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Twota
06-19-2011, 10:27 AM
He killed her - my darling,
now i 've that feeling,
it's too evil and powerful,
seeping into my vessel,
like a hypnotic drug..

It started yesterday,
at home - after her funeral,
I cried myself dry,
replaced my liquids with this drug,
and promised her, revenge..

Today, it took all control,
I can read its thoughts,
I can sense the lust for blood,
I can't stop it - or don't want to,
but, will his death be enough?

MystyrMystyry
06-19-2011, 10:41 AM
Interesting, but hate is the wrong word - hate implies weakness on the part of the hater, and power on the part of the hatee.

Detesting and despising someone are different from hating someone.

Twota
06-19-2011, 01:32 PM
Hmm, you're right , i ll fix it now =D

winterroom
06-19-2011, 04:02 PM
I have to say that I disagree.

I felt that that weakness is expressed in this poem - a surrender to something that is not willed or controllable but is frightening and overwhelming, and in the end corrupting.

Only a few times in my life I have experience hate, and fortunately only briefly. If someone I loved had been killed I just know and fear that such a feeling would be inevitable.

Hugh

Twota
06-19-2011, 04:47 PM
It's true that i felt weakness , but against my feelings not the one i hate , and well if some1 u love was killed and hope it never happens , but as i said you won't stop because ur inner self will be satisfied as well by revenge , you will support your hatred , or that's what i think :/

Jack of Hearts
06-19-2011, 05:11 PM
'Hate' works just fine if you want it to, Twota. A very interesting poem with an overall sense of cohesion.







J

Twota
06-19-2011, 05:21 PM
Thanks jack =D glad you like it =]