View Full Version : The Field and the Sky
Jack of Hearts
07-16-2011, 01:57 AM
I rode my bike to a field last night,
not a single cloud was asleep in the sky;
vast and washed clean,
the field and sky.
I reached into heaven,
my coarse fingers held it
like fabric soaked in cosmic wine,
and, wringing,
threw my head back,
held my throat open wide.
Delta40
07-16-2011, 09:07 AM
Reminds me of laying flat on my back and losing myself in the universe but you put that extra magic into the image JoH
Jack of Hearts
07-17-2011, 02:10 AM
Thanks for reading, Delta40.
J
Delta40
07-17-2011, 02:11 AM
Lets bumpity bump this one to the top of the list!
hillwalker
07-17-2011, 08:46 AM
I found the 2nd and 3rd stanzas the most intriguing due to the wonderful extended metaphor - which is why I wonder about the opening of the 1st verse. Do we really need to know you rode your bike??
H
Jerrybaldy
07-17-2011, 06:00 PM
Sod it Jack I cannot dislike anything you write
Twota
07-17-2011, 06:05 PM
i really like this :D specially ''like fabric soaked in cosmic wine''
Bar22do
07-17-2011, 06:18 PM
I take it literally, beyond the metaphor (wonderful): an accident, for no reason? intriguing.
Jack of Hearts
07-17-2011, 08:12 PM
Grumpy Grandpa Hill, Whacky Uncle Jerry, Tiny Cousin Twota and Befuddled Godfather Bar, thank you all for putting up with this poet's upchuck.
J
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