PDA

View Full Version : The Deeps



Kiemain
11-16-2009, 12:13 AM
I was given this account by a friend so I'm hoping I'm doing this right... Comments and criticism are always welcome, but keep 'em nice?
Anyways this is part one only.
__________________________________________________ ___
I sat there in the cage, looking down from where I was being hung.
I was being sold.
The mixed sound of conversation and yelling only made the ringing of sales bells stronger in the free market. The dirt road was littered with consumers and sellers alike; it didn’t help that I wasn’t even being sold. The upper class apparently had no need for a so crudely experimented on kid, and especially not one that was underfed and had fleas all over him. My badly ripped pair of shorts was the only piece of clothing I was wearing, dirty and tattered with splattered blood from the whip stains all over my body. My face was strangely unmarred, with dirt all over my orange and white fur, making my deep green eyes stand out. I held the shock brace on my left arm loosely, knowing even if I was sold, I wasn’t free. Several passed by with interested looks, only to turn away and bid on another, non-tainted slave. I was dirt to everyone because of my animalistic features, very few tainted came to become somewhat equal in society, let alone respected. But I knew that by tomorrow, I would be out of this cage. The price on my head was 8600 mercs, which was pretty high for a slave, save for my being tainted. The one who bid last on me was quite young, seemingly at the age of 15 or so, which was about my age. She sported a dark blue outfit and a slightly worn blue cap. Her Holster held not a sword, but an axe, and her belt buckle was black and dull. Her eyes though were ringed blue on the outside, slowly turning to a strong gray on the inside. I had been sold to a Deeps Ship. I looked at her in the eyes, suddenly thinking it was a mistake; and she smiled at me.

The day could not have gone by any faster. I was to be taken by tomorrow morning, but not after a few whips from my overweight slave master. He bellowed, screaming at me, making my acutely sensitive ears almost bleed, but I ignored them. In fact, I completely forgot he was screaming at me. Nobody had ever smiled to me before, not a real one at least. I smiled a bitter sweet smile. From being whipped and sitting in a cage, to working on a Deeps Ship and being spat and swore at by the crew. The slave master gave up on getting angry at me and retired to his bed.

glover7
11-16-2009, 12:53 PM
I was given this account by a friend so I'm hoping I'm doing this right... Comments and criticism are always welcome, but keep 'em nice?
Anyways this is part one only.
__________________________________________________ ___
I sat there in the cage, looking down from where I was being hung.
I was being sold.
The mixed sound of conversation and yelling only made the ringing of sales bells stronger in the free market. The dirt road was littered with consumers and sellers alike; it didn’t help that I wasn’t even being sold. The upper class apparently had no need for a so crudely experimented on kid, and especially not one that was underfed and had fleas all over him. My badly ripped pair of shorts was the only piece of clothing I was wearing, dirty and tattered with splattered blood from the whip stains all over my body. My face was strangely unmarred, with dirt all over my orange and white fur, making my deep green eyes stand out. I held the shock brace on my left arm loosely, knowing even if I was sold, I wasn’t free. Several passed by with interested looks, only to turn away and bid on another, non-tainted slave. I was dirt to everyone because of my animalistic features, very few tainted came to become somewhat equal in society, let alone respected. But I knew that by tomorrow, I would be out of this cage. The price on my head was 8600 mercs, which was pretty high for a slave, save for my being tainted. The one who bid last on me was quite young, seemingly at the age of 15 or so, which was about my age. She sported a dark blue outfit and a slightly worn blue cap. Her Holster held not a sword, but an axe, and her belt buckle was black and dull. Her eyes though were ringed blue on the outside, slowly turning to a strong gray on the inside. I had been sold to a Deeps Ship. I looked at her in the eyes, suddenly thinking it was a mistake; and she smiled at me.

The day could not have gone by any faster. I was to be taken by tomorrow morning, but not after a few whips from my overweight slave master. He bellowed, screaming at me, making my acutely sensitive ears almost bleed, but I ignored them. In fact, I completely forgot he was screaming at me. Nobody had ever smiled to me before, not a real one at least. I smiled a bitter sweet smile. From being whipped and sitting in a cage, to working on a Deeps Ship and being spat and swore at by the crew. The slave master gave up on getting angry at me and retired to his bed.

In terms of content, it sounds like it could have been any number of video game openers from the mid to late 90's. Tad cliched.