Bluehound
04-09-2011, 11:56 AM
I used to be morbidly gripped with the idea that I would die young. I would joke about it at work,
"If I get run over by a bus tomorrow - this green folder has all of the cases I'm working on!''
Every lump, ache or pain was a sign of serious disease. Cancer, heart defects, brain tumours I have had them all - for a few minutes at least, while prodding my self in the bathroom mirror.
But it was only ever half a joke, a part of me always believed that I was destined to leave before my time.
Turns out I was right.
Over and again I would see my self crushed in a freak lorry accident, electrocuted or murdered. I would fantasise about all the people left behind grieving and giving me a good send off.
Well that's not going to happen now.
It's funny, since finding out that the world was going to end I haven't had any morbid thoughts about my untimely death. I know that I will be gone soon and no one will be left to check my green folder.
The world is burning. We are all going to burn with it.
Scientists brought a new mineral back from one of Mars' moons. They called it deimos after the moon they found it on.
Deimos is Greek for "dread ".
The compound is so dense that once lit it will burn forever. It causes no waste, pollution or by-product; instead it turns the molecules around it into a liquid version of itself then burns them to create an eternal, unstoppable fire.
It should have saved us; it was the answer to all of the power and pollution issues suffered by this planet. But there was a flaw in the test reactor, so small it couldn't be measured by any tools they had. But big enough that within a few days of the first test burn, it was breached and eternal fire began assimilating the reactor itself, spreading out from that point , molecule by molecule burning everything in its path - even the air.
Within a few hours the reactor had been completely obliterated, within a day the New Zealand town that it had been housed in was gone, not even a week later and the perpetual fire was crossing borders into the surrounding states. The stunned world watch on as it soon reached the coasts.
My God those people, I keep seeing their faces. The horror of being trapped and knowing there is no where safe from this rolling wall of death.
They hoped the seas might stop it, but it has only slowed the process down. The water is boiling, killing all life within it, while the eternal fire rides on top of the waves like a holy tsunami.
There have been a lot of suicides of course, some people even running wildly into the fire no doubt trying to wrest back a small degree of control in the last moment of their lives.
Meanwhile the churches are flooded with the panic stricken repentant, but I won't go. If there is a God, and I don't rule it out - even now, I am not going to meet him as a hypocrite. He has known my heart longer than I have; he has already decided what to do with me when I die.
But I can't just sit still and wait for this thing to happen.
A few of us are making our way to Mulhacen, a mountain in Spain. According to my big brother John, that should be the last place it hits.
We are lucky and manage to get out of the UK on one of the last boats; people are crowded at the docks. Some running wildly around searching for loved ones or transport. Others are just sat, as though the end of the world has already come for them.
Using abandoned vehicles we manage to get quite close to the mountains. But the roads surrounding it are blocked and we end up hiking the last part.
When we arrive it is the scene of a great pilgrimage. Hundreds of thousands of people are walking towards the biggest peak. My heart almost breaks as I see a mother who is trying to carry both of her exhausted children, despite being dead on her feet herself.
John and I take one child each, whilst some of the others help the woman to stagger on. But there are so many strugglers on the way and we soon realise that we can't help them all.
When we arrive at the base of Mulhacen it has become a camp for all those too weak or ill to continue up the mountain.
As we leave the woman and her children there I feel a part of me start to unravel. I turn and almost begin to run up the slope, as I picture the coming tide that will rip through these tents and the people.
John tries to give me a hug but I pull away, afraid that I might fall down under the weight of it all and never get back up.
"It's too much , it's just too much!'' I say.
It takes us nearly two days to hike up the mountainside.
I cry with relief when I realise we can't see the camp below anymore.
From the very top we notice that the sky is on fire, scorching the horizon on all sides. The end is near.
"From here we can see everything. Every last living thing on earth " I say as we look at the valleys bellow us. I have to fight a wave of vertigo as the enormity of that thought threatens to engulf me and send me spinning over the edge.
John steadies me and gives me a sad smile.
Helplessness has settled on his face permanently now.
We are standing on the mountain surrounded by a lake of fire, and it's beautiful.
Close up, I can see there are shapes and colours swirling, I am mesmerised and I wonder if it's alive.
I am surprised by how quiet it is, there is no roar or crackle. The fire is literally melting everything it touches.
"The air up here will only get thinner as the oxygen burns" John warns us, he squeezes my hand as he says it.
"You may start to hallucinate" he adds and in his eyes I can see that's become his last hope.
We join a large circle of strangers holding hands. It has become eerily serene. We are all facing inwards trying not to look at the fire as it climbs. Everything feels faint and unreal as I begin to get light-headed .
Now there is noise.
Some body is screaming about people on fire running towards us.
But as I start to lose consciousness I see them as something else.
I see them as angels.
At the end of the world there are angels and the angels are coming for me.
"If I get run over by a bus tomorrow - this green folder has all of the cases I'm working on!''
Every lump, ache or pain was a sign of serious disease. Cancer, heart defects, brain tumours I have had them all - for a few minutes at least, while prodding my self in the bathroom mirror.
But it was only ever half a joke, a part of me always believed that I was destined to leave before my time.
Turns out I was right.
Over and again I would see my self crushed in a freak lorry accident, electrocuted or murdered. I would fantasise about all the people left behind grieving and giving me a good send off.
Well that's not going to happen now.
It's funny, since finding out that the world was going to end I haven't had any morbid thoughts about my untimely death. I know that I will be gone soon and no one will be left to check my green folder.
The world is burning. We are all going to burn with it.
Scientists brought a new mineral back from one of Mars' moons. They called it deimos after the moon they found it on.
Deimos is Greek for "dread ".
The compound is so dense that once lit it will burn forever. It causes no waste, pollution or by-product; instead it turns the molecules around it into a liquid version of itself then burns them to create an eternal, unstoppable fire.
It should have saved us; it was the answer to all of the power and pollution issues suffered by this planet. But there was a flaw in the test reactor, so small it couldn't be measured by any tools they had. But big enough that within a few days of the first test burn, it was breached and eternal fire began assimilating the reactor itself, spreading out from that point , molecule by molecule burning everything in its path - even the air.
Within a few hours the reactor had been completely obliterated, within a day the New Zealand town that it had been housed in was gone, not even a week later and the perpetual fire was crossing borders into the surrounding states. The stunned world watch on as it soon reached the coasts.
My God those people, I keep seeing their faces. The horror of being trapped and knowing there is no where safe from this rolling wall of death.
They hoped the seas might stop it, but it has only slowed the process down. The water is boiling, killing all life within it, while the eternal fire rides on top of the waves like a holy tsunami.
There have been a lot of suicides of course, some people even running wildly into the fire no doubt trying to wrest back a small degree of control in the last moment of their lives.
Meanwhile the churches are flooded with the panic stricken repentant, but I won't go. If there is a God, and I don't rule it out - even now, I am not going to meet him as a hypocrite. He has known my heart longer than I have; he has already decided what to do with me when I die.
But I can't just sit still and wait for this thing to happen.
A few of us are making our way to Mulhacen, a mountain in Spain. According to my big brother John, that should be the last place it hits.
We are lucky and manage to get out of the UK on one of the last boats; people are crowded at the docks. Some running wildly around searching for loved ones or transport. Others are just sat, as though the end of the world has already come for them.
Using abandoned vehicles we manage to get quite close to the mountains. But the roads surrounding it are blocked and we end up hiking the last part.
When we arrive it is the scene of a great pilgrimage. Hundreds of thousands of people are walking towards the biggest peak. My heart almost breaks as I see a mother who is trying to carry both of her exhausted children, despite being dead on her feet herself.
John and I take one child each, whilst some of the others help the woman to stagger on. But there are so many strugglers on the way and we soon realise that we can't help them all.
When we arrive at the base of Mulhacen it has become a camp for all those too weak or ill to continue up the mountain.
As we leave the woman and her children there I feel a part of me start to unravel. I turn and almost begin to run up the slope, as I picture the coming tide that will rip through these tents and the people.
John tries to give me a hug but I pull away, afraid that I might fall down under the weight of it all and never get back up.
"It's too much , it's just too much!'' I say.
It takes us nearly two days to hike up the mountainside.
I cry with relief when I realise we can't see the camp below anymore.
From the very top we notice that the sky is on fire, scorching the horizon on all sides. The end is near.
"From here we can see everything. Every last living thing on earth " I say as we look at the valleys bellow us. I have to fight a wave of vertigo as the enormity of that thought threatens to engulf me and send me spinning over the edge.
John steadies me and gives me a sad smile.
Helplessness has settled on his face permanently now.
We are standing on the mountain surrounded by a lake of fire, and it's beautiful.
Close up, I can see there are shapes and colours swirling, I am mesmerised and I wonder if it's alive.
I am surprised by how quiet it is, there is no roar or crackle. The fire is literally melting everything it touches.
"The air up here will only get thinner as the oxygen burns" John warns us, he squeezes my hand as he says it.
"You may start to hallucinate" he adds and in his eyes I can see that's become his last hope.
We join a large circle of strangers holding hands. It has become eerily serene. We are all facing inwards trying not to look at the fire as it climbs. Everything feels faint and unreal as I begin to get light-headed .
Now there is noise.
Some body is screaming about people on fire running towards us.
But as I start to lose consciousness I see them as something else.
I see them as angels.
At the end of the world there are angels and the angels are coming for me.