the gentleman's leads right?

[Shaman_Raman]

Indeed. I would say without a gentleman there is no ladylike please :p. The lady's first but it is the gentleman's leads right?

Poetically put, I agree. :cheers2: The two are interdependent, thats for sure.

Whether that was intentional or just natural, I can tell Poetry's your religion, Cacian.

[cacian]

Poetically put, I agree. :cheers2: The two are interdependent, thats for sure.

Whether that was intentional or just natural, I can tell Poetry's your religion, Cacian.

Hehe and cheers to that too. Poetry is my religion indeed. How did you know haha?! ;)

[Shaman_Raman]

Lucky guess
though to confess,
No better fun
than is poetry
for the tongue.

[cacian]

Lucky guess
though to confess,
No better fun
than is poetry
for the tongue.

Yes confession makes rations seem plentiful. In fact one confesses the other passes to other side.
so what say you makes a gentleman like as oppose to ladylike? Jane Austen did not press on that very much. She was more how to achieve apperances through reading playing the piano singing duets and parlez vous francais. There was/is no other detailed specifics or criterion on how to be/achieve ladylikes.
I have to admit I have a penchant for the mama/papa bits in her liturgy of words. Nothing beat a bit of french zest to sweeten the ripe. ;)

[Shaman_Raman]

Yes confession makes rations seem plentiful. In fact one confesses the other passes to other side.
so what say you makes a gentleman like as oppose to ladylike? Jane Austen did not press on that very much. She was more how to achieve apperances through reading playing the piano singing duets and parlez vous francais. There was/is no other detailed specifics or criterion on how to be/achieve ladylikes.
I have to admit I have a penchant for the mama/papa bits in her liturgy of words. Nothing beat a bit of french zest to sweeten the ripe. ;)

Well there's a point made here, that actions and hobbies define what is proper behavior. For instance, it might be supposed that a gentleman plays golf (I'm terrible at golf, so not me.) However, this is questionable when the same individual goes to the bars after and gets hammered, then whistles at women. So I think a true gentleman is measured by their conduct towards themselves and others.

[Shaman_Raman]

"The true character of a man is revealed by how he treats those whom he has nothing to gain." Abigail Van Buren.

[Ecurb]

Both “ladylike” and “gentlemently” refer to “genteel” in manners and behavior. In other words, they are very class-conscious terms. Someone who is “ladylike” is “well bred” – in other words, has the manners and training of someone who was born into the gentry. Working for a living is, of course, both unladylike and ungentlemanly (in these terms). Of course the words’ meanings have changed over the centuries, but more than a hint of this snobbery remains attached to them.

[cacian]

Both “ladylike” and “gentlemently” refer to “genteel” in manners and behavior. In other words, they are very class-conscious terms. Someone who is “ladylike” is “well bred” – in other words, has the manners and training of someone who was born into the gentry. Working for a living is, of course, both unladylike and ungentlemanly (in these terms). Of course the words’ meanings have changed over the centuries, but more than a hint of this snobbery remains attached to them.

Interesting you mention the word 'trained' which brings me to my next question. I wonder if one is born with mannerism and consciousness about one's appearances and applications. Or does one need the extra boost of learning to be lady/gentleman like after they have set foot on earth?

[Ecurb]

How would one possibly be “born with mannerism and consciousness about one’s appearances and applications” (whatever that means)? Of course “manners” are learned. “Well bred” is an old-fashioned term, implying that behavior is a matter of “breeding” (like speed in a race horse). People used to assume you were “born” with “class”. Now everyone knows that the manners associated with certain social classes are learned.

[cacian]

How would one possibly be “born with mannerism and consciousness about one’s appearances and applications” (whatever that means)? Of course “manners” are learned. “Well bred” is an old-fashioned term, implying that behavior is a matter of “breeding” (like speed in a race horse). People used to assume you were “born” with “class”. Now everyone knows that the manners associated with certain social classes are learned.

It depends on what one means by class. Attitude is not aptitude it's manners with a certain understanding of how people and things work. Mannerism is I have me to believe inherent from within. One learns to aptitude to be is to to be born with it.

[Whifflingpin]

"Now everyone knows that the manners associated with certain social classes are learned. "

Everyone has always known that, but opinions differ on whether it takes three or seven generations to learn them.

[cacian]

"Now everyone knows that the manners associated with certain social classes are learned. "

Everyone has always known that, but opinions differ on whether it takes three or seven generations to learn them.

I am not sure manners equal class. I think one is mannered poor or rich. I think one is definitely born with attitude I would even venture out and say it is genetic.

[Ecurb]

I have no idea what you are talking about, Cacian. True: manners do not equal class. The former refers to etiquette – polite social behavior. The latter refers to a body of people that have certain characteristics in common: the “working class”, the “aristocracy”, etc. I agree that “one is definitely born”, because if one was not born, one would not be “one”. And, yes, genetics have something to do with birth and human reproduction. Why you are writing all this, on the other hand, is a complete mystery to me.

[cacian]

I have no idea what you are talking about, Cacian. True: manners do not equal class. The former refers to etiquette – polite social behavior. The latter refers to a body of people that have certain characteristics in common: the “working class”, the “aristocracy”, etc. I agree that “one is definitely born”, because if one was not born, one would not be “one”. And, yes, genetics have something to do with birth and human reproduction. Why you are writing all this, on the other hand, is a complete mystery to me.

I am writing all this because I am interested in the human social side of manners and attitude. There seem to be a lack of it.
As the OP suggests no one has so far defined what one means by ladylike.

[Adolescent09]

In these days of transexuality, bisexuality, homosexuality and metrosexuality the word "ladylike" is quite obsolete. I don't know where you live, cacian, (although I do respect your views) but unless you are in a cave darker and bleaker than the innermost realm of an Egyptian tomb you will see ANYWHERE in the world, even in the most conservative countries, that there are many ladies who are not confined to the concocted stricutures of whatever figment of the imagination that "ladylike" behavior conceives in each of our minds, regardless of the fact that the word in and of itself is entirely subjective even if Hollywood is shoving chicken-legged, anorexic, abstinence-abusing women at us to convey the "ideal", "ladylike" image.

[rakhiandedunom]

Ladylike is at BrainyQuote, an extensive collection of quotations by famous authors, celebrities, and newsmakers.

[liza]

I am a ladylike .. :) young but not very young, :) I can be smart but also very naive.. :) I can laugh easily but also cry easily.. :) I can be very sweet but also very mean, :) I can love someone but also hate someone, :) I need to love but also be loved .. :)

[cacian]

I am a ladylike .. :) young but not very young, :) I can be smart but also very naive.. :) I can laugh easily but also cry easily.. :) I can be very sweet but also very mean, :) I can love someone but also hate someone, :) I need to love but also be loved .. :)

Wow there is a lot going on there liza! how do you manage it all? I mean this can be quite exhausting. I have to admit I happily balancing on one feet when it comes to feelings and on two when I need to think. That is me. ;)