A Consuming Dream

[ShadowsCool]

~ A Consuming Dream ~

Away from civilization
Is a way of tranquility,
As I shift easy
Adrift the stars.

Where a wind drift
Mettle's in a fine dream,
Consuming in me
Its peaceful glow.

To Roam about unleashed
Enduring and free,
Giving all a breath of its
Invigorating air.

[Buh4Bee]

I like the idea of this, but reading it is a clunky experience.

[cl154576]

I agree with jersea - reading it, I was too occupied with making sense of the grammar to fully appreciate the poem.

[Delta40]

I think the first stanza is fine but I did not make sense of the second.

Where A wind drift?
METTLE'S in a fine dream?
Consuming IN me?

The uppercase words are what made it difficult to understand.

[MystyrMystyry]

I didn't find fault with it.

It has a peaceful 'falling asleep' quality, where logical minds eventually drop, and in the slow easy abandonment of awareness for what craziness may follow.

I thought it would benefit from some unusual imagery, but not necessarily