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[Buh4Bee]

This is the time I start to think about the shore and this is a little nothing I composed.

Untitled

the beach chair
the sea gulls
and The book

Under the brim of my hat
I can snicker at this page
because
You have been in this thought too

Your beams
Brown my skin
And bleach my
sorrowful heart

Wet feet in the sand
You touch me
Because I know you are near me
Where ever I may be

[MGK]

very calm, and yet somehow heartwrenching. a sense of loss, but for me, somehow also disillusionment and sneaking indifference pervade this poem.

far more than a nothing!

[Buh4Bee]

Thanks for the reply, but it's really not that complicated.

[MorpheusSandman]

I like the understatedness of the piece; as MGK said it's quite calming; especially the scene setting of the first stanza. I love the alliterative Bs in the third stanza. I don't think I like that single "because" line. The last stanza is a bit too disjointed IMO going from "wet feet in the sand" (which fits more into the style of the first stanza) and the final three lines are a bit underwhelming I think. I'd recommend working on them a bit.

[MGK]

art is not only the creators intent but also the viewers perception, and i can only be honest about the feeling it evoked in me.

[Alexander III]

I always enjoy the way you are able to end your poems. I particularly liked the final couplet of this one, the way it conveys a sense of peace and tranquility.

[Dinkleberry2010]

Jersea, I am surprised at your reaction to your poem. Why not just explain what you meant? If it is read incorrectly, you need to explain what is meant, as the poem's meaning as ininterpreted currently is controversial and offensive. After all, it is the writer's responsibility to correct any misconceptions the reader may have.