The Curse Exchange

[Maryd.]

May you turn into a pumpkin

[BienvenuJDC]

(already have a gourd head)

May you live in a pumpkin...

[Maryd.]

(It could be nice)

My your share your home with a thousand cockroaches

[BienvenuJDC]

May you live with me and the thousand cockroaches...

[Maryd.]

Ewww...

May your dinner be the thousand cockroaches... (Now I am sounding silly)

[BienvenuJDC]

(as long as they are chocolate covered)

May you forever be in that cafe...

[Maryd.]

SNAP!
May you choke on your cockroaches.

[Pendragon]

May you be given "mouth to mouth" by a disgusting person

[Maryd.]

May you feel the need to visit the bathroom every 10 minutes.

[Heathcliff]

May there be a powerfailure, despite you only having just gotten internet.

[Indyben]

May you lose your ability to search through various lolcats

[Heathcliff]

May you be utterly bewildered with sparkly vampires and eventually enjoy Twiliwght.

[Indyben]

....That's a low blow...really low...
May you forever be woken by the repititive sounds of the music co-ordiantor's trumpet

[Heathcliff]

May the shiny vampires blow the trumpet SOOO loudly in your ears.

[Maryd.]

May you lose your head as well as your toes.

[Pendragon]

May you forget your best friend's name while delivering an introduction at a gala event

[BienvenuJDC]

May you become Captain Klutz

[Maryd.]

May you fall in love with a kangaroo

[BienvenuJDC]

(why not?)

May a kangaroo fall in love with you...

[Maryd.]

If I am lucky something will....

May a gorilla move into your home and need to use your razor.

[BienvenuJDC]

May me and my gorilla move in with you...

[Maryd.]

(Yay, I love gorilla's)
May you and your gorilla be cast away on a desert island together.

[Heathcliff]

May they have a wonderful time without you.

[Maryd.]

May you slip in your kitty litter

[Pendragon]

May your mirror distort you image

[Maryd.]

(That's not hard to do these days)

May you live in a small house with angry skunks

[Pendragon]

May you discover a relative that is a total embarrassment to the family

[Maryd.]

(Wait a minute... Isn't that me)

May you be bitten by my avatar.

[Nikhar]

May your computer break down again.

[Maryd.]

(That's so cruel Nikhar... You made me cry...)

May you be sold to an old woman and used to shell her peanuts for her.

[Pendragon]

May you find yourself trapped in a fallout shelter with plenty of food in can but no canopener

[Maryd.]

May you be left at a supermarket and lose your mamma.

[Pendragon]

May everyday be Monday

[Maryd.]

My you only visualise my avatar, whenever you close your eyes

[BienvenuJDC]

May you forget.....uh.....everything...

[Maryd.]

(I wish)

May you spend the rest of your on line life, only chatting to me and no one else.

[BienvenuJDC]

May you spend the rest of your online life talking to only you too...

[Pendragon]

May you mistake sunshine for shadow

[BienvenuJDC]

May you be affected by this stupid pollen that I am dealing with...:(

[Maryd.]

May you trip over normal and have to face reality

[BienvenuJDC]

May you become totally normal....

[Maryd.]

May you be cursed by three ghosts in the middle of the night and have to celebrate Christmas everyday for the rest of your life.

[BienvenuJDC]

May you get short changed and only get one ghost...and spend everyday on Christmas eve in anticipation of a day that will never come...

[Maryd.]

May every Christmas you have be filled with gifts, for everyone else but you.

[BienvenuJDC]

Actually that wouldn't bother me a bit...

May I haunt your every Christmas....

[Maryd.]

As opposed to every other day...

May you and I never get past a pm...
(Oops, I didn't let it go, after all)

[BienvenuJDC]

May you forget your name...

[Maryd.]

Here's hoping...

May you be smothered in kisses, whilst you sleep, by the dog in my avatar.

[BienvenuJDC]

May you endure Rachel tooting on your lap...

[Maryd.]

My you listen to me singing the theme song, from the movie Titanic, for the rest of your living days.

[BienvenuJDC]

May you not get ANY work done today...

[Maryd.]

Oops, I should go...

May you swallow your words.

[Pendragon]

May your car not start when you are already late for an important meeting

[Maryd.]

May your car turn into a pumpkin and making you late for the Ball.

[Pendragon]

May you really break a leg in your next stage performance.

[Maryd.]

May you stay as young as your avatar

[BienvenuJDC]

May your breath be as bad as your dog's breath...

[Maryd.]

May a bird fly past you, right at the moment of doing his business.

[BienvenuJDC]

May you be standing over me at that time...

[Maryd.]

May your daughters wake up one morning in the assumption that you look like a bar of chocolate... And eat you.

[MarkBastable]

May you never know any better than Hershey's.

[Maryd.]

May the wind change and your face stay like that.

[Pendragon]

May your mirror refuse to reflect your countenance

[Maryd.]

May the mirror on your wall, not declare you the fairest of the land

[Tarvaa]

A pox on your curse

[BienvenuJDC]

May you break all the mirror in your house (and suffer the consequences)

[Maryd.]

Too slow...

May your mirror show your true reflection.

[BienvenuJDC]

(is that even a curse)

May a mouse eat holes in all the cheese in your house...

[Maryd.]

May a mouse own your house

[BienvenuJDC]

May everything that you own smell like stinky cheese...

[Maryd.]

May you drown in a sea of your own saliva

[BienvenuJDC]

May you live the rest of your life waist deep in tapioca pudding

[Maryd.]

Oh I love Tapioca Pudding... Yum. That would not be a curse.

May your bed be filled with fleas.

[BienvenuJDC]

oh, I love fleas...yum

May your tapioca be curdled...

[Maryd.]

May you male dog mistaken you for a tree

[Pendragon]

May you discover that your family tree is full of nuts

[Maryd.]

May you be cursed to visit your family everyday... At the local zoo.

[Pendragon]

May you find that your family tree does not fork

[Maryd.]

May your bathroom be filled with scorpions

[Pendragon]

May your toilet overflow in the middle of a holiday party

[Maryd.]

May you eat firecrackers for breakfast

[hillwalker]

May your next sh*t be a hedgehog

[Maryd.]

(Ewww.)

May you slip on a porcupine

[Haunted]

May you find a ping pong ball in the dozen eggs you bought

[BienvenuJDC]

May you pull an egg from your next package of ping pong balls...

[hillwalker]

May a plague of locusts devour your mobile phone

[BienvenuJDC]

May a swarm of gnats cover your dung (before you go to the bathroom)

[Maryd.]

May a swarm of bees nest in your bathroom

[Pendragon]

May a burley person take extreme exception to your face

[Maryd.]

May partner mistaken you for a deadly spider and stomp on your head.

[hillwalker]

May a herd of wildebeest flatten your chihuahua

[Maryd.]

May you be stalked for the rest of your life, by wild skunks.

[Haunted]

may your white dress have a permanent ink spot

[BienvenuJDC]

May you receive millions of erasers...(and no cars)

[Haunted]

may you have to fix the leak under the kitchen sink every day for the rest of your life

[BienvenuJDC]

May you get stuck on a date with a smelly man in the Triangle

[Haunted]

may you get stuck in a traffic circle for 12 hours

[BienvenuJDC]

May you go on a date with Snape's pet spider...

[Maryd.]

Make you crawl slowly in a pit of poisonous snakes

[Pendragon]

May you live to regret it, over and over again

[Maryd.]

(Good one)

May you live in a cage with a harem of female monkeys

[Pendragon]

May you mistakenly put your underwear on over your jeans

[Maryd.]

May your refigerator, be filled with nothing but snails.

[Heathcliff]

May you turn into a giant snail and end up in the refrigerator.

[Maryd.]

May you be eaten by the flying pig.

[Heathcliff]

May you be eaten by the lions!! :arf:

[Maryd.]

May be living in my house forever

[Pendragon]

May you be haunted by every ghost in your local graveyard

[Nikhar]

May each and every person on this earth turn into a girl and you turn gay.

[Haunted]

May you be given the job to tend to one thousand babies each day

[Nikhar]

May you be given the job to tend to one thousand babies each day

hehe... but that's not a curse at all. :p

[BienvenuJDC]

May Haunted get a job in a Day Care with even a dozen children...

[Haunted]

hehe... but that's not a curse at all. :p

that's 1000 crying, kicking babies with long sloppies and diapers that need changing...

[BienvenuJDC]

May you forever have 'sloppies' on you...

[Haunted]

May you forever be washing diapers by hand

[BienvenuJDC]

May you be wearing the same "used" diaper forever...

[Haunted]

may you smell like poop every time you go on a date

[BienvenuJDC]

May you go on a date with me...

[Haunted]

May you go on a date with me...

that's got to be the cruelest curse yet :lol:

May you pay for all the limos and dinners and movies

[BienvenuJDC]

that's got to be the cruelest curse yet :lol:

:smilewinkgrin:

May the person sitting next to you this evening...:puke: ...on you

[Haunted]

may you be served sushi for breakfast

[BienvenuJDC]

May you be sitting beside me when I eat it... :puke:

[Haunted]

may you catch my cold

[Pendragon]

May your dating service match you with Quasimodo and Erik, the phantom of the opera.

[Maryd.]

May you be sent to live in the pens of a stockyard.

[Haunted]

May you always run into a third wheel on your dates

[Pendragon]

May your inflated ego float you off the planet

[Nikhar]

May you wear yellow coloured goggles for the rest of your life.

[Heathcliff]

May your goggles take you to the Olympics and break midway through the race.

[Maryd.]

May you be grounded for life.

[Haunted]

May you walk your dog in a blowing blizzard

[Maryd.]

May your cat do its business in your bed

[BienvenuJDC]

May your son's spider give you kisses in your sleep...

[Maryd.]

May you fall into a pit of bird eating spiders

[Haunted]

may you eat deep fried spiders for a week

[Maryd.]

May you live on a mountain of grizzly bears.

[Haunted]

may your hair turns frizzly no matter how you style it

[Maryd.]

(Hey that is so cruel... Hahahaha)

May every time you look in the mirror, you see my reflection.

[Haunted]

LOL that's a blessing!

may you always find me standing behind you every time you look in the mirror

[Maryd.]

And that would be a blessing too.

May all your clothes disappear. Even the ones you are currently wearing.

[Haunted]

may you never find a swimming suit that fits

[Maryd.]

May you swim with sharks

[Haunted]

May you grow shark teeth

[Maryd.]

May you live in a house filled with smelly monkeys.

[Pendragon]

May the smelly monkeys throw you out for being too smelly

[Nikhar]

May you have teeth like vampire and no other characteristic of it.

[Pendragon]

May you wake up to discover that your entire life has been a dream and you are in fact a canine

[Maryd.]

May you be allergic to litnet... Everytime you log on you sneeze.

[dafydd manton]

May each sneeze make your head swell up to four times its normal size.

[Maryd.]

May your avatar turn around and eat you up

[ennison]

Old one - May you be painted by Picasso.
Crude one - May a flight of flying skunks defecate on you from a great height.

[dafydd manton]

May your toe-nails be consumed by a rampaging pack of Irish basenji.

[Maryd.]

May you swallow a fly and grow maggots with your intestine.

[Pendragon]

May all your relatives visit, especially the ones you cannot relate to...

[dafydd manton]

May your in-laws outlive you, and visit every Sunday for the rest of your life.

[kiz_paws]

:eek: OWCH!

May the shoelace of your sneaker break 15 seconds before the 1-Km Dash!

[dafydd manton]

May you be condemned to spend a thousand years watching day-time television in black and white.

[Maryd.]

May every you wake up every morning with poisonous snakes in your bed.

[Heathcliff]

May you turn into a poisonous snake over night and nobody will want to play with you. :arf:

[dafydd manton]

May you become an extra in a Soap Opera, with no lines.

[Maryd.]

May you have to spend the rest of your life being nice to everyone...
(Trust me it's murder)

[Haunted]

May you be "yes m'am" everywhere you go

[Maryd.]

May your hair turn grey overnight

[Haunted]

may all your jeans shrink one size after your next wash

[Maryd.]

(Too late)

May you wake up and find me as your best friend

[Haunted]

may you have to talk to me for 6 hours each day

[Maryd.]

(Don't I already do that)

May you put up with me whinging in your ear for 24 hours

[Heathcliff]

May you put up with my vanity for all eternity.

[Maryd.]

(small price to pay... Mwah)

May you have to babysit Snape for ever and a day.

[Pendragon]

May you become fixated on Snipe Hunts...

[Maryd.]

My you read every book I write and have to enjoy it, as well.

[dafydd manton]

May you become of the opposite gender, but live a million years with everybody saying you are the ugliest man/woman they have ever seen.

[Maryd.]

(Piff, it would probably be an improvement)

May you find scorpions in the pocket you keep your wallet in.

[Haunted]

may you keep me company while I sit in front of the idiot box

[Maryd.]

May the idiot box come to life and eat you whole

[dafydd manton]

May you be condemned to eat only English food for the rest of your life.

[Maryd.]

May your home be taken over by a herd of elephants.

[dafydd manton]

May the elephants eat all the English food, with inevitable consequences.

[Maryd.]

May every morning you wake up, with a new papercut.

[dafydd manton]

May you wake up every morning with a hangover, when you haven't had a drink.

[Maryd.]

May ever drop of drink in your house be turned into water

[dafydd manton]

Ultimately, and obliquely, it will be!!!

May all your dreams contain tractors instead of Ferraris.

[Maryd.]

May you have to eat my spaghetti bolognese everyday for the rest of your life.

[dafydd manton]

May your spaghetti bolognese ever burn to the bottom of the pan.

[Maryd.]

May you be nibbled on by a thousand hungy mice

[dafydd manton]

May you be condemned to spend every evening with model railway enthusiasts.

[Maryd.]

May you live snails every night for the rest of your days.

[dafydd manton]

May all your clothing turn to goat-hair, and make you itch for evermore.

[Maryd.]

May you be chosen to change nappies/diapers in a maternity unit at a public hospital

[dafydd manton]

That's cruel!

May all your socks develop holes on the same day. (Ladders in tights for the ladies)

[Astromaxis]

May you walk on manure and go to bed without washing LOL

[dafydd manton]

May your bar of soap turn to aardvark droppings.

[Astromaxis]

Let your skin smell of droppings forever

[Pendragon]

May the aliens that abduct you put your skin back on wrong side out

[dafydd manton]

May those parts of your anatomy that be should be soft go hard, and those that should be hard go soft.

[Astromaxis]

LOL That sounds mean Daffyd LOL

Yes mucus come forth out of places in your body that you never thought before

[Maryd.]

Ewww...

May your head spin around twice and your stomach explode.

[Astromaxis]

Let your guts out of your exploded stomach come out and do make Moulin Rouge without you!

[Maryd.]

May you be given a male pup as a pet and the only place he knows where to do his business, is on your feet.

[Astromaxis]

May puppies defecate on your best dress

[Maryd.]

Ewww.

May you rush to the toilet and realise that you didn't make it in time.

[Astromaxis]

May you use what you made when you didn't make it in time on someone

[dafydd manton]

May the fleas of a thousand monkeys infest your newest hairdo.

[Astromaxis]

May the claws of a thousand cats use you as a scratching post

[Paulclem]

May your feet turn sideways so that you can only get on in a roundabout way.

[Astromaxis]

May your underwear all disappear when you need them the most

[dafydd manton]

May walking in a straight line make you dizzy, and roundabouts not.

[Astromaxis]

May you draw straight lines as you are about to vomit

[dafydd manton]

May your curses become somewhat more graphic than is seemly.

[Astromaxis]

May your graphicness lead to vomit

[dafydd manton]

May your vomit be in black and white.

[Paulclem]

May your vomit always be expressed nasally.

[dafydd manton]

May your nasal vomit fill the breast-pockets of your bush jacket.

[Astromaxis]

And may those breast-pockets be where you sleep at night

[dafydd manton]

May the breast pockets be where you keep your lunch.

[Astromaxis]

May your lunch have nasal mucus

[dafydd manton]

May the Archbisop of Canterbury always insist on saying a Latin grace over your nasal mucus.

[Astromaxis]

May James Joyce Smack the Archbishop and do the Macarena over the Nasal Mucus

[Pendragon]

May the lobsters feed on you in revenge for those you ate

[Maryd.]

May you be cursed to eat salted peanuts daily, for the rest of your life

[dafydd manton]

May your teeth wear down to stubs on the peanuts, so that you have to suck them to death.

[Astromaxis]

May you bleed into your salted peanuts as you eat your teeth along with them

[Pendragon]

May you be haunted by the ghosts of friendship past

[Astromaxis]

May your exes be all adept voodoo practitioners capable of conjuring curses with DNA fragments

[dafydd manton]

May your DNA fragments all prove to be duff.

[Astromaxis]

May your daft exes all go "Waka Waka" over your duff DNA fragments

[Maryd.]

May a gorilla find you attractive.

[Heathcliff]

May you find a gorilla attractive.

[Astromaxis]

Let Gorillas go "Waka Waka" and do belly dances when you have been confirmed as perfect love matches

[Pendragon]

May your audition with "America's Got Talent" only confirm that you have none

[Maryd.]

May you swallow a fly and grow maggots in your stomach.

[Astromaxis]

May those maggots go "Waka Waka" in your stomach causing you to vomit

[Maryd.]

May your bathroom be filled with rats that like to nibble things.

[dafydd manton]

May the aforesaid rats nibble through the floorboards so that the plumbing falls in your breakfast.

[Maryd.]

May you spend the rest of your days listening to me nag you, until you get so fed up you take refuge with the rats.

[dafydd manton]

May your nagging become so sharp that your tongue punctures your cheek, and sparrows nest in the holes.

[Maryd.]

(OMG, you are so good at this game)

May you visit Australia and be bitten by a Whitetail spider.

[dafydd manton]

May you come to Britain and be abducted by Morris-dancing, tea-drinking double-decker bus drivers

[Maryd.]

(What's wrong with that)

May you live in a house filled with scorpians and venomous snakes?

[dafydd manton]

May the scorpions get in to your sandwiches whilst the snakes get in to your sock drawer.

[Pendragon]

May you dream of snakes forever

[dafydd manton]

May you be condemned to spending every evening for the rest of your life sitting next to the smelly person on the bus.

[Maryd.]

May the bus driver, drive you into a crocodile infested lake.

[Astromaxis]

Let The Crocodile drink tea and spit it on you (AHHH BURNING TEA!)

[dafydd manton]

May the crocodile blame you for the pollution of his swamp, and chase you every night in your dreams

[Astromaxis]

Let the Night Crocodile Do "Waka Waka" as your favourite team loses

[Maryd.]

May you trip on a garden gnome and land in your neighbours dog's droppings.

[dafydd manton]

May You trip on the neighbour's dog droppings so that the fishing rod of the garden gnome goes up your left nostril

[Maryd.]

May you use the fishing line as dental floss

[dafydd manton]

May your molars fall out as the fishing hook lodges behind them, and the gnome pulls harder than you thought gnomes could.