Missing the Point

[apu99992]

I know that some people like to post essay help questions, so I am hoping that someone can answer my thesis question. usually i never have trouble writing essays, but lately I've been told that even though my grammar is excellent, my vocab is good, and my sentence structure is great, my thesis drags my grade down. Basically all of my essays this quarter would have been either A's or 95% (for the ones that are currently A's) if my thesis' weren't completely botched. The irony though is that my latest essay, which I thought was the best one i had written this year, earned me the lowest essay grade I have ever gotten in school. this is why i've decided to come here, to discover how to write a clear concise thesis from all you pros on the forum.

As an example I thought I'd give you the prompt from my latest blunder:

Describe how Lorain Hansberry's play "A raisin in the sun" exemplifies the themes found in MLK's "I have a Dream" speech

This was the thesis I wrote:
Walter Lee reflects Dr King’s reverence of dreams and practice for dealing with racism in his aspirations and reactions.

Yes it's bad, but I only wrote it after writing the two body paragraphs. I essentially compared Walter standing up to linder as "dealing with racism" and Walter's faith in his dreams as "reverance".

I had no idea that the best, and easiest, point to make was that both works of literature were about looking forward for a better tomorrow. For some reason, I though of every other possible idea except this one. I analyzed king's speech, the 14 minute one mind you, and jotted down every point he had to make about African American civil rights. I did the same with a summary of A Raisin in the Sun, and when side by side racism and dreams were the two things that I saw they had in common.

I don't think I'm a bad judge of essay's, because when i see someone else's paper i see all the run-ons, all the misplaced modifiers, all the poor word choice and, most of the time, their lack of support for their thesis.

I just want someone to tell me how to see the main idea when looking at a piece of literature.

[Virgil]

Not an easy thing to explain. I don't know how I do it frankly. I can't explain such a process. Perhaps I (and perhaps all) had similar problem but at some point in my college life it came together, senior, grad school, not really sure. Perhaps if you're taking someone else's idea for a theme, then you don't generate a complex central thesis, and it comes across as simple. If you can formulate your own central thesis, develop the supporting argument, and come to your own conclusions, then your papers might become have more gravitas. Of course, then you take the risk of being wrong. I hope this helps. What level student are? Wish you the best. :)

[Jozanny]

apu: I would have to go back and look at the play, which I am unwilling to do, but yes, it is a very weak thesis statement. Think of King's speech "where man will not be judged by the color of his skin, but the content of his character". Think of how much the United States was two America's in the 1950's, and somewhat beyond, one for whites, one for blacks. Think about the tragedy of this for black men who want to succeed as white men do, then study the play again, and the hope destroyed in it.

Walter Lee doesn't reflect King's reverence of dreams. The play deals with the crushing consequences of American apartheid. You have to dig a little deeper in your study of literature.