If I were a ______, what would you be?

[lilimarlene]

(Waves crash softly) against the shore......(Kafka on the Shore)

if I were a good idea, you would be?

[tonywalt]

Your vulture capitalist - I mean venture capitalist - don't worry;) you would get a certain percentage somewhere in the fine print:smile5:

If I were Norwegian wood you would be...?

[lilimarlene]

your author, Haruki Murakami


if I were lonely, yearning, looking to others to satisfy me, yet I was isolating myself, you would be?

[tonywalt]

http://thmg.photobucket.com/albums/0903/FelberMun/th_hug.jpg

(Figure hugging guninea pig)

If I were to run out of Aces you would be?

[BienvenuJDC]

Lucky!!

If I were a library, you would be?

[Buh4Bee]

Reading by the window.

I f I were a chime blowing in the breeze, you'd be...

[BienvenuJDC]

Music

If I were an alien alone on earth with all you earthlings, then you'd be?

[aliengirl]

Your spaceship. A sleek, shiny, and strong piece of hi-tech machinery in shades of blue and grey.

If I were a fairy creature what would you be?

[tonywalt]

A Disney producer.

If I were a boat sailing into the horizon you would be?

[lilimarlene]

Byzantium

If I were the best time of the year, you would be ?

[Buh4Bee]

Trashed.

If I was a lie, you would be...

[lilimarlene]

the truth

If I was witnessing someone here obviously taking things too seriously, you would be?

[Buh4Bee]

playing a game.

If I were a hyjacker, you'd be...

[lilimarlene]

the air marshal

If I were moving on to greener pastures, you would be?

[Buh4Bee]

Rolling my eyes.

If I were a trunk, you be...

[tonywalt]

i'd be the guy who gets stabbed while being stashed in the trunk (goodfellas).

If I were a lie detector would you take the test?-any secrets?

[lilimarlene]

Sure but everyone has secrets
Same Q

[tonywalt]

I'd take it, nothing to hide at the moment.

If you were starving artist what would you eat mostly?

[BienvenuJDC]

Fish

If I were Curious George, who (what) would you be?

[Buh4Bee]

The man in the yellow coat reminding you to be careful.

If I were a cold fish, you would be...

[tonywalt]

A fish cardigan.

If I were a policeman searching your house what are the chances you might kind of hide something?

[lilimarlene]

I have nothing illegal to hide from the police in my house, so officer, come on in and take a look.

same Q

[tonywalt]

Of course not.

If you were a starving artist what budget food would you mostly eat? (i know same question)

[lilimarlene]

pasta

sameQ (you obviously like this Q;)

[tonywalt]

Mac and cheese(but that was East Africa)-number one for lonely planet people i met in hostels, for what it's worth.

If I could get you something from the other side of the Atlantic what would that thing be?

[lilimarlene]

In Paris some flimsy undergarments from Chantal Thomass, a croissant from Pâtisserie Boulangerie Blé Sucré. In London a tin of tea from Fortnum & Mason's and Lime Basil and Mandarin soap and candle from Jo Malone, that's for a start.:smile5:

If a were your favourite city, what would you be?

[tonywalt]

Georgetown (it's a city-technically)- I woud live in London if it were in the Caribbean-too cold for an island boy. I tried though, but sky is low there.

If I were a spiderweb what would you be?

[lilimarlene]

the spider

if i were your worst experience, what would you be?

[BienvenuJDC]

Looking on the brightside

If I were a spray of water, what would you be?

[aliengirl]

The girl spraying it on everyone. :D

If I were a missing idea, what would you be?

[Maximilianus]

The one asking where you saw yourself the last time :p

If I were Jiminy Cricket, what would you be?

[Buh4Bee]

A shoulder.

If I were a dog house, you would be?

[BienvenuJDC]

Snoopy shooting down the Red Baron

If I were Charlie Brown, who would you be?

[lilimarlene]

Little Red-Haired Girl

If I were a blank sheet of paper, what would you be?

[BienvenuJDC]

Crayons

If I were lonely, what would you be?

[lilimarlene]

I would be sympathetic and tell you that you are not alone and give you a :grouphug:

If I were a lazy Saturday afternoon, you would be?

[Paulclem]

The Times and a cocktail.

If I were a precipice, what would you be?

[tonywalt]

I would just be standing on the edge and i would have to catch everybody if they start to go over the cliff - I mean if they're running and they don't look where they're going I have to come out from somewhere and catch them. That's all I'd do all day. I'd just be the catcher in the rye and all.

If I were a boat what sort place would you want to stop?

[BienvenuJDC]

Neverland

If I were daring, what would you be daring me to do?

[lilimarlene]

[QUOTE=Paulclem;1172282]The Times and a cocktail.
( :yesnod: that sounds just about perfect!)

to fulfill your dreams and live your life on your terms

If I were hanging by a thread, you would be?

[BienvenuJDC]

A needle

If I were writing a book, what would you be?

[lilimarlene]

the protagonist

if I were your favourite magazine, what would you be?

[BienvenuJDC]

non-existent

If I were your favorite toy, what would you be playing with me?

[Buh4Bee]

Vibrate the cat


If I were your little black box, you would be...

[tonywalt]

A Boeing 777 flying to an exotic locale.

If i were a ticket what destination outside your own country would you have on it?

[lilimarlene]

(who would choose their own country!!!!????)since it's springtime in SA, i would go to Buenos Aires drink some nice Argentine wine and learn to tango

same Q

[BienvenuJDC]

The Philippines

If I were a time machine when would you take me to?

[aliengirl]

To a certain time lost in mist when a father used to sing to his little daughter at bed time.

If I were a folk song, what would you be?

[Hawkman]

A troubadour.

If I were a pilot what would you be?

[tonywalt]

Blowin (in the wind).

If I were a rainy windy day you would be?

[Hawkman]

Stuck on the M5 in a tailback, probably.

If I was a balrog what would you be?

[Buh4Bee]

a dragon.

If I were a crab, what would you be?

[Hawkman]

Hot water.

If I were Achilles... ?

[Silas Thorne]

Odysseus, of course. We're on the same side, right? :)

If I were a thorn, what would you be?

[Hawkman]

Joseph of Arimathea :D

If I were a Druid...?

[aliengirl]

The patron goddess of your cult.

If I were a fairy tale, what would you be?

[tonywalt]

A Prince:yesnod: or maybe a superhero, or sumpin like that.

If I were a jet plane waiting to take off, what would you be?

[Hawkman]

Air traffic control.

If I were Rome what would you be?

[Buh4Bee]

The rest of the empire.

If I were a bridal gown, what would you be?

[Hawkman]

Worried, as I'm not in the habit of conversing with bridal gowns :D

If I were a trawler?

[BienvenuJDC]

I would be a passing vessel with square rigged sails.

If I were the above vessel, what would you be?

[Hawkman]

I'd be taking pictures.

If I were a satelite?

[Buh4Bee]

The Earth.

If I were a bad poem :yikes:, you be?

[BienvenuJDC]

Surprised...

If I were looking, you'd be?

[Buh4Bee]

:seeya:

If I were a pair of shoes, you'd be...

[tonywalt]

Smell socks.

If I were a punching bag you would be?

[aliengirl]

A shield.

If I were a sword, what would you be?

[Hawkman]

A pen :D

If I were a blacksmith...?

[Buh4Bee]

A forge.

If I were a blade of grass, you'd be...?

[BienvenuJDC]

Making a whistle

If I were a hopeless romantic, you'd be?

[Buh4Bee]

one of these:
http://www.consumer-rankings.com/dating/

If I were a flash light, you'd be...?

[tonywalt]

A power outage.

If I were a rolling stone what would you be?

[lilimarlene]

..gathering no moss.

if I were a glimmer of hope, you would be?

[BienvenuJDC]

A mirror to double the glimmer...

If I were a secret, what would you be?

[Beautifull]

A listening ear!

If I were a pair of warm gloves, what would you be?

[tonywalt]

A snowboarder.

If I were a little bitty boy and my Grandmother bought me a little toy - what would you be?

[lilimarlene]

http://www.disparate.net/wp-content/uploads/folk-art-rocking-horses-in-vintage-photos.jpg
or maybe this
http://www.bugeyedmonster.com/toys/smdm/smdm/smdm/steveboxedlarge.jpg

If I were your favourite Christmas present, what would you be?

[Hawkman]

Carefully removing the wrapping :D

If I were a pilchard?

[CaptainHatteras]

A fisherman.

If I were one of the gods, what would you be?

[Buh4Bee]

The one and only God.

If I were in need, what would you be ?

[tonywalt]

The thing you need.

If I were a mirror what would you be?

[lilimarlene]

I would be me admiring myself ;)

If I were able to read between the lines, what would you be?

[Hawkman]

-----------------------------
-----------------------------

The answer is in there somewhere...

If I were Josey Wales...?

[tonywalt]

A mountaineer.

If I were rolling thunder what would you be?

[aliengirl]

A flash of lightning.

If I were a ship, what would you be?

[Maximilianus]

Maybe some flotsam and jetsam waving hello on your starboard while you perform evasive maneuvers
http://smilys.net/fahrzeug_smilies/smiley3812.gif
:)


If I were the Atlantic sea, what would you be?

[tonywalt]

Port (both safe harbour and also the fortified wine)

If I were a lottery ticket you would be?

[aliengirl]

The lucky winner. :D

If I were a humming bird, what would you be?

[tonywalt]

A birdwatcher.

If I were a approaching storm what would you be?

[Hawkman]

Hopefully, waterproof.

If I were a graven image what would you be?

[Buh4Bee]

Scolding your worshippers. LOL!

If I were a camera, you would be...

[BienvenuJDC]

Captured on film

If I were a tune, you would be?

[Madhuri]

A melodious song.

If I were a fragrance, you would be?

[tonywalt]

Sneezing. (Just make it light:)

If I were a punching bag you would be?

[lilimarlene]

I would be the one with the dainty boxing gloves jabbing you! (cardio boxing class)

If I were your most favourite memory, you would be?

[tonywalt]

On the beach..another person....couple of dogs..... sun setting..slight ocean breeze.....wine..chatting...laughing...content.... ....... planning happy things.......this will last Forever...................

What is your strongest memory?

[Madhuri]

Your grand-daughter :p

If I were the colour yellow, you would be?

Oops! Wrong post...

Strongest memories are the not-so-good ones. Though, I have good memories of the time when my grandmother was alive.

If I were the colour yellow, you would be?

[tonywalt]

A drug test.

I was wondering why you brought my grandmother into it:p

If I were a police entering your home what would you do before?

[lilimarlene]

call my lawyer

If I the police finished searching your home, you would be?

[Madhuri]

The missing clue, that, as always, the police fails to uncover. ;)

If I were the missing clue, you would be?

[aliengirl]

The great Hercule Poirot ;)

If I were a chrysanthemum, what would you be?

[aliengirl]

............

[tonywalt]

Make chrysanthemum tea (do not worry, you might not feel a thing)

If I were the future what would you be?

[BienvenuJDC]

Hope

If I were down, what would you be?

[Buh4Bee]

a hot air balloon.

If I were an abacus, what would you be?

[tonywalt]

A calculator.

If I were a No Parking Sign what would you be?

[lilimarlene]

oblivious to you.

If I were a free day off, you would be?

[tonywalt]

The guy who calls you into work/school/other.

If I was a joker, and an herbal smoker, and a midnight toker -what would you be?

[lilimarlene]

I`d be the cutest thing that you ever did see, you`d really love my peaches, and you`d want to shake my tree....

if I were looking at the slow autumn through my window, what would you be?

[tonywalt]

On a ladder to your window.

If I were a unarmed burgler what weapon would you use? (please, nothing more than a spatchla(sic)

[lilimarlene]

sorry I `m going to need something stronger than a spatula as I am a solitary female, so I`d either spray you with some dog/bear repellant (pepper spray) or I`d start swinging a golf club (I`m taking lessons)

If I were your newly hired co-worker that just so happened to be your sworn enemy, you would be?

[tonywalt]

I wouldn't likely be enemies with a girl (but a guy, i would have blocked the hire if not then, uum,...god, i've had to learn to be nasty).

If I were tired from not sleeping again what would you recommend?

[lilimarlene]

try going to bed earlier, talk to someone about what is bothering you (something is on your mind)or try meditation. If that doesn`t work, drugs are the answer , at least temporily.

If I were a cool new app for your phone, what would you be?

[tonywalt]

A gramophone.

If I were a rambunctious screaming kid with no supervision what would you be?

[lilimarlene]

I would take you in my arms and make it all better. If that didn`t work I would give you a good spanking!

If the day was perfect, what would you be?

[tonywalt]

A train spotter (re: perfect day sub re: lou reed sub sub re: trainspotting (movie)

If I were the cool blue mountains of Jamaica with acres of Herb, what would you be?

[lilimarlene]

A train spotter (re: perfect day sub re: lou reed sub sub re: trainspotting (movie)

If I were the cool blue mountains of Jamaica with acres of Herb, what would you be?
(....You're going to reap just what you sow)

a natural mystic blowing through the air....

If you were able to change your sex for a week, would you do it?

[tonywalt]

I might, as long as their is no chopping involved.

same question

[lilimarlene]

Sure it would be interesting to be a man for a week.I would gain a whole new perspective.

If you were able to correct sometime you had done wrong by apologizing would you? ( A Lot of men have trouble with that)

[tonywalt]

I would, I'm good that way.

If you could change one 'inherent' thing about the opposite sex, what would it be?

[lilimarlene]

To be more in touch with their emotions and to show them more .

Same question

[tonywalt]

To be more logical and show that more(giggle giggle)

If you could give up one technology used daily, what would it be?

[lilimarlene]

That's funny because my long term ex hated the fact I sounded logical.There are lots of logical woman.The problem with you is you're probably dating too many bimbos . :goof:

I could gladly give up my alarm clock.
Same question

[tonywalt]

Girl logical- which is different.

Also my alarm clock. (no one should get up before their "Natural Wake Up Time")

If you had one computer device that you could live without what would it be?

[lilimarlene]

(Girl logical- which is different. We (women)are not all the same as not all men are the same. If you all operated with the same logic, how come there are so many conflicts in the world?)


web cam
how about you?

[tonywalt]

The floppy disks that i get from a client (who still used lotus 123 spreadsheets by the way).

If someone broke the rules at school, were you the tattler?

[lilimarlene]

no

if I were your worst date ever, what would you be?

[tonywalt]

I would just tell you nicely, "don't worry about the toilet, it ALWAYS clogs up, no big deal, put the plunger down and here is a nice glass of wine".

If I said during the date "thank's much for this fabulous and very expensive dinner"?-what would you say?

[lilimarlene]

I think you have me confused with someone else.

If I were queen of the world, what would you be?

[tonywalt]

A worker bee.

If I were a worker bee, would you be a Snobby queen bee hanging out with the bee elite?

[lilimarlene]

I'm afraid so, and we would be drinking champagne while watching you work away...

If I was a whole pile of money, you would be?

[tonywalt]

Your secured creditor (of a certain kind) otherwise known as Tony "Il Collettore" *Ginocchia Dolorose.

If I was the town criar what would you be?

[lilimarlene]

I'd be your handbell

if I were a text message you wish you could send, you would be?

[Buh4Bee]

offering you a phone number-

(In fact, I have that number you may want- just give me a call.) LOL!

If I were just passing through, you be...

[lilimarlene]

offering you a phone number-

(In fact, I have that number you may want- just give me a call.) LOL!
(mmmmn very doubtful, I have all the numbers of everyone I need to contact, thanks tho...)



If I were just passing through, you be...

waving :wave:

If I were the splendid, silent sun with all her beams full-dazzling, you would be....

[tonywalt]

SPF70 with 'no tears' formula.

If I were a bee buzzing around stinging people while they were peacefully laying poolside you would...

[lilimarlene]

be the bee keeper just about to capture you to add you to my hive.

If I were a crazed walmart shopper just about to taze you cause I really really wanted that $4.99 cheap polyester made in china aqua towel, you would be?

[tonywalt]

I'd be another crazed shopper, soaking drunk on "Sam Waltons Good ole Arkansan home style wine"*** whacking you with my Pink Flamingo lawn stakes

***ONLY $7.99 FOR A SUPER SIZE CHUG O' WUG BOX OF Sam Waltons Good ole Arkansan home style wine(which, if I'm not mistaken is actually a strawberry slurpy with a wallop of Walmart vodka).

If I was interviewing you and I drawled, "Congratulations Lili, you got the job. We will fly your out tonight to lovely Bentonville, Arkansas to your new job as Vice President, Director of Walmart Greeters Training College (which is right next to the Walmart Culinary School) - and just as an added treat it's Chilli Dog Festival Week down there in Bentonville (It goes on for 7 days and nights of Chilli Dogs-think about the ramifications of That) you would..

[lilimarlene]

("whacking you with my Pink Flamingo lawn stakes" ....naaaah, I don't think so, you'd be twitching on the ground after I tazed you)

....have died and gone to trailer park heaven! yee haw!

if I were someone that believed everything I was told, you would be?

[tonywalt]

Telling you some stuff....

If I were a pill that made you fee ____(fill in) what would you be?

[lilimarlene]

[QUOTE=tonywalt;1187609]Telling you some stuff....

(I believe you already are!:nod:)

more detached....so therefore I would be more detached:wink5:

same question

[tonywalt]

[QUOTE=lilimarlene;1187607]("whacking you with my Pink Flamingo lawn stakes" ....naaaah, I don't think so, you'd be twitching on the ground after I tazed you)

You've obviously never tazed someone who just drank A SUPER SIZE CHUG O' WUG BOX OF Sam Waltons Good ole Arkansan home style wine (which actually outsells Red Bull in south Pugsville, Arkansas) "It plucks your wings"

[lilimarlene]

[QUOTE=lilimarlene;1187607]("whacking you with my Pink Flamingo lawn stakes" ....naaaah, I don't think so, you'd be twitching on the ground after I tazed you)

You've obviously never tazed someone who just drank A SUPER SIZE CHUG O' WUG BOX OF Sam Waltons Good ole Arkansan home style wine (which actually outsells Red Bull in south Pugsville, Arkansas) "It plucks your wings"

I'd be happy to try it out on you if you'd be willing.

.....now answer the question like a good boy.:)

[tonywalt]

A chill pill - never had one!

If I were Santa coming down the chimney you would be?

[lilimarlene]

...under the Christmas tree waiting for my present (but Santa, I was a naughty girl!)

If I were buying a present for someone that is drunk more often than not, you would be?

[lilimarlene]

[QUOTE=tonywalt;1187617]A chill pill - never had one!
(maybe not a pill but maybe a little herbal remedy, you know something holistic)

[tonywalt]

An Intervention organizer (Now that would be a surprise coming down on Christmas Morning!- lol-priceless)

(Oh Santa knows about your naughtiness - hell, he has the video{what are you doing with those elves?!?!} ready to upload it)

If I were two other pills to be taken with Detachment pill what would they be?

[lilimarlene]

(guilty as charged....well in that case I'm sure Santa will have a very nice present for me....)
instant wealth and physical perfection! (yes I can be shallow too)

and you?

[tonywalt]

hhmm, two more pills

A pill that give me the balls to the drive thru and repeately say "this is to go" also I really wish to be the one he finds the real Waldo!

If i were a resolution for the new year what would you want it to be?

[lilimarlene]

I will be less laz

same question

[tonywalt]

you mean lazy, right?

I will try hard to not dance around madly when I hear my favourite new song.

If I were ET and I had got drunkenly lost and lost my iphone what would you be?

[lilimarlene]

you mean lazy, right? (yeah , sorry I was too lazy to finish the senten)

I will try hard to not dance around madly when I hear my favourite new song. (which is?)

If I were ET and I had got drunkenly lost and lost my iphone what would you be?
well ET, I would be the one taking you home.

If I were the last person that made you really really angry, etc etc...

[tonywalt]

I would stop, mid frowny face,....., and then......, "Alwaaays loook on the briiiight siide of life, tado tado, tado tado tado........

If I was a gun in a holster you would......

[lilimarlene]

lock and loaded

(and speaking of guns) if my heart be scarred and burned, you would?

[tonywalt]

I would sing in a rousing rendition of "I am Woman hear me Roar" !

If I were a microphone in a in front of a large audience...waiting...what would you be doing?

[lilimarlene]

gulping down some valium with sake and preparing to sing, Un bel Di Vedremo.


if i were like a diamond in the sky, you would....

[tonywalt]

calling you, you answer quite slowly with kaleidescope eyes

If i were a an ipod playing away, what would you be

[lilimarlene]

I'd be dancing in the moonlight....

If I were to wander lonely as a cloud.....

[tonywalt]

I'd probably say, "let us go you and I while evening is spread against the sky- and play paint ball or sumpin"

If I were a dvd playing...

[lilimarlene]

I"d be.....Nanook of the North

if I were a crime you could get away with......

[tonywalt]

I'd be jaywalking all over the place...really sticking it to the Establishment

If I were a invisible water gun you would...

[Buh4Bee]

not see you.

If I were a gum drop, you would...

[tonywalt]

I would have to eat you, but to be honest I REALLY LOVE Gummy Bears, or Gummy Worms(I love browsing the Gummy section of the store)

If I were an ATM card which no one could trace and usable everywhere you would...

[lilimarlene]

What do you think? I'd head to all the atm machines I could and take out as much money as I could then go on a bit of a shopping spree before I headed to the airport.

Same question

[tonywalt]

Same thing minus the shopping spree - then on to Italy by boat me thinks

If I was a bb gun assassin (painful, but very humane) how many people hits would you have me do for you?

[lilimarlene]

Seriously can't think of a single person at the moment as I tend to deal with my own hits as the need arises.

Same question.

[tonywalt]

I'm a BB gun assassin:crazy: confidentiality is our middle name.

If I were a present wrapped up with your name on it would you peak?

[Buh4Bee]

Yes!

If I were a vacuum, you would...

[tonywalt]

I would sell it on ECAY.

If I were a pampered weekend at an exclusive spa you would..

[lilimarlene]

.... feel pretty, Oh so pretty, I'd feel pretty and witty and bright.

If I were a poem, what would you be?

[tonywalt]

Lord Byron in my Venetian digs with a bottle of wine and...(whatever cool stuff he had or did)

If I were a yacht in the Adriatic sea you would be...

[lilimarlene]

on it, heading to see(sea!) Lord Bryon...

If I were a deserted island, what would you be?

[tonywalt]

A cool azure lagoon

If I were an impending storm what would storm?

[Beautifull]

Impending stuff, I guess. XD

If I were a smartphone, what would you be?

[Bleeding Pawn]

rotary phone.

If I were a celebrity, would you fan-worship me? :)

[Beautifull]

Depends on where you're a celebrity. XD Movie? Singer? Then it would be based on if I like that stuff. XD Lol. (I'm not really a big fan of a lot of people...except my sister. XD)

If I were an author of thriller fiction, would be a reader?

[Bleeding Pawn]

Thrillers doesn`t excite me nowadays, they are all the same, hiding the plot line at the beginning and then weighing down the mental capacity of the reader by divulging "loaded" secrets in the end but, if you thought about writing a non fiction thriller, I would give it a try.

If I would float a poverty campaign would you sponsor it?