Saviour

[Delta40]

I dwelled there too long,
meandering through my derelict mind.
My soul existed in a rusted caravan
where purple purple violets
wilted in my beer glass.
The tv kissed me awake
too many times.
I grieved for what I never had
and lay injured by foetal nostalgia.
My legs went unshaved
as days stretched like pink bubble gum.
Strange how a knock on the door
made me sway side to side like Stevie Wonder.
You told me it was because I was blind.
Blind to breakdowns, divorce and good sex.
Yes, I dwelled there way too long.
Trapped by my own sense of pity,
I believed riding the midnight bus with you
would free me from wistful thoughts
of phantom happinesses.
The kind of dreams I force fed myself
till you my saviour, arrived.

[Twota]

As usual I am too dumb to fully understand the poem, but I really like the lines, specially the gum line. :D

[MystyrMystyry]

Great surrealistic imagery here Delta

I like the


where purple purple violets

especially especially

[MystyrMystyry]

.....

[Delta40]

I rather enjoyed crafting this one.

[hallaig]

I think this is marvellous, too. Good forceful work with a real vitality and immediacy. Your simile about pink bubble gum jars with me, no because it's not elastic but cos it seems to have juvenile and innocent associations out of place here? I would also take the words 'my saviour' out of the last line which would give it greater impact in my opinion.

[Delta40]

Thanks for your feedback hallaig and I'll edit it accordingly. I'll be in scotland next year to track you doon!

[hallaig]

Thanks for your feedback hallaig and I'll edit it accordingly. I'll be in scotland next year to track you doon!

will you really? Where are you going?

[Delta40]

Crief, Falkirk and Inverness

[hallaig]

Sound fine apart frae Falkirk- is it family connections? Of course you'll be missing the top left, best bit of Scotland!

[Delta40]

You got it. A roots thing. My mother was born in Falkirk and my great grandmother is buried in a paupers grave there. I think she deserves some flowers...I'm sure I'm going to miss alot!

[Bar22do]

One that involves directly, as if with urgency!

These,

I grieved for what I never had
and lay injured by foetal nostalgia.

bring us back to Depression.

Wonderful and strong, Delta.

[Delta40]

Oops! I forgot this one. Thanks Bar.