give me your pain

[love-long-gone]

Some call me a God, others call me his son, some call me a prophet, others call me the one, some say I'm a man, others say I'm a murderer, some people are fans, others say I'm their conqueror, some people hate me, others don't care, some people love me, in the end they'll be spared, I came to take this pitiful world and burn it to the depths of hell, rip it apart and all evil from it shall be expelled, I'll take the worlds pain and endure it myself tear out my feeling and keep it all shelved, there will be no more anger, no pain, no death, just give it to me I'll hurt for you, I'll breathe my last breath, I'll tear out my guts and rip out my spirit just so you wont have to hear it, I'll die for the world, because I don't want to live, but I'll make this place better on my way to the grave


~LJC~

[YesNo]

I can hear the rhythm of this and where the line breaks would have gone. I'm glad, actually, that you did not put them in.

[love-long-gone]

Thank you YesNo, I tend not to ever put line breaks in, I find them unsightly.

[Delta40]

You may need to consider the readers preference over your own. I find it difficult to enjoy your poetry due to its format. I don't know how other readers feel but I think poetry loses its effect when posted as if they were wayward statements and nothing more.

only my view of course

[love-long-gone]

I'm sorry, it's just the way I write, it has been since I was a little kid and I figure if it's worked for me this far I'm not gonna change it. but thank you for your input.