Biggus
06-02-2010, 05:28 AM
DRINKING FROM THE UGLY POND
Alcohol was originally invented
So ugly people could have sex too
Because viewed thru beer goggles
Everyone looks beautiful to you
It also serves to add some variety
To the beautiful peoples gene pool
SHE WHO MUST BE
When first we met I thought of her
She who must be an angel
When we were married she became
She who must be obeyed
Now we are divorced she has become
She who must be despised
WOW YOU SMELL GREAT!
“Wow you smell great! what do you have on”?
The young woman asked in her opening gambit
“Well honey” He replied “I actually have a hard on
But I had no idea at all that you could smell it”
SHEEPISH
A man walked into his bedroom
Where his wife was preparing for sleep
And stood in the doorway
Holding a leash attached to a sheep
“Sweetheart when you have a headache
This is the cow I make love to”
The wife looked at him with utter contempt
Then took his silence as her cue
Saying ”If you weren't such a numbskull,
You’d know that's not a cow it’s a yew
He replied "If you weren't so conceited
You’d realise I wasn’t talking to you”
MULTITASKING MAIDENS
Women are supposedly very good at multitasking
Men are not, which allegedly is our biggest crime
But if women are truly capable of multitasking
Why can’t they have a headache and sex at the same time?
BINGO, BANGO, BONGO
I will call up my Dolly
To be alone would be folly
Perhaps I’ll call Holly
But should I call Polly
Or little miss Molly
To call all might be a folly
But an interesting volley
What a prospect by golly
Alcohol was originally invented
So ugly people could have sex too
Because viewed thru beer goggles
Everyone looks beautiful to you
It also serves to add some variety
To the beautiful peoples gene pool
SHE WHO MUST BE
When first we met I thought of her
She who must be an angel
When we were married she became
She who must be obeyed
Now we are divorced she has become
She who must be despised
WOW YOU SMELL GREAT!
“Wow you smell great! what do you have on”?
The young woman asked in her opening gambit
“Well honey” He replied “I actually have a hard on
But I had no idea at all that you could smell it”
SHEEPISH
A man walked into his bedroom
Where his wife was preparing for sleep
And stood in the doorway
Holding a leash attached to a sheep
“Sweetheart when you have a headache
This is the cow I make love to”
The wife looked at him with utter contempt
Then took his silence as her cue
Saying ”If you weren't such a numbskull,
You’d know that's not a cow it’s a yew
He replied "If you weren't so conceited
You’d realise I wasn’t talking to you”
MULTITASKING MAIDENS
Women are supposedly very good at multitasking
Men are not, which allegedly is our biggest crime
But if women are truly capable of multitasking
Why can’t they have a headache and sex at the same time?
BINGO, BANGO, BONGO
I will call up my Dolly
To be alone would be folly
Perhaps I’ll call Holly
But should I call Polly
Or little miss Molly
To call all might be a folly
But an interesting volley
What a prospect by golly