Biggus
05-31-2012, 04:07 AM
LOCAL AMENITIES
I’ve just been to the shops
They didn’t impress me at all
But if you’ve seen one shopping centre
You’ve seen a mall
TROUBLESOME YOUTH
Police were called to the kindergarten
And the reason for the request
Was a troublesome three-year-old
Who was resisting a rest
INDUSTRIAL ACCIDENT # 2
Did you hear about the guy?
Who was guillotined and how
His whole left side was cut off
Obviously he's all right now
FAST TRACK
I had to run for the train
And I had my laptop with me
And now it doesn’t work
I must have jogged the memory
POLITICAL IDEOLOGY
In a democracy,
It’s your vote that counts;
Which seems perfectly fair
In feudalism,
It’s your Count that votes.
Did you see what I did there?
SNACK TIME
When he’s making clocks
And hunger beacons
The clock man will
Go back four seconds.
INDUSTRIAL ACCIDENT # 1
One of the guys fell into
The upholstery machine,
He was quickly discovered
And they knew what to do
To get him out the machine
Now he’s fully recovered
PHOTOGRAPHIC MEMORY
He was blessed most verily
With a photographic memory
It was never developed sadly
THE HARDER THEY FALL
A universal truth of worth
On which you can truly depend
If they get too big for the britches
They’ll be exposed in the end
FIRST SIGNS OF AGEING
She looked in the mirror
Then she started to cry
She had seen her first grey hair
And she thought she'd dye
I’ve just been to the shops
They didn’t impress me at all
But if you’ve seen one shopping centre
You’ve seen a mall
TROUBLESOME YOUTH
Police were called to the kindergarten
And the reason for the request
Was a troublesome three-year-old
Who was resisting a rest
INDUSTRIAL ACCIDENT # 2
Did you hear about the guy?
Who was guillotined and how
His whole left side was cut off
Obviously he's all right now
FAST TRACK
I had to run for the train
And I had my laptop with me
And now it doesn’t work
I must have jogged the memory
POLITICAL IDEOLOGY
In a democracy,
It’s your vote that counts;
Which seems perfectly fair
In feudalism,
It’s your Count that votes.
Did you see what I did there?
SNACK TIME
When he’s making clocks
And hunger beacons
The clock man will
Go back four seconds.
INDUSTRIAL ACCIDENT # 1
One of the guys fell into
The upholstery machine,
He was quickly discovered
And they knew what to do
To get him out the machine
Now he’s fully recovered
PHOTOGRAPHIC MEMORY
He was blessed most verily
With a photographic memory
It was never developed sadly
THE HARDER THEY FALL
A universal truth of worth
On which you can truly depend
If they get too big for the britches
They’ll be exposed in the end
FIRST SIGNS OF AGEING
She looked in the mirror
Then she started to cry
She had seen her first grey hair
And she thought she'd dye