The Miraculous Pen

[Zach atteberry]

The pen writes about abhorrent plights
It etches our benevolent delights,
The pen writes of the sky that’s blue –
Or when the clock struck our due!

It writes how we traveled from Europe to France
And how the deer would fervently prance!
Quickly it tells of our beloved cats –
Or when she came home with many rats!

The pen that has laid soldiers for dead –
Has filled us with mournful dread
The pen that has given us life –
Has given us the gift of strife!

The pen has gave us solace from angels –
Has also delivered agony from devils!
The pen that laid many a plunder –
Has free willingly token its monarch thunder!

The pen has endeavored heaven and hell
Though a page of an old folks tale –
The pen must take its sleep
But do not cry or weep –
Fore tomorrow is another adventure!

[MorpheusSandman]

It's definitely an interesting subject; the old "the pen is mightier than the sword" (although maybe these days it should be the "keyboard is mightier than the sword"). Technically I think the use of couplet rhyming distracts from the piece. As I always say around here if you're going to use rhyme in a rigid form like couplets you have to be keenly aware of meter and rhythm. Rhymes create expectation, expectation is carried by the rhythm of a piece, so when the rhythm/meter is off it's disorienting to a reader. For instance, the opening lines:

The pen writes about abhorrent plights
It etches our benevolent delights,

Scans: -//-//--/ || -/-/-/---/

There's no metrical pattern which inevitably disrupts the rhyme. When rhyming you should probably try to avoid spondees (two subsequent stressed syllables) and 3 straight unstressed syllables; both of which are main culprits in disrupting rhythm.