The Curse Exchange

[Maryd.]

May the gnomes flick the hook into your eye... (No not really, that's horrible)

[dafydd manton]

Fear not - I have anti-gnome goggles on as we speak!

May all your curses become such that they are all misconstrued, and turn in to compliments.

[Maryd.]

(Thank God, for that)

May your curses back fire.

[dafydd manton]

May your back-fires be thought of gunfire, and you finish up as a weapons instructor in the Army

[Maryd.]

May you be used for the army, as amunition in cannons.

[dafydd manton]

May I be fired in the wrong direction and land on top of your dinner, scattering spaghetti over all the walls in your dining room.

[Astromaxis]

Let me eat your spaghetti and throw it after rumination at you

[dafydd manton]

May the spaghetti repeat, and return you from whence you came.

[Pendragon]

May you walk into your sliding glass doors and look like a total dweeb

[dafydd manton]

May your dweebness (or is it dweebity) be filmed on closed circuit television and the rights sold to NBC, so that it gets shown nightly for ten years

[de Renal]

May you wake up in the morning and find your hair turned into straw

What a great game! I could think of a thousand curses at this very moment! :reddevil:

[dafydd manton]

May the straw that was once your hair become infested with fleas.

[de Renal]

May the fleas that once inhabited your straw, which was once your hair, plunge into your ears and tickle you untill your laughter builds your stomach muscles enough to enable you to apply to a bodybuilding contest and win it!

[dafydd manton]

May the prize for the bodybuilding contest be a week of getting sand kicked in your face.

[de Renal]

May the sand thrown in your face rub the dead cells of your visage skin and make you look like model from a fashion magazine!

[Astromaxis]

May that sand make you so model like that you are overwhelmed by beauty that you stop eating!

[de Renal]

May your stop-eating disorder change the structure of the chromosomes so, instead you lose, you start gaining weight, more and more, and turn into a baloon and fly over the hills and mountains into the orbit, all the way to the moon!

[dafydd manton]

May the moon be cheese (Caerphilly), you eat again, bloat again, float again, and land on Uranus.

[de Renal]

May your colon, loading all that cheese, contribute to Uranus gasses, and sow small pieces of cheese in every crater, all over the planet.

[dafydd manton]

May those pieces fester and enter every pore of your body, before going green and smelly.

[de Renal]

May your green and smelly body turn into a gorgonzola cheese, so you end up on a big, juicy, fat piece of pizza that will be eaten by a fat girl with low self esteem and wide, smelly sphinkter, which will, eventually, be the death of you.

[Maryd.]

(That's the best I've heard so far. Well done)

May you swallow a deseased fly, causing massive bouts of diarrhea, whilst visiting your in-laws for the first time.

[de Renal]

(Thanks Maryd, it' always interesting to read about digestive problems, isn't it :D)

May your diarrhea turn into the fireworks dung,so the wall besides the toilette gets some as well!

[Pendragon]

May your neighbor that you cannot stand win the lottery

[dafydd manton]

(That comes, if you will excuse the pun, as a relief)

May your newly-rich neighbour contiunally park his Rolls-Royce over your driveway.

[Maryd.]

May your form of transport be unicycles.

[dafydd manton]

May the significant person in your life prefer travelling by scooter.

[Maryd.]

May your last unicycle get a flat tyre on the way to work.

[dafydd manton]

May the bus-driver throw you off for cluttering up his bus with unicycles.

[Maryd.]

May the bus driver run over your last unicycle.

[Pendragon]

May your children be the same rowdies you were when you were their age

[Maryd.]

May your children sing Karaoke all night, whilst you are trying to sleep.

[dafydd manton]

That, I think is the most vicious curse I have heard in my entire life. That is positively EVIL!.

May your children sing nasal, atonal songs about your lack of parenting skills, disastrous cooking and shocking dress sense.

[de Renal]

May your male children polish nails and wear dresses before the nasal-atonal-allnight karaoke show! (I found it very fitting into the picture)

[dafydd manton]

May your females all shave their heads, get tattooes, wear Doc Martens and ride motorcycles with skulls painted on the fuel tank.

[Maryd.]

May your daughters wait for you to fall asleep and paint your fingernails a hot red colour, dye your hair blue, and dye all your shirts a hot pink.

[LMK]

May all your teeth fall out except one so you can have a toothache, God forbid.

[Maryd.]

(That one actually had me laughing)

May you be sent to live in antartica, wearing nothing but a bikini.

[adityasam]

May your dog bite away both your pollex and hallux.

[Maryd.]

What are you? A doctor... What does that mean anyway?

May your thesaurus be stolen by me.

[Pendragon]

May you find that the light at the end of the tunnel is an oncoming train

[dafydd manton]

May you find that the train is British, and breaks down half way through the tunnel.

[Maryd.]

May your train be filled with passengers that haven't bathed in a week.

[adityasam]

May your dog have all sorts of diseases that affect you and you remain in bed for decades.

[dafydd manton]

May the bed-bugs and the fleas conduct a war on your person.

[Maryd.]

May your dragon come down with Beautiful Princess Desease

[dafydd manton]

May my dragon be angry about the sex-change, and singe your eyebrows.

[Maryd.]

May your dragon find you attractive in the middle of the night...

[dafydd manton]

If he wakes me, may I run past your house screaming so loud it wakes you all up, and you have to spend the rest of the night calming the family down.

[Pendragon]

May your kids embarass you at the worst possible moment

[dafydd manton]

Not for the first time!

May people think that the worst behaved children in the entire restaurant are yours, when they actually belong to the fat couple with the baseball caps.

[Maryd.]

May your kids plan find a blood test revealing the milkman as their father.

[dafydd manton]

May your father the milkman have been a Transylvanian dwarf with six toes on each foot, red hair, buck teeth, knock-knees, pigeon toes and a lisp.

[Pendragon]

May your monstrous father disown you for being more monstrous...

[adityasam]

May your father bash you so much that your head swells to a size of your height.

[dafydd manton]

May you look so much like a Rugby ball that Wales use you to thrash England!

[Pendragon]

May you be forced to walk on hot coals as s way to get a good table in your favorite bistro

[dafydd manton]

May your favourite bistro have taken on a McDonalds franchise.

[Pendragon]

May your Facebook friends post unflattering pictures of you :troll:

[dafydd manton]

May your Facebook friends see your pictures and "unfriend" you on the grounds of acute ugliness.

[Maryd.]

May you trip and fall into a pit filled with one hundred, man hating women...:smilielol5:

[Pendragon]

May all the men in your life refer to you as "That Man-Hating Woman"

[adityasam]

May the book you are holding, closes on your nose so hard, that you suffer for your entire life to respire properly!

[hazelk]

May all of your dearms be nightmares.

[Silas Thorne]

May you suddenly suffer an intense allergy to all your loved ones.

[iamnobody]

may you live FOREVER

[Maryd.]

May you go bald and grow hair on your palms.

[BienvenuJDC]

May your palms turn red and smell like sulfur

[Maryd.]

May be forced to read everything I have ever written... (Hahahaha)

[BienvenuJDC]

May you sit in my bathroom after I get done in there...

[Maryd.]

Ewwww...

May you live the rest of your life in sewer.

[BienvenuJDC]

May you live the rest of your life as a Flying Monkey

[Maryd.]

(Hey that could almost be fun)

May you be reincarnated as a skunk.

[BienvenuJDC]

May I spray you over an' over...

[Maryd.]

Hahaha...

May your head spin around three times before exploding on your computer.

[BienvenuJDC]

May you have to clean it up....

[Maryd.]

May be sent to another country in box filled with scorpions.

[BienvenuJDC]

May you have to open the box...

[Maryd.]

May you live to tell the tale

[BienvenuJDC]

May you have to take care of me the rest of my days...

[Maryd.]

May you live in a jungle field with Cannibals

[BienvenuJDC]

May you be their cook...

[Maryd.]

Ewww...

May all your dreams be filled with that image...

[BienvenuJDC]

May you have the golden touch...

[Maryd.]

May the golden touch turn you into a ballerina wearing a pink tu tu

[BienvenuJDC]

May you eat chocolate covered grasshoppers....

[Maryd.]

(Hey if the chocolate covered it would matter... hahaha)

May you sing opera everytime you open your mouth.

[BienvenuJDC]

May you hear it each time...

[Maryd.]

May you be forced to eat all of your children's leftovers, as main meals.

[Heathcliff]

May you be forced to eat main meals designed by children :)

[Maryd.]

May you be forced to dance the Zorba at an English ball.

[Pendragon]

May the rainbow in your life be an illusion

[Maryd.]

May your house be filled with screaming babies.

[Heathcliff]

May your skeletal head fall offs

[jajdude]

May the worst of your past be the best of your future.

(ouch- that even hurt to type)

[Maryd.]

May your bed be filled with infectious bugs, that nibble things.

[MystyrMystyry]

not my things! I don't want 'em nibbling my things!

may your face turn into latex, slowly harden and wear away in chunks

[Big Dante]

May your hands turn to scissors and you be stuck continuously running.

[Maryd.]

May a koala house itslef to your face permanently.

[Sionn Harrow]

May onions grow in your bellybutton;)

[Neo_Sephiroth]

Ewww...Belly buttons and onions!!!

May your belly button speak foul language whenever you have a date

[Big Dante]

May both Montague's and Capulet's bite their thumbs at thee.

[Pendragon]

May you be voted "Most likely to be misdiagnosed as a human being."

[Sionn Harrow]

may all your dreams come true;)

[Pendragon]

May you always lie on a bed of nails

[Buh4Bee]

May your kite string break so you are blown away by a small cloud.

[Jerrybaldy]

May your milk disolve your cornflakes.

[Pendragon]

May the stick you pick up to kill a snake actually be another snake

[adityasam]

May all the snakes in the world inhabit your stomach!

[Pendragon]

May your dreams be created by HP Lovecraft, Edgar Allan Poe, and Stephen King

[iamnobody]

That would be AWESOME!

May your dreams be created by Stephenie Meyer.

[Pendragon]

May "dreamless sleep" for you be an attack of insomnia

[Maryd.]

May all your nightmares come true.

[Pendragon]

May you become enamored of elevator music

[Maryd.]

May your wish for wanting a million bucks, be taken literally... And you be sent a horse as a gift.