Another creative game

[Pendragon]

Hallowed Hogwarts or Hog Warts

She thought she had a scholarship to hallowed Hogwarts,
And when the letter came Booky couldn’t hold back an excited sequel!
But how the threads of Fate mere mortals dreams do thwart,
And Booky ended up getting the raw end of a crooked deal.
The collage she was sent to was one for helping skin blemished swine,
She learned all about mudpacks and facials and even wigs—
You can paint it up and pamper it until it looks simply divine,
Yet in the end when all is said and done a pig is still a pig…
Booky began to fall quite ill from odors wafting from the wallow sty,
And the manners of the boars and sows at the tables were atrocious.
With every time she beheld another warty hog, she began to cry,
Until the pain that racked her body became unbearable and ferocious.
I heard the bells upon the towers ring in solemn voices yesterday:
And her coffin carried by eight massive pompadoured pigs they buried Booky today.

Pendragon
© 8/28/07

http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Four/PIG8.jpg

[Shurtugal]

pen spent all his time writing his silly works of art that he didn't notice that a giant pig rose abouve his head. KERSPALT! pen is dead.

[Divine Comedy]

Shurtugal was having her cup of coffee when a scientist who was experimenting with his new machine which shrinks objects decided to use her as the tool for his experiment. He shrunk her and she fell into her own cup of cofee and was drowned to death.

[BlueSkyGB]

Divine was thinking hard about the statement: I exist therefore I am
When the brain exploded due to a high amount of traffic...:lol:

[NikolaiI]

BlueSky was enjoying the picture: a blue sky in the background of a beautiful cat. Everything was tranquil, the cat seemed to be meditating, and BlueSky was very happy, until she realized the cat was some sort of super-sized alien cat, who proceeded to devour her...

[The Bookinator]

The cat then hacked up a hairball, which rolled down a hill and onto the bystander, NikoliaI. It is *takes off hat* a terrible tragedy.

. . .Anything smell a little. . . *sniff* fishy to you guys?

[Bakiryu]

Bookie was delighted at Nicolai's death but then, a horrible time traveler viking from the 25th century appeared and ate him clothes and all.

Will bookie, like his namesake, be back?

[Pendragon]

Ryu was having a bad dream about a bunch of androgynous persons chasing her with every imaginable weapon screaming, “What do you mean you cannot tell if I am Male or Female? Take that and that and that!” She woke up shrieking herself to find Freddy Kruger beside her, ominous glove raised. “Looks like the nightmare is on your street tonight!” We shall need to draw a rubber sheet over the rest of the scene….

[Shurtugal]

pen died of boredness when he read this post.

[Bakiryu]

Shurtugal died when she read of Bakiryu's death. LMAO!

[Shurtugal]

ok, this is from one of the stories that run threw of my heads! i changed one of th characters name just to make it fit. i think this is noble enough for baki.
this all takes place during a battle, in a fantisy world, arrows are flying, and swords are about to clash.

Refarmoth turned his gaze just intime to see Bakiryu fall to the ground, wounded. By what or how Refarmoth knew not, but he abonded his leadership at the front of battle. When several men took his turn as retreat, he shouted.

"What are you doing?! Get back up there! I'll join you and lead us to victory as soon as I can!"

But already the confusion took a small towl on their weak forces.

Refarmeth was at Bakiryu's side, anilising her wound. An arrow was deeply inbeeded in her side. Blood gushed forth, he put his hand around the wound the wound and was about to call out the healing words of magic, but she put her limp hand on his.

"Stop Refarmoth," she said in a weak voice, hardly hearable, "This is my fate."

"No it's not! I can heal you!" he cried threw tears.

"I won't let you die!" Refarmoth screamed, tears fell down his dirt stained face.

"When you have lived as long as I have, it is a relief to die."

"That means..." he said in words of pain and aweness.

"Aye, Refarmoth, I am Aplor'menthe Bakiryu Zeldukanumtruth Ono Un Narn Garbeth." she took a deep breath of pain, "Unsheeth my sword."

"No, rest, you-"

"Bring it!" she demanded, she had only short time. Relunctently he gave it to her, "Kneel. I, Aplor'menthe Bakiryu Zeldukanumtruth Ono Un Narn Garbeth,, first born shild, heir to the throne," she stopped and took along breath. She closed and reopened her eyes. "Dub thee, King of Tranteribeth."

Refarmeth looked at her with all the graditude in the world. Once afain Bakiryu cried out in a pain, she clutched her side. Closing her eyes, she reopened them as she looked at Refarmoth.

"Good-bye," she whispered, and for the last time did she close her eyes. A smile of no pain came apon her face, she breathed deeply; then that was it.

[kiz_paws]

Shurtzie was merrily writing away when her pen just stopped writing. Just like that. No forewarning. In dismay and confusion, she eyeballed the writing instrument, to have a glimpse as to what the problem was. BIG MISTAKE. The pen suddenly became animated and torpedoed right into her left eye, and the ink exploded into her brain. The last thing she knew was that she was lying on the floor wondering about that fly on the ceiling..... :(

[Pendragon]

http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Smilies/DaGodfeather.jpg

Hey, get me Detective Mallory, understan'. Yeah.

Hey, Mallory, how ya doing. Yah, youse know exactly who dis is.

No, youse listen ta me, I ain't shovin' youse dat dough fer my health, capisce?

I gotta little problem ovah heah.

Yeah, a stiff.

Look, youse gonna do what I say, or youse gonna end up wid a dirt ovahcoat, capisce?

It's some dame, she came outta dah speak ta get some air and a fag. She lights up, and jus' den dat louse punk Birchfield shows up ta chin wit me. Only he ain't heah to chin, unless a gat talks. Missed me, but she took it where it counts.

Nah, just her. Don' worry about Birchfield. Youse can take him off da wanted list, dose.

Now get ovah heah and get the poor moll. See she gets a decent funeral. I pay. Dis one's on de Godfeather. Poor gal should'd stayed in da speak to smoke...

Name? Youse tink I...

Dey call her Kiz, dat's all I knows. Handle it, pronto, get me!

Bye, ya rat!

[the silent x]

Setting down the phone, Pen hears a rustling behind him. Rapidly spinning he finds nothing. Shaking his head, he mutters some Italian jibberish and looks at his computer, secretly fingering a large knife. He hears the rustling noise again. He stands up to get a better view of his box littered office. He edges near the doorway, "Could it be? No, no he wouldn't come back, not after the toni's sumo wrestler incident. Your just trying to scare yourself pen, c'mon, snap out of it." Heading out into his living room, gangsta pen and his cronies sat about and talked business. Pen hears the rustling again, always behind him it was. He sent one of his henchmen to see what it was, not seeing anything, the henchman returned to the living room which was plunged into darkness instantly.

Detective Mallory was called from his comfortable bed, next to his beautiful wife for an investigation, what kind of murderer would kill someone at this time of night. Upon entering the crime scene, he stared at a wall that was covered in blood. The detective, a normally strong-hearted man and not given to fear, voided both his bowels and his bladder, and then passed out upon the floor upon seeing the former gangsta dead, although it was what he saw that made his sanity go to pieces. Pendragon and his henchmen were all propped up against the blood covered wall, above their heads was written, "I'm back." with the essex etched into the drywall.

[Shalot]

The silent x was killed by something silent, but deadly (har har har)

[AdoreroDio]

Shalot was walking across a street when while not paying to much attention saw a girl about to be hit by a run away baby carriage and thought "she doesn't even know!" and was about to shout a warning when Shalot was hit by a car and was killed because Shalot wasn't paying attention.

[Bakiryu]

AdoreroDio was walking lost in a book when she stuck and iron pole which knocked her out into eternal sleep.

[NikolaiI]

Bakiryu finally found herself nowhere, and couldn't get back to the everywhere so she eventually died there. We all mourn her tenderly. :(

[Pendragon]

Whodunit?

Nikolai has passed to another fair land,
At least we shall give her that charity—
For certain it is that the young lass is dead,
So we do not name the dead without clarity.
Less and less now are the vital clues,
We require to solve this dark bloody crime.
But someone out there doesn’t play by the rules,
And I fear that we shall run short on time…
The Powers That Be are demanding results,
And so far we have little enough we can give.
Am I to go to my superior and speak to him thus:
“Yo, dude, the girl somehow has ceased to live!”
I know there comes a time when we all have to go:
So how did she die outside of her own window?

Pendragon
© 9/12/07

[Bakiryu]

Recent news

Pendragon was brutally murdered. Found to his chest was a note pinned: I'm a guy!

In other news Nik, also known as Nikolai Ilyitch Goldyakin, is nowhere to be found.

Litnetters wonder why :D

[Pendragon]

Recent news

Pendragon was brutally murdered. Found to his chest was a note pinned: I'm a guy!

In other news Nik, also known as Nikolai Ilyitch Goldyakin, is nowhere to be found.

Litnetters wonder why :DWould someone explain why he didn't tell me when I made the paper doll? :blush: http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Four/Nicdoll.gif :blush: :blush: :blush: :blush: :blush: :blush:

[Bakiryu]

Would someone explain why he didn't tell me when I made the paper doll? :blush:

dunno. he said on his blog he had a beard, maybe he's a bearded woman who lives at circus somewhere? :D

[kiz_paws]

No, Nik is a HE. And his grandma is a well-published author, cool, eh?

Now, Baki, **music changes to eerie monstrous stuff**, since you were the last poster.....

Time has Come!!

A sweet girl with beautiful curly long hair was bent over her homework, working oh so hard on her French ciphering.

When all of a sudden, the window broke open, a large bird appeared and took hold of that lovely curly long hair of our Baki.

The bird up and flew out the window, Baki in tow, and over the fields and ravines they did fly..... far far away.... until the canyons were in view. The bird, in mid-flight paused to catch its breath, when..... his quarry fell down down down into the canyon.

Baki's scream could be heard for a full three minutes... :alien:

[Bakiryu]

Now Kiz, who using her wizardly arts had turned into said monstrous bird flapped on the air, catching her wind when suddenly a hunter with a shotgun aimed at her heart, brought her home and ate her. Raw.



(You're right, the otters are indeed very cute. *HUGS!*)

[kiz_paws]

Baki gets killed yet again, but this time by a heart that swelled so huge in admiration for the cute otters, the YouTube video that is taking over the country!! Kiz and Baki were so bent on admiring these little sweeties that we both fell over the ramp and drowned in that very pool. With the hand-holding creatures thinking how foolish those mortals be....

OK, so we BOTH went down!! Who's up to get the two o'us?? :lol:

[Shurtugal]

well... kiz just killed herself... so, um, i'll leave it at that. (stange)

[Pendragon]

Faith and trust and pixie dust,
Shurtu felt would make her fly.
But someone switched the dust, with a can of rust,
And on takeoff Shurtu died...



http://www.websmileys.com/sm/cartoon/1238.gif

[NikolaiI]

Recent news

Pendragon was brutally murdered. Found to his chest was a note pinned: I'm a guy!

In other news Nik, also known as Nikolai Ilyitch Goldyakin, is nowhere to be found.

Litnetters wonder why :D

Now I am just a little confused as to the chronology of this one. Was this an act-after-the-grave or something? I came back as a zombie to avenge myself!?? But somehow he's still alive...



Would someone explain why he didn't tell me when I made the paper doll? :blush: http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Four/Nicdoll.gif :blush: :blush: :blush: :blush: :blush: :blush:

I didn't know I was supposed to correct you! Anyway, I am sorry for any embarrassment, Pen. But I loved the picture- perhaps it was just a drawing of my metaphorical feminine side? Or, as Abby says from Dharma and Greg, we're not male or female but all of us are both. That's how I see it anyway.

But I am not a bearded lady, Baki! :lol:

Pen was pondering on a hill,
And wondering about his awesome will-
He wanted to know if he was brave,
And so an entertainment he gave:
As was talked before on the Net of Lit,
And wanting finally to try it,
All alone where no one could see,
No one he saw, but he did not see me-

He sat himself down and rolled down the hill,
Not thinking of how himself it might kill,
But he landed on a sharp stick in his side,
And that is how the brave Pen died.

[Shurtugal]

wow is i who must murder PAM... nay, it is a fake plead, i quite enjoy it.

nik died when everyone found that he was the murder of pen! aye, it is true, for some unknown causes, nik killed pen. a said thing to be said, we all thought nik was a friend, but who was it that killed nik? there have been rumors that pen as a ghost of an dragon.

[Bakiryu]

Shutz was killed by a crazy lit-netter (whose name shall not be written), on her wall it said: "Don't kill the only person who replies to my threads!"

[Shurtugal]

ker killed me, so i kill back! reveange. i drove the sword home and flew away, abhorred by the wickedness i just had commited. but low what is that infront of me....

[BulletproofDork]

Shurtie was lying on her living room couch, when suddenly Jeremy Sumpter(spelling?) jumped out of the wall and beheaded her.


:):):):):):):):)

[Shurtugal]

your cruel... you have my worst enemy come and kill me! i loath jeremy sumpter! so after i slapped jeremy as hard as i could he went flying into bulletproofdork, sending bullet into the wall. she has been unconcience ever since.

[Pendragon]

A dark figure rose, as if the night itself had come to life. It rose before Shurtu and continued to rise as though it would tower to the very gates of heaven. A deep voice which echoed as if from the silence of the abyss called her by name. "Why did you allow me to die?"

Shurtu gasped: "Pendragon! But, I did not kill you! I destroyed the one who took your life!"

"And in doing so, allowed me to pass the Dark Gate. Dragons are immortal; we may not die. But we may not take revenge, either, or we will experience the sensation that the soul of the human we destroy for revenge has as The Reaper takes his due.

"You slew Nic for revenge on me, and I was bound to his human soul to pass that Gate a dragon must not pass. I may not kill you either, but as I return to life, for even that experience cannot break my immortality, I curse you to take the journey I have just taken. You shall taste of Death, the last breath leaving the body, the cold of the grave, the merciless Reaper, The Dark Gate, Whether you return to life is in your own hands, if you are strong, you will. I shall not kill you--The Reaper knows he is to take you along the path, not to keep you--unless you falter and your mind dies.

Now begone!"

Shurtu now faced a Hooded Skeleton with a scythe. The scythe swung...

http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/reaper.jpg

[BulletproofDork]

Creepy. . . . . . .Is that a bunny?

Pendragon was sitting at his computer, on the lit net, when suddenly a big, hairy tarantula fell out of the ceiling and bit his head.
He the proceeded to become Spiderdragon, and ever since, he has been ridding the world of evil . . .chickens.
Unfortunately, Superman, mistaking him for Lex, used his laser vision on him.
:(

[Bakiryu]

PAM was so sure she was bulletproof she challenged Superman to a game of Russian Roulette, alas, the bullet went inside her ear! and so she died.

[NikolaiI]

It is very tragic: Bakiryu was teaching herself how to dance in her bedroom, and making up moves, when she simultaneously broke her back, neck, legs, and arms, and died almost instantly. But then she appeared in heaven, and rejoiced- she had been a boddisattva, and came from heaven on this, her last life, but did not expect to die so young. Still, the teachings she left eventually bring the world to peace and utopia, and humans live in peace for many millenia further.

[Shurtugal]

now how can i kill nik... pen hates me for it, and nik just complimented ker. i commit suicide!

but alas, though bom i used to blow up myself fell out of my hand and rolled over to nik. *kaaa BOOM!*

[the silent x]

Little did Shurtugal know, she had been possessed! The newspapers raved for weeks after, about a girl who had started drawing a S with a slashmark through it everywhere. She had carved it into desks at school, her loved Inheritance series, and it is rumored, though the remains were so charred it could not be verified, that she had even etched it into her skin. A note was sitting on her desk in her bedroom, "You must eliminate Nikolai, my AIT, else you shall no longer be able to train under me. Weaken the dragon and draw him out so that I may carve the heart form his body, gouge the eyes from his head, and remove the wings that it holds in such high regards. If you don't have the will to do it, then I shall make you do it." It was signed with the same symbol that the girl had been obsessing about, alas, no one knew what the symbol stood for, thus the village slept in peace for yet another night.

[kiz_paws]

The Silent X badly wanted to show off his baseball skills to his friends here at LitNet. But he'd have to get famous in order for anyone here to see his skills (except for those who lived in his vicinity). So he sought fame and fortune hitting those baseballs. One day, he was practicing in the field, and a shadowy figure offered to toss him a ball. With bat in hand, Silent prepared for a homer. As the ball neared the plate, Silent swung for all he was worth, and hit the ball straight on with a mighty crack. Sadly, it was not a ball, but a gernade...

All LitNet read the news in the front page news and sadly mourned the loss of this fine contributor to our site... :bawling:

And to this day, no one found out the identity of that shadowy figure...

[Pendragon]

She did it her way

There was a funeral service today for one Kiz Paws, and I must tell you it was the strangest I ever attended. All of us LitNetters were there, of course. She lay in a white Cadillac, holding a sign that read: "Non, je ne regrette rien", French for "No, I regret nothing." Then the music started. I've never heard "My Way" played at a funeral before! For a long moment we all stared at the corpse, thinking this must be a sick joke and she would get up and laugh at us for thinking her deceased. But no, the funeral continued with a mime doing the service, and the next song was "Have a Nice Day." They buried her, Cadillac and all to the tune of Elvis Presley's "Jailhouse Rock

[NikolaiI]

Pendragon broke the rules of the forum, by not telling how Kiz died, and the fabric of space time wavered, and snapped, and split him in two. The snap, or rip, or tear, or whatever it was in space time also transformed the world, and we think, the universe. All the colours are different, everyone is behaving different- everything waves around all the time. We're not sure at all what this new world is going to be like, the changes seemed to affect everything here...Thank you, Pen.

[the silent x]

what nikolai thought weas the end of the world caused by a dragon( i will get you one day) it was really a large amount of heroin that caused a severe overdose, nikolai didn't have any idea who loaded the needle, hmm, i wonder?

[Bakiryu]

After X returned to the lit-net all were overcome with joy, suddenly a fangirl flung herself upon him. Alas, she hugged him to tight and he chocked.

(*HIYA X!*)

[BulletproofDork]

Baikryu was reading, when the doorbell rang. She got off of her couch, extremely annoyed.
Reaching for the door, she opened it. To her suprise, there stood Barney, the purple dino.
Barney lunged foreward-cutting of Baikryu's head. . .Then he went outiside and BBQed her head.
Don't worry about the body. . . he flushed it down the potty.
:)

[NikolaiI]

Bulletproof was stunned to learn that a melon doesn't work well as a bulletproof helmet...all of her theories turned out false when a stray bullet from a gang fight hit her. Someone fired up in the air, and it landed on her, killing her instantly. Her killer was never known.

[Pendragon]

Nik, who secretly dreamed of being a girl, woke up to find there were two of ah, them... That is there was the usual male Nik and a female Nik who bore a startling resemblance to a picture Nik had seen made by one Pendragon, the human half of the Dragon symbiont. As both proclaimed themselves to be the real Nik, The Dragon opened a dimensional portal to sweep out his hoard cave. The detritus fell on the arguing two Niks who were now fighting and pulling hair, and as a Dragon's cave has heavy stuff in it, both are believed destroyed, although the Dragon scratched a rune atop the pile and murmured something in the Dragon tongue. Perhaps a burial rite—or not. Dragons have been known to return people from the dead…

[quasimodo1]

Pendragon, Literature Network Guru of the lighter side via the creative use of word and image, might have passed on today but was saved by another catharsis in extremis.

[Bakiryu]

Quasimodo wanted to be poet so much he sold his soul to the devil, however upon reading his poetry was seized with anger and misspellings and his head exploded in a shower of brainy bits :)

[NikolaiI]

Baki was messing around with national defense computer systems (as a virus) and the computer techs eventually figured out it was an intelligent virus with no corereal body. They began to wage war on her, basically shutting down the internet everywhere, and she fled from one system to another, until all that remains of her is a primitive worm virus in a basement computer, a 386, that has no connection to the outside world, or any resemblence of the old Bakiryu. Thus she died.

[Shurtugal]

I think tis my fate to kill you... and it is your fate to die.

nik, hmmm, how does thou die? aww, i just saw how, you got in a car accident, but low, not any normal accident. for it was no accident someone on litnet perpously killed him, on top his car was painted a giant..... B!

[BulletproofDork]

*rubs hands together evilly* I get to kill Shurt, AGAIN. :banana:

Shurtugal was digging a hole in her front yard, when she got a wiff of a terrifying odor coming from inside the house.
She hurried inside to investigate-
-and never came out again.

[kiz_paws]

Bullet donned her favorite melon cap as protection from squirting fruit in the chocolate fondue she was attending this evening. Sadly, things went wrong right from the start. Firstly, the chocolate was not of the sweetened variety, so the guests whacked her on the head with their forks out of pure disappointment of wasting perfectly good fruit on horrid melted chocolate. But then the fun began. The fondue pot started to bubble in an evil boil and the chocolate got so hot that it cracked the pot and spurted out in a jetstream that landed all over Bullet's little green cap and the heat melted not only the cap, but the brain beneath it.... Poor little Bullet, we will miss you!

[*Classic*Charm*]

Kiz died mysteriously one night. She heard the little kitten in her avvie crying so she went to find out what was wrong. When she found it, the cute little fuzzball ballooned to the size of an elephant and started chasing her. Kiz ran as fas as her legs could carry her, but she was no match for the ginormous fuzzball. She was swallowed in one gulp. The only evidence of her was what was licked from the chops of the kitten, who then returned to ins regualr sized, adorable self to hunt down another litnetter...


haha that was fun.

[Pendragon]

A Classical Case of Death

Oh she was a girl with a classical charm,
And as mysterious as the nightwinds of course.
About twelve o’clock yestereve they sounded the alarm,
For the maid was trampled on by her horse!
No it wasn’t the dapple, that one’s far too shy,
Nor the black beauty over there with the blaze.
It was that brown rotter, such a nasty tempered guy,
It was his hooves that ended her days.
Death bring round the carriage, by dusky horses drawn,
And let us load her poor body aboard.
There’s a spot over there neath the willow on the lawn,
Where we shall lay her to sleep neath the sward.
All story’s have morals and the moral of this one is told:
Be careful of horses, some of them don’t quite fit the mold…

Pendragon
© 9/20/07

[NikolaiI]

The villagers that keep trying to kill Pen eventually give up and worship him instead. Pen realizes it's wrong to accept such worship, but he decides that since he is a good person, he can do good with his position. Then somehow he gets transported to the filming of Braveheart, when they filmed it those years ago...except suddenly the film crews disappear and he is stuck in Medeival England! His brain cannot withstand the strain, and he starts running around warning people of William Wallace...and then, of course, a disease he brought with him kills everyone in the 13th century... Pen just destroys humanity. He eventually dies after living in hermitage, and being the only alive Human, many years later. Pen! Alas! You slew us all! But we still miss you!

[Bakiryu]

NikolaiI was so tired he decided to see what life was like outside his window. He leaned, leaned, leaned farther until. BAM! he hit the ground. We shall miss him indeed. :(

[NikolaiI]

Ryu fell after me...:(

And the person after the person after me was killed in a plot by their father...from preventing them from eloping...

What an awfully tragic world we live in.

[Pendragon]

Nik accepted passage on a beautiful pea-green boat with and owl and a pussy-cat. They marooned him on an island with an enormous pig. Since Nik and the pig did NOT get along and there was only enough food for one, they had a battle.

"You're going down, girlie-boy!" The big boar, snarled, cracking his knuckles. (Of course pigs have knuckles. You can buy them in the supermarket!)

"Right. When pigs fly, fatso!" Nik took his stance.

That's when the flying pork hit the fan. Bye, Nik! http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Four/flyingpig.gif

[the silent x]

just when ye thought ye were safe, x returned to dispel the any sense of security.

pen found himself walking down the halls in his old highschool. So much had changed since he left, so much had been added to that he quickly got lost. he looked in one if the rooms to see if a teacher could help him get back out, all of the students turned and looked at him. The teacher, noticing who caused the disturbance politely asked if there was anything he needed help with. Pen politely presented his problem. Out of nowhere, a student in the back of the room laughed a deep murderously, evil laugh. The student was wearing a long dark brown cloak with the hood up, casting the eyes into shadow. Pen never having seen the person, but knowing all too well who he was, became pale with fear. Suddenly, the student leaped across the room and rammed a knife into Pen's heart. Pen woke up from the dream almost instantly. Pen raised his head from the pillowand saw a long blade with a dragon as the hilt with a card attached to it. "Courtesy of a lone assassin."

[NikolaiI]

Hahahahahahhahah ha hahahahhaaha

silent thought he'd lost his mind as his world spun out of control. he suddenly found the city he'd lived in to be sinister- it'd all gone to hell. his love and he had been meeting in secret for months, and the tragedy unfolded as it always does. last night he found himself running through the streets, all confused- what was he to do? i don't even know the story, i just know the ending; when he turned a corner and was met with four men in black coats. he was found shot to death, a note in his hand, from his beloved..."meet me at the docks tonight at midnight"...the same old story, the details trivial, and pointless.

[Bakiryu]

(I wonder what happened to x. He hasn't been here in ages)

Nikolai died when his stalely home crumbled in on him. It was so stalely he didn't have time to RUN!

[the silent x]

Well, bakiryu, I shall have fun telling this story to you as you die from the poison slipped in your drink.
I have been gone for oh so long that I was starting to go into Litnet withdrawals. The thign that kep tme away from this beautiful site was the land of debate class, which through me into sales speech prison who's main guard was Black Belt test. (I tell you no lie, those were the actual names)but I have valiantly returned so that i may get on with my litnet career

[Pendragon]

X was creeping along so slowly that he seemed to flow rather than actually move. His target was not far away and he was willing himself to be silent for the one strike kill. That's when he went through the deminisional barrier and found himself before a massive dragon. The dragon was picking his teeth with a long-bladed knife. X removed two katanas from his back sheaths.

The dragon chuckled. "This is yours, I think. Returning it."

X glanced down to see the dagger sticking out of his chest. The dragon yawned? "Think I have you extra-crispy." Fire was the last thing X saw.

[the silent x]

"thanks for the gift", said X as he calmly removed the blade from his slightly smoking body. The dragon warily eyed the hole. "Where is your blood, every living thing must have flowing blood to spread oxygen to the rest of the body, and to keep the creature warm."
"I am not entirely living." said X
"Live or dead, you shall still BURN!" said the mighty dragon as a wall of flame burst forth from between his razor-like teeth. X stood straight as the fire rolled over him, but not touching his clothes or his skin. When the torrent stopped, again, X was still standing. The dragon settled down on the ground in a slow lazy-like fashion, presenting the facade of calm. Underneath, he was ready to spring. he was a wise dragon, he realized after two burnings, that fire had no effect what-so-ever on X. The dragon needed to strategize. he eyed his quarry. Fire had not worked, what about ice? No it would only cause him to be immoblie, which was no good, because the dragon wanted to eat the assassin. The air! The dragon with a great lift of his wings lanuched himself into the air. He looked below to prepare for a dive to slash and rake with his huge evil talons. Knowing the assassin waited and had an enormous amount of patience, waiting for the prey to show its weakness, and knowing that he himself had no weakness, plotted his attack route. It was going to be a complicated manuever and a dangerous one at that, for it involved several sweeps that came close so the assassin may jump upon his back and proceed to wear his opponent out with small blows like water on rocks. His eyes tracked his path, sweeping over his soon-to-be prey several times. Each sweep, instead of showing the assassin with a clear image, showed him more and more blurred until finally, there was nothing. a voice resounded through the dragon's mind, "Ah, no weakness of the body other than your soul is open to the world, and when there is no weakness of the body, work inside to out." The dragon let out a roar as it lost control of its body, falling to earth. It had died before it touched the ground, there was not a piece of sould, just an empty shell which tore itself apart, bursting into flame, leaving no ash. The assassin slipped away into the night, licking something shiny off of his fingers.

[NikolaiI]

the silent x was found smothered by his own bandana

[the silent x]

nikolai was found with a microphone cord attaching his neck to the balcony of a theater.

details at 8:00

[NikolaiI]

silent got transported into feudal japan, got caught in gang wars and died in a knife fight.

[Bakiryu]

Nikki got caught in a standoff with X. They're still at it right now.

[NikolaiI]

Baki tried to save me from dying in a gun fight, but was gunned down.

[the silent x]

nikolai died of a fatal food alergy he developed while visiting Michigan, USA, according to his family he had no allergy before he left. another thing that was surprising is the allergy was to his food. the chararcter who took him to dinner seemed to be adamant about no one seeing a S with a slash through it on the back of his hands, and, the person in question mysteriously disappeared into an empty wall when pursued by reporters

the silent x strikes again

[packersfan]

X drived off the San Fransico Bridge.
Is that even possible?

[Pendragon]

Disturbance At The BallGame

Was a Packer’s Fan, thought Bret Farve the man,
In attendance every single game they played.
Oh the plays the ran, more complicated than
A Bill written to keep the Congress swayed.
Then it was fourth down, and Packers giving ground,
With Minnesota really on the move.
Out in the rowdy crowd, yelling and screaming loud,
Someone got just a little bit rude and crude.
“You can’t say that to me, take it back, buddy!
“I’m a Packer’s Fan to the bone!
“And I don’t find that funny, would you like to bleed—
“One of us just might not make it back home!”
The ground grew red, truer words were never said:
“Give us this day our daily bread, PackersFan is dead…”

Pendragon
© 10/16/07

http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/GB.jpg

[Zombie]

pendragon was beaten to death by a psychotic teenager after making a comment about the text of the childs t-shirt...

[Pendragon]

Since by definition, Zombie never was truly alive, to kill a Zombie is like gilding a lily. However, Pendragon, in his human persona, had studied many and varied things and knew that since salt would revive Zombies, pepper likely would stop them. Pepper proved to be effective, and the Zombie fell into a stagnant clump of rotten flesh.

[Zombie]

ow man... pepper... not cool...

[Pendragon]

Zombie was taken out by actor Bruce Campbell, making the umteenth personal appearence at a halloween showing of the cult classic Army of Darkness. Bruce, in character as Good Ash, forgot he actually had a working chainsaw on his supposed cut-off hand, when Zombie tapped him on the shoulder and asked for an autograph. Still in character, he spun around menacingly, and lopped off Zombie's head with the chainsaw. Sadly, he thought Zombie just another prop, and proceeded to finish the bloody task as hundreds of lame movie freaks screamed their applause!

http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/GoodAsh.jpg

[NikolaiI]

Pen cannot die. He's immortal!

[Bakiryu]

NikolaiI died chocked my an angry person who also bashed him in the head with a frying pan. :p

[Pendragon]

Baki had lived so long with the pain she invited all the Death Gods she could think of to come get her. The Grim Reaper, Yama, Shi, Shinigami, Hela, Azrael, Mortis, Charon, Mot, Cizin, Anubis, Thanatos, ‘Izra’il, Goryo, and Izanami were all there. Unfortunately for Baki, they couldn't all take her, so they began a long game of Texas Hold-Um Poker. Before long, fights broke out over who was cheating. Ruki finally told them all in a no nonsense voice to go to the underword, she'd just as so live, thank you very much! All the Gods of Death grumbled about a wasted trip and immeditly began fighting over who's fault it was, even as they exited this world.

[RobinHood3000]

So sorry, Pen...but after landing in post-apocalyptic Great Britain, Ash was stricken with a sudden desire to slay a dragon.

Say hello to Mr. Double-Barreled Remington. Now say good-bye to Mr. Double-Barreled Remington.

[the silent x]

i like your style robin, now let me add some of mine

robin hood drops dead for no apparent reason, except the fact that his face now covers each wall (ceiling and floor included) one crime scene investigator found the remains of a barrett M-107 high explosive round. it is concluded that the round came from so far away, robin would have not heard the shot until one second after the bullet penetrated his head. he was given no chance to greet the massive rifle, but merely shot with it.

[Oniw17]

Assassination by sawdust suffocation.

[Pendragon]

Strolling along looking up, wondering why the sky was blue, Oniw failed to see the "Tresspassers Will Be Shot, Ground Up, and Feed To The Hogs!" sign until he tripped over the fence. The hogs were happy, anyway...

[Oniw17]

How small is that fence that I trip over it at 5'5"? Anyway, trying to tag an eagle with an arrow....aiming straight up.

[andave_ya]

One day, Oniw was making onion soup. As he was chopping the onions, he accidentally chopped his finger. You know that enzyme that makes your eyes tear when you cut onions? Well, Oniw got blood-poisoning from it. When Oniw died a moment later he thought the onion had grown and was apologising for the blood poisoning.

[Oniw17]

PAM dies playing violin. Gets his/her hair wrapped around the bow then chokes on the strings.

[the silent x]

onwi, sitting at home, thinking that the trick with th ebow and the hair was ingenious failed to hear the latch on his window unlock and roll open, he also, failed to notice the room getting gradually darker. laughing with himself, buzzed from a beer, he froze as a voice cold enough to freeze the sun whispered in his ear, "Boo"

oniw failed to notice the door opening, he failed to notice the lights going out, he even failed to notice the fire licking his chair. he failed to notice it because he was dead

[Oniw17]

Practicing HKD, PAM breaks his/her wrist and the metacarpels in his/her hand rip though his/her skin, sending him/her on a trip to the hospital. On the way, a kamikaze plane meant to hit the Sears tower is shot down and crahses directly into the ambulance.The wreck doesn't kill him/her, (s)he sits under torn metal for 45 minutes hallucinating(sp?) from lack of oxygen. Then as the paramedic is pulling him/her out, his/her lung collapses.

[the silent x]

you know about HApkido ? then my friend, i must bow to you.

after bowing, whips out a pistol and shoots oniw between the eyes,


p.s. i'm a guy

[Pendragon]

The shadow of X barely showed as he moved along the warehouse wall. Ever silent, The Ninja Assassin dropped into the building and moved to the hidden room where he knew his target to be. A tiny blowgun dart and he was done.

Suddenly the hyper senses of the Ninja sent him into a crouch. Something had changed, though his eyes could detect nothing in the patterned wall of the room, yet he knew something had changed. He reached out with his Chi stroking the surface. Ah. The camouflaged door was gone. That wall was solid, though the door appeared to still be there.

Faint odor told him much. "You have come again." X did not turn.

The "dead man" stood, and flicked away the dart. He morphed into a glistening dragon. "I have never left. Your sensei never spoke of Immortals?"

X turned. "I am not completely alive, myself. I am proof against your fire, ice, wind, or earth trickery. I can steal your soul."

The dragon laughed. "Ah, yes. If an Immortal had a soul to steal, perhaps. You fell hard enough for a simple illusion last we met."

X contained his anger. "You will not use myself against me. I have defeated myself, and there is a way to defeat you."

"All things must end, perhaps, today, I have no quarrel with you. I just wanted you to see that you failed to kill me as you always will. No man, however skilled in any arts, could slay an immortal. I am not certain another Immortal could slay me.

"I have failed to slay you also. I am going. I leave you with a Dragon Scream. The Sonic Shockwave will bring down this building upon you. You will probably survive to face me again. We cannot hurt the other, so learn from this!"

The Dragon vanished as X staggered slapping his hands over his ears. The building disintegrated around him, burying in the carnage. But as the Dragon had said, X failed to really die...

[the silent x]

finally, a match to pit myself against,
but, pen and his power of illusions makes it almost impossible to do anything, how do i know that i am not in an illusion as i think over the matter, ... of course!

not thinking twice, X reached up to a blade kept strapped to his chest. he pulled the wicked blade from it's sheath. "i made this blade to end lives quickly and painlessly. now it shall harm me." The assassin, still buried under the debis, did a complicated spin that seemed to transform the blade. it glowed pure and forced the shadows form the rocks around him. He saw what was wrong, it was a small shape, but a shape none-the-less. he knew it was pen, trying to see what his prisoner would do. the assassin smiled and forced the tip of the blade into his eye. There was a large burst of pain, one too great for his discipline to hold back, he screamed as the blade moved to the other eye. Pen laughed, "why does he seek to injure himself, the minute an assassin is blinded, is the minute the assassin ceases to exist." said pen as shook with mirth. Then a small thought ran up his spine. the smile of glee on the ancient dragons face turned into an expression of horror and anger together.
"Are you there?" whispered X?
"Yes I am." a voice whispered back.
"You are now my eyes."
"I have always been, but i will remain though you have separated your soul from them."
"thank you."
X saw everything. if you can say that sensing is seeing. He felt the dragon lying close. the dragon watched as shadows spread from the place where X's body lay on the cave floor. the dragon breathed fire to disperse the shadows, but they wouldn't leave, if anything, they devoured the flame. "i am now blinded and can no more be deceived by your tricks. you can only affect the sight, not any other sense." the voice that said it did not emanate from the body, but it echoed from every crack in the cave, every pool of water, every shadow and every flame. "i am myself an immortal. your power is to control fire earth ice and wind, which you use to make illusions for your enemies. my power is to replicate and steal others power in it's entirety. i have several more to add to my collection nowi now control the shadows, the light, lightning, fire, ice, water, earth, and the wind, while maintaining the ability to consume souls. you my friend will now burn in new fires." as the walls spoke, they burst forth in black flames, devouring all. pen's body was destroyed, leaving his entity to find another body, and use that to harbor a dragon. he disapeared, but not before looking at X's eyes, both had x's etched on them, but both were still seeing, they just weren't sending the information to X's mind.

[andave_ya]

Slowly, silently, now the moon,
Walks the night in her silver shoon,
This way and that, she peers and she sees


What does she see?

Silent X taking silent Z's.
While he was sitting across two trees.

So what does she do?
This lady moon?

She plays whatever it is Silent listens to so that while he is still asleep, he gets up and starts moonwalking. As anyone who moonwalks in moonlight is open to being kidnapped by the moon, she picks up silent and starts speeding away. Silent wakes up, does one of his taekwondo kicks and she drops him. Silent, unfortunately, plummets to a rather noisy death, as the moon had already taken him rather far up into the sky.

:D

[BulletproofDork]

Isn't this the moment every girl has been dreaming of? When she gets to kill her own sister. :p


When a friend from church asked to listen to a song from her favorite singers, Andya (being the sweet girl she is) gladly lent him her ipod.

Little did she know, this act was one that was about to take her life. For the friend who had borrowed her ipod, hadn't washed his ears in over thirteen years.








:p I keep telling her this is going to happen, but she never listens.

[Pendragon]

Having regained a human form to contain the dragon-spirit, Pendragon discovered that in the exchance with Silent X his own powers had become agumented somewhat. The little slip of a girl that came skipping by was not harming anyone, yet Pendragon felt an almost irresitable urge to kill. He contented himself by reading the maiden's youthful mind and trapping her forever in her own dreams...

requietum in pax somnium

[Shurtugal]

PAM's dragons got mad and ate him... very sad sitchuation. (forget the spelling)

[the silent x]

shurtugal, was shunned by litnetters because of her spelling. she wouldn't leave so they hired an assassin. she was dead within the hour

[toni]

transported in feudal japan, X and the warrior bumped into each other. and, renew their friendship, they journeyed together into the unknown and dangerous. little did X know that toni was injecting nightmare poison on X's fish that gave the latter disturbing nightmares, echoes, vivid dreams of those he killed who seeked revenge. X, who had been sneaking suspiciously on toni making lunch, saw her put the poison on his fish. he then confronted her and on they went to battle each other but toni was a millisecond quicker, she thrust her reverse-edged sword on his heart... we will miss u very much


http://i48.photobucket.com/albums/f214/SweetPrincess89/ZiyiZhang.jpg

[the silent x]

the slight disturbance around X's body should have been a tell-tale sign that this was not the true X. when sword pierced flesh, the body of X burst into a cloud of smoke and Toni's head fell to the floor. X's blade had been so fast, keen, and powerful that Toni's body stood by itself for a few seconds. X had been hiding behind the mighty warrior and bowed his head as the room caught fire and he disappeared.

[toni]

X was guilty of killing poor toni that he decided to save her and when he did, he forgot his precious blade in the burning room so he went hurrying back in the smoke to retrieve it. But the fire was getting worse, X was trapped inside but not too late to pose for a farewell photo for us all...

http://i228.photobucket.com/albums/ee82/warriormaiden09/firetomasoul.jpg

[Bakiryu]

Toni just fell on her sword while cleaning it one day, however as she died she could one mysterious person running, murder, perhaps?

[barbara0207]

Baki got into her T.A.R.D.I.S time machine. By mistake she set the dials wrong and landed in a stone age caveman war. She was bludgeoned to death. Poor Baki!

[Shurtugal]

will i ever be able to kill x or toni!!!!!!!!

[the silent x]

probably not, but i can kill you if you want, even if you don't

shurtugal went clinically insane. someone, apparently unknown, told her that she could fly off to never land. so shurtugal took a running start and jumped off of her balcony, only to plummet 10 feet where she landed on her head. her neck snapped and she died, before her legs touched the ground.

[Shurtugal]

that is a lie i flew marvioulsly!

i was exicted to see that X was finally on i execdently ran over him with my computar.... sorry X. :blush:

[Pendragon]

Shurtal paused in her running to gasp for breath.

"Don't you ever tire of all of this?"

Shurt jumped. Where did that voice come from?

The Dragon stepped through one of his doorways in the air to face her. "Well. Don't you?"

"What do you mean, Pendragon?"

"Ah." The Dragon's eyes narrowed. He raised a clawed finger. "We kill each other. We die, and we stay not in the world of the dead. We return, and slay again. We spend all our time trying to come up with a more ingenious way to kill the other, knowing that we shall fail in the end, they shall return, and we must do the job again."

He yawned, showing a mouthful of great teeth. "Boring isn't it?"

Shurt looked confused. "This is how it was decided..."

"By whom?" Roared the Dragon. "Who decided we had to follow this path?"

"I-I, well, I don't really know. That's just the rules." Shurt stammered.

"Whatever." The Dragon grumbled. He slashed off her head with the claw. "Tag. You're it."

[schadenfreude]

Our hero Pendragon was flying on the back of his favourite dragon, when suddenly, he slid off.

Fortunately, he landed on some very squishy moss growing out of the sea, where he was rescued by passing sailors.

Late at night, Pendragon was recounting the day's adventures when he foolishly sucked the tip of his ink quill. I'm sorry to say that the ink got the better of him.

[BulletproofDork]

PAM was innocently posting away at litnet, when suddenly she had a massive nap attack. Sadly, schadenfreude never woke up. :(




Lame I know, but I can't think of anything else.

[Shalot]

the PAM died from a gunshot wound. so much for being bullet proof. I didn't bother to read through and see if someone had said that already, so to make mine original, let me add that bulletproofdork's bullet-protecting-dorkiness was compromised when too many people began to re-define their definition of the word dork, and bulletproofdork no longer fit into the dork category. By losing her dork status, she lost her bullet-proof status as well, and when the bullet hit her, she was extrememly surprised. She raised her eyebrows and opened her mouth in disbelief when the bullet hit. Then she fell backwards and died. They had to have a closed casket because they couldn't shut her eyes and no amount of make-up could disguise her final expression of disbelief. The funeral directors thought it inappropriate to have an open casket service given the circumstances so they shut the coffin on bulletproofdork's wide-eyed, bewildered corpse

[Pendragon]

Dateline: WE DON'T EVEN KNOW...

It could have been Dunwitch, or perhaps Arkham, it wouldn't be too farfetched to even say Innsmouth, though that rotting town by the sea was supposingly destroyed, but anyhoo, a corpse of a woman, (or what used to be a woman might be a better description) was found near the crick in a strange blue robe. Even more bewilderingly, her skin was blue, and autopsy reports indicate natural hue. She or it, possibly, for she was partially transformed into a fish like creature had been shot, stabbed, and hanged. This reporter had the unfortunate morbid curiosity to see the autopsy photos. I might also have burned the creature at the stake, if I had found it at my door…

[the silent x]

lightning flashed through the sky on a dark stormy night. Pendragon was sitting in his nice home reading a good book when the lights went out. not thinking anything of it, he got up to grab the flashlight he had for such emergencies. Something mysteriously drew his eyes to the couch, not seeing anything, he turned away, but he prepared himself to work into his dragon form at a moments notice, should that assassin show up again. lightning flashed once, but nothing happened. As he turned away, lightning flashed again to reveal a form reclining on the sofa as if it were his own. "Hello" said the form. Were there was a human, a dragon stood and watched the lone assassin with cunning eyes, daring him to move. "I figured it was you the minute the lights went out." slowly, fluidly standing up, the the assassin opened his palm to reveal a small flame, illuminating a face with scar-lined eyes. unseeing eyes. " Does this make it easier to see my friend?"
"Much" said the dragon reluctantly, "i have not needed to learn how to see in the dark."
the lightning struck again and before it had stopped, the assassin had a long blade dripping with blood in his hand. The dragon's head rolled to stop on the floor. The body of the dragon immediately turned to ash, as well as the head and blood. The thunder clap muffled the front door opening and closing. The assassin said to himself as he walked down the rain swamped street. "That should do for about 20 years. Then the hunt shall start again."

[blackbird_9]

The person above me loved his youthful beauty so much that he wish upon a star to never age another day. So that night a giant piano fell from the sky and landed on him. It left him dead, never to have a wrinkle by his eye or a grey hair on his head.

[andave_ya]

Nine and tweny blackbirds baked in a pie!

[Pendragon]

Actions always trancending praise, Andyave, felt stragely motivated to act on dark rainy night. Standing up with aclarity, she tossed her novel towards her sofa, and moved to the closent to get her raincoat. The book moved like a thing possed, bouncing off the couch and threading a narrow path into the young woman's kitchen. The book struck two butcher knives on the sink. One spun back along the path, bounced handle off the sofa, and caught the young woman in the chest as she turned to go. The other spun out an open window.

Silently the blade dropped eight stories to an apparently empty sidewalk. But then a figure collapsed, the wayward blade having severed his spinal cord. X carefully began a healing sleep trance, all the while wondering how the Dragon, whom he knew had not yet had time to reform, had managed this. Somehow, X was certain the Dragon had... Somehow...

[Pendragon]

Condemned as he was by the other Immortals, the great elemental Dragon, Pendragon sought another human host. As had been decreed, he could not take the human by force, the human must bear the burden willingly. A suitable host he found relaxing in a book-filled room. The essence of the Dragon apppeared and set forth the details of the bargin.

The young man looked at the Dragon: "You offer longer life, slightly increased strength and reflexes. I could not die except by violence?"

"All true. I need your body so that I can materialize mine own. Some men have live centuries with me as their "other". It is a fair bargin. Do you accept?"

The man laughed bitterly. "Do you have a clue who I am?"

"No. You are a young, strong male. Your mind is strong. You are easy to contact."

"I am Remington Colt, that's who I am! Do you know how many ghosts are in this room right now?" The young man's voice was a shreik. "45! I see ghosts all the time! I am a Private Investigator for the Dead! You think I would want to extend this life? It's true, the dead pay well for my services. But I am haunted day and night. Get out of here! One come's who says you're responsible for his death anyway! Now leave me alone!"

And with no body to enter at the moment, Pendragon was forced to withdraw into the spirit world. Perhaps another day...

Sad when you have to kill yourself...

[the silent x]

yep pen, that it is.

so with pen being sad that he had to kill himself, and X barely finished with his healing sleep, they both sat in a solitary place in the spirit world talking and chatting, chatting and talking. Pen, in his spirit form lit a fire for the two of them as it was getting colder.
"So, you got rejected again didn't you Pen?"
"Yes I did, seems no one wants to share their body with me, it's all about living fast and dying quick now a days."
"eh, oh well, you still got 2 years for me to completely regenerate, and for the moment, just relax, don't think about speeding up the process, one always comes looking for you, you know that. Think about the good stuff in this spirit world." X whipped out a blade and severed Pen's head, Pen's body disappeared then reapeared with a pop where it was orginally, in the sam econdition as before, "such as that." said X as he chuckled at his own joke. Pen opened his mouth and breathed fire on X, turning him into a pile of ash.
When X reappeared, he said, "Ok, i see your point."

[kiz_paws]

Our good friend X was on his way home from the grocery store, and because he got more loaded down with goodies than he had intended, decided to hail a cab.

He hopped in the car, not noting the blank expression of the driver, dictated his address and sat back while the car took off. Before he could say Jiminy Cricket, the car was in warp speed. In a panic, X banged on the front head-rest for the driver to calm down, but instead the car went even faster.

The last thing X saw in the rear view mirror from his own position in the back seat was a blank face. It was the Grim Reaper himself, driving that car down down down, where it gets very hot .... :alien:

[Pendragon]

I didn't like the look of things I can tell you that. The blonde was a etching on the floor in black and white, with a liberal amount of red tossed in for contrast. Where her clothes had vanished too was another puzzle. Stark in the candlelight and shadows.

From the blood-loss alone, I figured her already for the wagon and the cooler. She hissed blood at me from between white teeth.

"You'll need the divining chart, that circle of wood with letters on the table."

"You need an ambulance!" I said hastily.

She sucked in a breath and laughed bitterly. "Now you're being a fool. Only my will is keeping me alive. They are experts, I'll give them that."

She grimaced and spat painfully more blood. "Wider. Wider Shins. Blast me! Wider Shins!"

Gasping, she pointed at a pair of gold dividers. "Set to skip every other letter. Wider. Wider Shins. Made them hersesel. Go around third row in in by Wider, and ye'll know who killed me."

She died in a couching fit. I never found any named Shins in the district, though several suspicious "Widders" were arested. The line around the third row, in a straight line would go, clockwise from a 12 o'clock [B]Z, R, A, I. O. K, X, A, Z, B, M, S, L, I. B, T, V, I, H, U, P, Y, and back to the Z. The was a small mark but the second I by the dividers told us nothing. Old Wider Shins keeps her secrets

CAN YOU SOLVE?

[Pendragon]

It was the type of night when a cop like myself feels like shooting the next fool who lies to me and then tries to run so I gotta chase his tail and drag him back, when if he'd just played it cool and followed my orders, I'd have never suspected he had cocaine stashed under the seat. God I get tired of that routine!

Got a call about a strange driving car out at Bloodville Curve. That's what we cops called it after finding that blonde a week or so ago. I had fifty nightmares just driving over there.

The car was new, a crimson Dodge Spider. It was parked, which was good as I was more than reasonably sure it could out run me. A young woman stepped from it. Her face was classic Asian beauty. She wore a dark kimono and a red leather duster with boots and gloves that matched.

"I read the papers. Are the tell-tale and dividers still here?"

I must have looked like a first class idiot? "The dividers are. What is this thing you call a tell-tell?"

She smiled. "A circle of wood with letter."

Feeling like a fool, I said, red-faced. "Yeah. They are on the table."

"Then we must go inside, so I can name your murderer."

"Now, lady, that place is like a butcher pen. Blood everywhere. Smell is horrible. You sure you want—?”


Somehow she already had my keys and was inside, so I hurried on in. The lady was looking at the tell-tale, running her fingers over the surface. She stopped by on of the I’s in the third row of letters.

“Did she speak before death?”

“Yeah, I though it all delirium, considering what they’d done to her. She kept talking about a woman, a Wider. Wider Shins, She claimed that this Wider Shins made those dividers to skip ever other letter. ‘Go around the third row in by Winder and you know who killed me.’”

The line around the third row, clockwise from a 12 o'clock Z, R, A, I. O. K, X, A, Z, B, M, S, L, I. B, T, V, I, H, U, P, Y, and back to the Z. The lady’s finger went to the Z and walked backwards to the first I. “There is a mark here. Hand me the dividers. Officer, Wider Shins is not a person at all. It is a direction. It means to go opposite the path of the sun. Counterclockwise. Widdershins”

Swiftly she passed the dividers over the tell-tale in reverse, starting from the marked point. “ I, T, I, S, B A K I R Y U. It is Bakiryu.”

“Amazing work!” I said “Need a job?”

She smiled. “I have a very important one.”

And she vanished and a great dragon flew away, with that car nestled in one of his paws…

[NikolaiI]

Sadly, Pen took his dragon obsession to its logical, delusional conclusion. He attracted a small crowd on the ground far below the office building as he spread his arms with a great cape on, and for some reason a toy car in his mouth, and leapt. You see, he thought he was a dragon, but sadly he failed to master the laws of physics and fell to his demise. Some speculate he was trying to fly with another directive: "throw yourself at the ground, and miss." He failed to miss, however, and died in obscurity, though he'll always be well remembered here at the Olive Garden...no wait, where are we again?

[kiz_paws]

I forgot about this thread -- Pen, that was wonderful!

But alas, poor Nik, he unintentionally wandered too far from the dinner party, where the cooks were madly dashing about, preparing the night's feasts. A huge cauldron of boiling water held dozens of .... what were those things? Hmmmm .... Nik thought he'd take a better look to determine what it was bubbling away, when ... all of a sudden, a burly chef in his whites (which were all greasy by this point) blundered right into Nik. Well, all that was left was a pair of boots sticking out of that cauldron, and maybe a shard of the Zeppelin cd that he had been toting around in his back pocket......

[NikolaiI]

Kiz was driving down the beautiful highways in Canada when she realized her car was imaginary, and just like in the cartoons, it could no longer support her! She went flying off into a gorge and died. :bawling:

[RoCKiTcZa]

Since I have nothing to do right now, I might as well try out this thread and add up to my litnet troubles ;) This is going to be corny, for sure.

Nik went to a concert and saw this guy smashing a guitar. When he got home, still mystified by the magic of the event, he picked up his best electric guitar and smashed it in one smooth motion. When at last he woke up from his delusion he realized what he had done and did the same thing to himself.

[Pendragon]

Ya know I'm really starting to think about retirement and a good bottle of tequila. Another dark night, and empty theater, and a dead girl.

"Well "Coffin"? " I said to the police coroner, knowing he hates the nickname.

"Shut your pie hole, Detective, or I'll shut it for you! Have some respect! Looks like somebody strangled her with her guitar strings. She was a tough one though. They thought her gone but she left a clue.

“3s 4f/3s 2f/3s 4f/3s 4f/3s 2f/3s 4f/R/3s 2f
I name you my murderer!”

CAN YOU FIGURE OUT THIS MESS?

[Remarkable]

The person above me fell in a deep sleep,although full of dreams.When this person woke up,came the realisation that there was something more to life,so Pendragon left the comfortable bed and started to walk a long way to a lost castle most people had only seen in dreams.In the end,it wasn't a castle at all but something much more prosaique,a factory of textiles,so the shock of the delusion created a heart attack...Well,at least Pendragon had the dream...

[NikolaiI]

The Pam died while processing thoughts. :p

[kiz_paws]

Pen -- if I knew more about guitar strings and where the notes were, I'd know what letters you were spelling out ..... dangitall!

As for the PAM, well, unfortunately he died when Kiz's imaginary car fizzled out and she fell out, landing right on top of a dude grooving to the Rockets right there in the open highway ..... All that was left of him was his portable music unit, which was still blasting away, though only the roadrunners could enjoy it....

[Wyoecho]

“Looks like an overdose” I wonder what thoughts flashed through her mind as she checked out and became the Canadian prairie wind?

[Pendragon]

Pen -- if I knew more about guitar strings and where the notes were, I'd know what letters you were spelling out ..... dangitall!

As for the PAM, well, unfortunately he died when Kiz's imaginary car fizzled out and she fell out, landing right on top of a dude grooving to the Rockets right there in the open highway ..... All that was left of him was his portable music unit, which was still blasting away, though only the roadrunners could enjoy it....http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Newest/tq_note_names_neck.gif

My directions were off anyhoo. We can use 3s 4f/3s 2f/3s 4f/3s 4f/3s 2f/3s 4f/R/3s 2f

That will give you the name. I had the wrong fretboard, one for a 6 string bass.

Pen

[Pendragon]

Dang it, I'm gonna retire! Why do I get stuck with all these weirdo cases?

"Yeah what ya got Fred?"

"Well Detective, We got this kid here, hanging at a crossroads. Almost out of our jurisdiction. Ain't been this far back in the boonies for a while."

"Crossroads, eh? Where we at exactly?"

"Well, you came up the road from Platteville. Heading straight on would take you to Grossman, in the next county. A left goes over Slate Mountain into Stony Valley. Right goes into Riverview and the Poor Valley section. Weird folk up there."

"Don't suppose there were any clues.'

"No. He had a new fountain pen in his pocket. Looked as if it were placed there. Also a dried up snake-doctor."

"You mean one of those itty-bitty iridescence dragon flies?"
"Yea. Allus called 'em snake doctors, because where they hung around was bound to be snakes."

"Well, cut 'em down anyway."

Now I left clues as to who killed Wyoecho. Who did?

[BulletproofDork]

Pen died when my pet elephant sat on him. Bad Freddie!!!!! :(

[Shurtugal]

BP died when Jack Sparrow heard that she lived on mars and not the black pearl so he killed her...

[BulletproofDork]

You know, that isn't a bad idea. I'll change my location . . . someday. :D

Shurtie died when my pet lion kissed her. Talk about bad breath! :(

[BulletproofDork]

DUDE!!! I know you're looking at this thread. How long does it take to kill me?! I gotta leave soon. :lol:

[Chava]

just plain died (quick enough? :)) Cause of death unknown

[kiz_paws]

http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Newest/tq_note_names_neck.gif

My directions were off anyhoo. We can use 3s 4f/3s 2f/3s 4f/3s 4f/3s 2f/3s 4f/R/3s 2f

That will give you the name. I had the wrong fretboard, one for a 6 string bass.

Pen
HUH?! :blush: Sorry but I am totally discombobulated now! :alien:


Chava was pacing back and forth trying to figure out Pen's latest mystery murder and didn't pay much attention to the fact that the mat that was being paced upon was wearing thin. So thin that the hole beneath was evident IF one was paying attention. Alas, poor Chava paced away, then suddenly went sailing down into the hole, down down down, where the sun no longer shines.... The last that was heard was a wailing moan then .... nothing ..... RIP Chava :bawling:

[Bakiryu]

As Kiz Paz laughed at her devious plan, staring at the computer screen oblivious to the world, she heard the rustle of skirts and a quick sound "zip!" and as Kiz turned from the corner of her eye she glimpsed a retreating figure shrouded in Victorian garments. She asked "Who-" but at that moment.....her head fell off! cut.

[Remarkable]

The person above me was having such a happy night in a concert of Anathema,but when this person decided to go backstage,things got rought.One would have never thought that backstage people would be so violent,so,on the middle of the attemps to get to the singer,Bakiryu gets hit in the head by an electrical guitar.A glorious death,after all.

[Pensive]

God loves remarkable people. So he called Remarkable to Him. And there He went, as remarkable people love God too. (that's a kind of story one of my good friends would make, I enjoyed imitating her :p )

[Remarkable]

God loves remarkable people. So he called Remarkable to Him. And there He went, as remarkable people love God too. (that's a kind of story one of my good friends would make, I enjoyed imitating her :p )

Well,I'm honoured of the kind words!Seemingly,my death will be painless...Among other things...


The person above me was deep in thoughts.Thinking about the world greatest mysteries.So,the world revealed another mystery,or better,something that no human ever learned how to stop:the apocalipse of ice.Many died,anyway,but Pensive's death was much more glorious,since it was covered by a veil of mystery and knowlege.So the ones remaining alive,decided to pay tributes,since they discovered that in the end,it was because of Pensive's thoughts that most of them were still living.

[Pendragon]

HUH?! :blush: Sorry but I am totally discombobulated now! :alien:


Chava was pacing back and forth trying to figure out Pen's latest mystery murder and didn't pay much attention to the fact that the mat that was being paced upon was wearing thin. So thin that the hole beneath was evident IF one was paying attention. Alas, poor Chava paced away, then suddenly went sailing down into the hole, down down down, where the sun no longer shines.... The last that was heard was a wailing moan then .... nothing ..... RIP Chava :bawling:

http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Newest/tq_note_names_neck.gif

Now 3s means 3rd string. 4 fret. Means take note at fourth fret. That note is B now take 3rd string at 2ond fret. Note is A continuing the puzzle you get BBAB, them you are given aR since R is not a musical note, then another A which has spelled as name Babbabara, Babara . I am loopy with this neurotion or it would have been spelled right.

[NikolaiI]

Pen had spent so much time away from Lit-net that when he returned, the Lit-net members were unable to control the anger from their perplexity at his absence that they rallied, and riled against him, executing him publicly. Then they all woke up as from the dream, and so Pen's death at least wasn't pointless.

[kiz_paws]

As Nik bent over his computer screen trying to make out important headway on the archives of musical giants, he did not hear footsteps behind him. Course, that was understandable, granting the blasting of the music all round our friend here. But at any rate, the footsteps got closer, closer, till at last they reached the destination. The plug from the computer was yanked by the mysterious visitor, and when Nik pulled himself out of his musical reverie, it was too late. The visitor wound the power cord around Nik's ankles, and upon standing up and attempting to escape, he fell with a mighty thud to the ground, never to rise again. The mysterious visitor made haste to leave, but not before humming the end to one tune or another found on the Tarka double album by Emerson Lake and Palmer.... :alien:

[NikolaiI]

Kiz was doing a crazy wicca dance festival out on the prairies late one night, and she gradually became aware of a divine presence around her, when suddenly there appeared goddesses and angels, and they took her with them up into the air.

[B-Mental]

Nikolai passed away the other day, the female GM of the world will mourn his passing...unfortunately it was these same ladies that wore the man down to the bone, and confounded his senses with indiscriminate moves of sheer genius. Nik's wonder at their moves caused a crying for happiness spell...he was later found dead from dehydration. He will be buried up on Boot Hill where his friends shall regale and celebrate his passing. BYOB, BYOD, BYOC, BYE

[BulletproofDork]

B died of humiliation when his pants ripped at a job interview.

[NikolaiI]

Bulletproof died from a stray arrow from an archery session...actually it was rampaging Indians.

[kiz_paws]

Nik came to the frigid Canadian prairies in a quest to determine whether or not whistling at the Aurora Borealis caused them to 'come down'. Kiz tried to warn him about this tomfoolery, but to no avail. Nik, upon seeing a giant pulsating mass way up in the night skies, pursed his lips and let out his loudest whistle, which caused the swirling and twirling lights to ..... to what? Kiz never found out, as she fainted with fear, and when she awoke, Nik was gone. Without a trace. Not even a footstep to be found in the crunchy white snow..... :bawling:

[Pen, thanks for patiently explaining things! As well, I do hope that you feel better soon!]

[Pendragon]

As Kiz turned away she bumped into a well made Japanese lady dressed in a black body suit with blue robe over it.

"Uh, excuse me, I didn't know that you were there." Kiz stammmered.

"I would loose all faith in myself if you had. I am Jade. I am presently the companion of a friend of yours."

"Friend of mine?"

"Yes. You are worried about him. Want to see him?" Jade asked.

Jade dissappearered in a flash of light and a huge dragon was in her place.

"Hey Kizzo!"

"Pendragon"

A whisper-thin blade came out of the thin air and took Kiz in the throat. She slipped out of life in the arms of Jade, now the host of Pendragon. X had killed the wrong host.

[Shurtugal]

the dragon behind pens avi got mad at him and ate him on the spot.

[Pendragon]

Shurtgal had an awfully big adventure afta wondering in on our Bidness propositions. Hated to do da deed, ya know but Bidness is Bidness. We'll pay fer an swell shindig, coffin wid the best, flowers, got her a sweet spot picked out in Wildwood Cemetery. She be taken care off. What youse looking at, punk?

http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Smilies/DaGodfeather.jpg

[bouquin]

Pendragon went to work for my mother! :lol:

[Pendragon]

I was deep inside the woods when suddenly I spied 'em!
I spied a pair of faded jeans with nobody inside 'em!
Oh, dear! I thought, she's done it now! It's really kind of sad.
Who among the eldritch folk could Bouquin have made mad?
But now the tiny lady can make your liver jump your diaphram--
Because she turned into a pair of faded jeans: with nobody inside 'em!

Hee-hee! :lol:

[PabloQ]

Lying languidly in the burnt out village, Pendragon picked a bit of goat from between his teeth with a mulberry bush. Theodoric the Coward, who had run away earlier in the night, not from Pendragon's hideous roar, but from his wife's having chucked a stick of wood at him for farting at the supper table, stumbled out of the forest with a torch in his hands. He touched the flame to the moat of coal oil meant as a defense against the beast that had done the village in. Snapping around in furious anger, Pendragon impaled his throat on the jagged beam of the bierhall. The beam caught enough of the vital veins in the creature's neck that he quickly weakened from loss of blood. As he bled out, he was slowly roasted as the village burnt for the second time that night.

[JBI]

The berry was too sour. Poor PabloQ, he didn't stand a chance.

[kiz_paws]

As JBI was standing there, pondering the sad loss of friend PabloQ, he didn't hear the clouds open up with a musical hiss. A hand reached out and grabbed JBI in a twinkling of an eye. Seconds later he was seen disappearing behind the opal clouds 'mid the setting sun... Hope you learned to play the harp, JBI! ;)

[Pendragon]

Paws had parked her car and was headed for the hair salon when the sky crackled and Pendragon appeared suddenly out of nowhere. The huge dragon stretched himself, and groaned a time or too.

"This business is getting old!" He grumbled. "I haven't found an "other" for a while and until I do, my immortality acts up! I'm usually impermeable, but I took it in the neck and burnt up as well! I just can't stay dead! You wouldn't want to merge with me, Kizo? No, now you die as usual...yeah, that's what I thought, no hard feelings. I'm outa here!"

The Dragon opened one of his dimensional doors and was gone.

Staring after him, Paws crossed the road against the light and was plowed down by a red Camaro...

[johnnotnarrow]

or....

Belive: as in Being and Living.
It is not what you think is true, what you hope is true, what you assume you're suppose to know to be the truth,
it is the ability to live and be, and that is your true belief.

[kiz_paws]

Well how do, johnnotnarrow, welcome to LitNet (I love your avatar picture, by the way)! :)

You have entered the thread where we make believe the 'end' of our fellow posters here (it is all in a fun and light air, of course).

So now I have to 'do you in' --> john was headed outside to see if the morning paper had arrived, when all of a sudden a huge THWACK! The paperboy, who was mischievous and cheeky, threw that rolled up newspaper so hard that it killed john before he could say jiminy crickette!

[For Pen's benefit: "red Camaro, eh?" thought the blonde skating merrily away to a new tomorrow...]

[Pendragon]

Paws was walking along the road dreaming of "that red Camaro" when the car flashed out of nowhere and rand the blondne beauty over again. Now we will have stories on the Canadaian Pararie about "Ressurrection Kizz"...

[Pendragon]

DateLine: Literature Network Forums: Resident Troubadour and Semi-Arthurian Legendary Creature Pendragon was struck through the heart today and perished. Our Hero’s health, which has never been that robust even prior to his joining us in 2005, has had a series of up and downs and seems to have stuck at permanent half-full level. Recent jolts have placed a severe drain on that level so when he was blind-sided by the arrow of “Was-it-my-business?”, fired by a careless hand, it took the poor dragon at a joint between his scales, (where no one had managed to hit him before) and down he went. Dragons being notoriously hard to kill, this may not be his end, after all. There are those that say killing a dragon only makes him mad… That’s just rumor… :p

[Scheherazade]

We have been informed by the Pendragon family that Pendragon is no more. Even though the rumours regarding his demise are numerous, it is believed that Pendragon, being the Golden Phoenix, has been melted by the US Treasury and turned into golden coins to commemorate the end of George Bush's Presidency.

[Pendragon]

Sher is now some place and some look she didn't wanna be, being deceased.

[WhimsySA]

Dear old Pen, after collecting his coins together and rearranging himself somewhat unatractively takes an awkward stroll down to the local ice-cream place to drown his sorrows in a large bucket of chocolate ice-cream. Somehow Pen hasn't managed to connect himself together properly (tail sprouting out of his head etc etc.) and so he can't manage to eat the lovely ice-cream. Totally depressed, Pen sticks his head into the bucket of ice cream and drowns in the melting chocolate... Aaaw, at least he went sweetly :)

[PabloQ]

Whimsy, thinking that toothpaste was actually a cleaning product, actually pasted the jaw shut. As the inner mouth dried and desperated for moisture, tried to drink a cup of coffee through a swizzle stick. Shockingly causing a vacuum, Whimsy's head collapsed into the chest cavity and her heart popped up to take its place. Cupid, on his way to put a stop to eHarmony, shot it with an arrow. There are clearly more consequences to squeezing the tube in the middle that just being late for school. alas.:bawling:

[Pendragon]

Pablo, being lost in the fog,
Died like Moriarty over Richenbach Falls

:D

[clumsy angelle]

The person above me was watching the sunset by the beach when a UFO was seen. The aliens came down and saw him. They thought they could make him one of them but they became too lazy to try. So, they tried to get the soul out of him to be able to communicate with other humans...

[BulletproofDork]

Clumsy angelle died when Troypay drove a stake through her heart.


Sorry. :p Couldn't help myself.

[Pendragon]

Dorky found that she wasn't bulletproof after all: rat-a-tat-tat and that was that! :sick:

[Cellar Door]

who was suprised when a dragon ate pen?

[RoCKiTcZa]

Easy. The PAM got trapped in a cellar for centuries and by the time it was opened, all that was left was the door, which had long fallen into the crumbling aperture, fouled by death and an eerie silence that seemed to be telling all visitors to get lost on Earth, or lose themselves somewhere else.

[Scheherazade]

The sudden demise of RoCKiTcZa was puzzling the local Police for weeks but the case has finally been solved and closed but it comes with a warning for us all.

RoCKiTcZa was one of the thousands of kids, the Police Chief of that town stated, who would like to call themselves Emo and fashion their long hair over their faces as "Emo Rule Book" demands, which was rather unfortunate for this young girl. Having rather long and thick hair, RoCKiTcZa was unable to breathe properly under her long tresses which was blocking her air passages and was suffocated while listening to Emo music on her Ipod.

Her family decided to donate her hair to Locks of Love to keep her memory and beautiful hair alive.

She will be missed and it is feared that her sudden demise will cause further depression within the Emo community world wide.

[Taliesin]

Dear members of Lit-net.
It is my sad duty to announce that our beloved moderator Scheherazade succumbed to the lethal disease known as the mod-flu. The source of this new mod- flu is not known, but it is suspected that it might be a modified strain of the infamous witch-flu. The disease and the reason why and how witch-flu might have possibly combined with mod-flu are being surveyed.
My condolences to the family of the diseased.

[jekan blazer]

05-02-2009 03:17 AM

breaking news!!!
Taliesin is attacked by crows!!!


on saturday the second, Taliesin was murderd by crows. he was posting the tragic death of a fellow lit-netter, when sixty-three million, nine hundred fifty-two thousand, eight hundred forty-one zombified crows sudennly swarmed him... no one knows why the did it, but there is reason to believe the one responsible for this is squawks the crow.. a reward of $4,000,000,000,000.92 is posted for the capture of squawks. he is wanted DEAD OR ALIVE..here is a recent photo of squawks...


http://fatfinch.files.wordpress.com/2007/07/american-crow.jpg

[crystalmoonshin]

Jekan was walking in the woods one day when he was attacked by a big white fox which bit his nose, making it all red and swollen. After a few minutes, it burst together with some nano explosives implanted on it. There was a horrifying boom as pieces of Jekan's poor body was blown up into smithereens. :D

[Nikhar]

The person couldn't remember his siggy, and died, confused!

[JuniperWoolf]

Nikhar was born with an unfortunate condition that caused him to age backwards. He died quietly in the arms of his former lover, in the guise of an infant.

[BienvenuJDC]

JuniperWoolf was unfortunately trapped in her own portrait frozen in time for an eternity. The most unfortunate part of her untimely death was that she never reached 100 posts. (If you're reading this later...assume that her posts meter still reads 99...)

[Monamy]

BienvenuJDC was found dead in a public garden--killed, to be exact. Someone told the police that he was actually there when it all happened: he was sitting on the grass reading a book in peace, when all of a sudden a flying knife found its way - by chance - to his chest and he dropped right there and then. The knife seems to be thin and somewhat longer than usual, with the letters MON carved on the blade.

If anyone asked, I was with you, searching for my lost... umm... tool >.>;

[BienvenuJDC]

Monamy should have known better than wearing loose capes... On a particularly windy day, his cape wrapped around his neck, suffocating him slowly.

Monamy, who was too busy looking invincible with his arms crossed over his chest, refused to change his pose to unwrap his cape.

He will be sorely missed by the cape wearing invincible crowd.

You know...if he'd just watched the Incredibles, he would have known the dangers of super heroes wearing capes (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M68ndaZSKa8).

[Scheherazade]

bump...


Monamy should have known better than wearing loose capes... On a particularly windy day, his cape wrapped around his neck, suffocating him slowly.

Monamy, who was too busy looking invincible with his arms crossed over his chest, refused to change his pose to unwrap his cape.

He will be sorely missed by the cape wearing invincible crowd.

[papayahed]

Sadly, Scher left the bound of this earthly plane today. In her mad obsession to make a house out of classroom chalk she was starting on the second floor bathroom when it all came tumbling down, the headlines read "Teacher Crushed by Chalk". Minutes before the crash a passerby heard her exclaim "Where'd I put those pastels"

[BienvenuJDC]

It has been unfortunate that papayahed was lost in a snow drift...it will be uncertain what happened until the spring thaw...

[Dr Jekyll]

BienvenuJDC, a former war cargo pilot, was stunned yesterday morning after seeing a terrible inscription on his bedroom wall saying that he must return to his former job. He suffered a nervous breakdown after hearing his old boss on his private telephone later that morning and was urgently transported to a local hospital. "He state was quite bad," explains the doctor, a 56-year old specialist on ergophobia. After regaining conciousness, Bienvenu returned home and upon doing so, immediately started washing his walls in hopes of erasing any traces of the cursed inscription. Further details will remain private.

Dr Jekyll reporting for BBC

[toni]

Dr Jekyll, ace BBC reporter, unfortunately passed away at 12midnight in his apartment in London. The newspapers have reported that his death was caused by a venomous poison from his unusual pet, the deadly King Baboon Tarantula.
Dr Jekyll will be missed.

[DanielBenoit]

Extra! Extra! Read all about it! Famous artist not only wins the Nobel Prize for Peace in her work in rescuing millions in the most recent typhoon, and first-time Fillipino women in space, now discovers a means of time-travel! She sets the clock to 1969 and hasn't come back yet. Extra! Extra!

[toni]

Daniel suffered from information overload that resulted his untimely death after finishing the Communist Manifesto in a couple of hours at a bookstore.

My dear friend, may you Rest in Pieces, I meant Peace. :nod:

[DanielBenoit]

Toni once spent a half-a-century reading The DaVinci Code, upon finishing it she discovered that her first edition copy could be sold for a million dollars. That kind of made up for all of the wasted decades :p

[Scheherazade]

***Please Read***

*Important*

Has anyone heard from Daniel since yesterday?

Rumour is that he woke up from his sleep on Sunday morning to find two strange men waiting in his room to arrest him (we are not sure why). Then, they took Daniel to an undisclosed location to be tried and no one has heard from him since then.

If you hear from Daniel or see him anywhere, please let us know and we will contact his family asap.

Thank you.

[Heathcliff]

Scheherazade moved into a room above a library.

She found a book.

She read and read and read.

Suddenly she realised, she was over-educated.

Then the book laughed at her and swallowed her whole.

The book was a Joke Book.

It thought it was hilarious.

[Scheherazade]

The book was a Joke Book.You could say the joke was on me.

:p


Heathcliff yawned and went to sleep. Even the kisses of her much-yearned-after Prince Charming could not wake her up.

Sweet dreams, Heathcliff.

[Heathcliff]

Heathcliff yawned and went to sleep. Even the kisses of her much-yearned-after Prince Charming could not wake her up.

Sweet dreams, Heathcliff.

I'm still that superhero.



Scheherazade typed and typed and typed.
She typed with her fingers and typed with her toes.
She typed and typed and typed,
Even with her nose.

Then,
When she could type no more,
She yelled the words at the screen.

The computer was confuzzled,
Bamboozled and distraught.
It began to regret the day,
When it had been bought.

Then to cut it all short,
I know I ought,
The screen said 'self destruct'.

There was a loud boom,
Then all over the room,
Bits of Scher and keyboard all over.

Though one hand was still whole,
Some keyboard intact.
And Scheherazade could still...

TYPE TYPE TYPE!



I might make this a blog entry...

[Scheherazade]

It is my saddest duty to inform the members of Literature Network that Heathcliff, one of our youngest members, has burst as a result of being pinched on the cheek one too many times .

The incident took place on Saturday when she went to the beach for a family outing. Unaware of the puncture that developed on her cheek, Heathcliff went into the water for a swim only to deflate rapidly and sink before her mother, Maryd, could get to her for help. Heartbroken and devastated, Maryd admitted that if she knew how to swim, she could have been got poor Heathcliff's help quicker and even fix the puncture with a bandaid.

[BienvenuJDC]

***Please Read***

*Important*

There has been a most unfortunate event. Upon reviewing the threads here at LitNet Scheherazade attempted to moderate a series of posts that did not quite belong. However unfortunate though when a slip of her mouse, she accidentally moderated herself. We currently do not think that she was deleted, but only moved to a hidden folder somewhere in the LitNet server. As soon as we are able to locate her in the midst of the moderated files, we will have her restored to her normal condition.

Thank you.

[Heathcliff]

Bien met Jethro.

Jethro learnt of the misuse of his name and opposed, 'this man cannot kidnap my identity!'

So he got a giant katana (not that there is of any relation) and scared him off a bridge.

Then Jethro jumped back into his book and Bien, well, he wouldn't leave us.

[BienvenuJDC]

Heathcliff was sitting at her computer typing just the other day, when her brother's giant spider had ingested some growth elixir. Already of giant size he grew to the size of a table. When Heathcliff peered over her shoulder at the new companion, she screamed running out of the house until the spider was exposed of.

[Heathcliff]

Bien's is easy... He just ate too much icecream.

[BienvenuJDC]

You can never eat too much ice cream...

[Heathcliff]

Only at one am. I don't eat icecream late otherwide I can't sleep. You should do so as well, you're always up late.

Bien ate too much un-iced cream and popped.

[BienvenuJDC]

Heathcliff's many crushes found out...now they are chasing her all over town.
she'll be back eventually...

[Heathcliff]

Bien's crush learnt how to fly.
Bien went to follow her.

[BienvenuJDC]

Bien already knew how to fly...

Heathcliff isn't back from being chased down by her crushes...her mother is worried since she such a pretty girl...but she can take care of herself...since she has a great head on her shoulders. She should be back in a few days though.

[Heathcliff]

Bien doesn't know how to land though.

I can handle them, I'm not scared. I'm a tough cookie.

[BienvenuJDC]

Bien will just stay up here then...

I'll keep an eye on you from up here.
Tough cookies crumble though.

[Heathcliff]

Bien fell in a glass of milk. Cookies aren't much use after that.

I'll be fine. My crushes are nice anyway...

[BienvenuJDC]

You're the cookie...

[Nikhar]

Choked to death because of a cookie.

[Heathcliff]

PAM turned into a big cookie.

Bien, how did you know?

[Heathcliff]

PAM wins the cookie and shares it with me. I get the whole cookie!

[JuniperWoolf]

A dingo ate Maryd's baby.

[Heathcliff]

The kid who sincerely died like that feeds you to a pack of dingos.
:cuss: :( :mad:

(I'm grumpy because whilst people enjoy becoming cookies, babies aren't tasty...)

[lostworld]

Poor dingos...

[Pendragon]

I'll tell thee everything I can
There's little to relate
The Scarlet Shards of lostworld
Lie scattered at Heaven's gate

[Scheherazade]

Pendragon, who wished to have the best birthday cake for his 50th birthday party, decided to sample as many as possible. Unfortunately, he tasted one too many cakes and passed out. Despite the doctors' best efforts, he could not be revived.

The police does not suspect faul play.

[dafydd manton]

Scher, in coming to the rescue, caught a wingtip in one of the candles, tried to climb to get out of harm's way, stalled and came down at Mach 0.95 before asphyxiating in the icing.

[Scheherazade]

Murder in the Bank

A bank clerk in Sheffield has been arrested this morning after stabbing a customer repeatedly with a letter opener. The customer, Mr Dafydd Manton, was declared dead upon arrival at the hospital.

The clerk, who will not be named for legal reasons, said to have struggled to spell his customer's name correctly but failed repeatedly, receiving loud protestations from Mr Manton, which caused the attack on Mr Manton. He was heard screaming, "I'm dyslexic for God's sake! Why can't you spell your name as David just like anyone else?"

The police is not looking for any other suspects.

[Pendragon]

Sher, suddenly finding herself in a place she didn't wanna be was mugged by a group of strange looking people who seemed to walk right out of "The Arabian Nights". She failed to survive her ordeal. Services to be held tomorrow, Friar Pentuck of Robin Hood's Merry Men officiating. Sher is dead, long live Sher!

[dafydd manton]

Pendragon, mistakenly thought by many Welshmen to be the King, Uther Pendragon, but without a round table, was kidnapped today by the Welsh Language Society, and taken to the national Eisteddfod in Glyn Ebwy. On discovering that Mr Pendragon actually spoke with a slight trans-Atlantic twang, and that he thought Glamorgan was a part of Virginia, he was taken to the streets, and there pelted to death with daffodils, leeks, pictures of Max Boyce and small models of Gareth Edwards.

[Scheherazade]

Dafydd is no longer with us, dear Forum members.

It's believed that his productive life was cut short due to an over-dose of endless love, which was a recurrent topic in his poems.

[Pendragon]

The funeral bell tolls for Scher

The Pièce de Résistance was in fact resisted and died in the ensuing fracas

[Scheherazade]

Let's revive.

Please scan the first pages of the thread to find how to play it!

The beloved Forum member, Pendragon, who was a member for almost 8 years, has been taken away from us and his family only too soon.

It has been reported that Mr Pendragon was attacked on his way home on Tuesday evening by a Sworddragon and fatally wounded. Upon his arrest, the Sworddragon seemed remorseless and stated that he did what needed to be done: "I had to settle the argument over whether it is the sword or the pen stronger... We all know now."

Despite Sworddragon's claims of superiority, Mr Pendragon will be missed forever in the literature circles.

[Calidore]

Scheherazade ran out of ideas on the thousandth night.

[Scheherazade]

Scheherazade ran out of ideas on the thousandth night.Calidore, who was sentenced to flogging by the Council of the Another Creative Game for not dedicating enough enthusiasm to the game and contributing for detail-lacking, yawn-inducing and adjective and adverb-barren posts to the game thread, has survived the flogging but, unfortunately, could not the shame that has come with it.

May you rest in peace.

[papayahed]

Here lies Scher. The news reports say she was an innocent bystander caught in the cross fire of a bank robber gone horrible wrong. However, the grape vine is a buzz with the news that the nefarious and ruthless leader of the South Side Bad Lads has gone missing. Coincidence?

[Hawkman]

We regret to announce the passing of papayahead, who, in an ill-advised attempt to determine whether she would rather be shot or stabbed in order to answer a question in another thread, succumbed to self-inflicted stab and gunshot wounds, which, though not immediately fatal, resulted in secondary infections in a particularly unhygienic hospital where necrotising fasciitis and MRSA had established themselves. Rumours that she was subjected to testing with unauthorised weaponised bacteriological agents by a clandestine military laboratory, are completely without foundation.

Signed, The Government.

[Calidore]

Hawkman, sadly, has plummeted to earth after attempting to read aloud his entire entry above in one breath and suffocating.

[Scheherazade]

Calidore, who was sentenced to flogging by the Council of the Another Creative Game for not dedicating enough enthusiasm to the game and contributing for detail-lacking, yawn-inducing and adjective and adverb-barren posts to the game thread, has survived the flogging but, unfortunately, could not the shame that has come with it.

May you rest in peace.

Aaaand again!

;)

[Pendragon]

Sadly, Scher was a victim of an alleged school shooting in her classroom. We say "alleged" because no weapon was found, no one had power burns on their hands, and the windows were closed...

[Pompey Bum]

It is with sadness that we report the passing of long-time LitNet regular Pendragon, who was found floating face down in a deep pool of well justified disgust at the the ways of the world. Mr. Pendragon was an astute critic of his times and the founder of many games threads. Pope Francis has announced that he will be spending an unusually long period of time in Purgatory for both of these achievements. We will miss him.

[Lykren]

Poor, poor, Pompey Bum. We have been notified of his unexpected demise at the hands of an unedited, multi-volume complete Plutarch plummeting towards his big toe. Though the wound was slight, the infection was not, and we, the members of LitNet, will miss both his astounding erudition, and his puns, which were always of the highest quality.

Financial donations to his wife at this difficult time are currently being accepted, and may be given by clicking on the PayPal link which has appeared on your profile. In addition to administering his estate, and therefore collecting said donations, I will be editing his soon-to-appear magnum opus.

Yours,
Kinbote.

[Pompey Bum]

It is with only a slight sense of giddiness, hysteria brought on by excessive grief, no doubt, that I inform the LitNet world that our beloved poet Lykren entered Immortality today; and after asking several angels out, was informed that he was sweet but they were busy. Lykren's cause of death is still being investigated, although police have not ruled an overdose of gentle whimsy, perhaps mixed with a bottle of two of youthful angst. Lykren's encyclopedic knowledge of music, art, and literature was probably only matched by the raw but subtle power of his verse. I say "probably" because I never saw any of it, did you? But his song will echo always in our hearts. He was a truly good man, and such are scarce in this world. Fly now, poet! We will laugh together again some day.

[North Star]

I am sad to inform fellow members of the eruption of Eyjafjallajökull in Iceland, in whose vicinity our well tolerated member Pompey Bun was reciting, when he was buried in volcanic ash. He had written the great Icelandic novel of the 21st century after being there for only a fortnight. Sadly, the manuscript was destroyed by the ash. He has retold it to the residents of Valhalla, though.

[Pompey Bum]

It is with shock and dismay that I report the tragic passing of North Star, the grandson of Ringo Starr, who was eaten alive during the recent reindeer attacks that have plagued Santa's Kingdom all season. North was the first LitNetter to hail from Santa's remote industrial outpost, and brought a fresh perspective to our lives, even if none of us had really ever heard of Pentii Saarikoski. Nakemiin, North, and kiitos! We won't forget you!

[Lykren]

Pause, friends, and reflect; for our comrade, known to us only by the moniker 'North Star,' has ceased to be our guiding light. Whilst gathering cloudberries one fine Finnish morn, and humming Schnittke's Concerto Grosso softly to himself, the effects of a Gyromitra esculenta specimen suddenly caught up with him; though they were cooked, it was not enough. Memorial services will be held on Sunday; present will be a variety of pop stars whom he could have dated, and the walls of the Church will be decorated with the Thomas Kinkaide paintings he never spoke of, but was surely fond of.

[Pompey Bum]

A tragic case of J-pop toxicity is devastating a small community of well read Internet weirdos this evening. Lykren, a young poet and sometime hipster, was discovered earlier today on the floor of an undisclosed karaoke parlor, repeatedly muttering "PONPON way way way, PONPON way," and occasionally adding, "Hooray!" Witnesses state that as the end neared, the young man raved deliriously of transparent plastic miniskirts with little flowers on them and brightly colored stuffed animals of indeterminate species. Mr. Lykren was a fixture at the Literature Network Internet site. "We tried to warn him about what perky Japanese girls could do to his health," insisted a site friend and pompous, moralizing classicist who asked not to be identified, "but after Flavor of Life his soul was gone."

"At least he died with a smile on his face!" added an young Canadian, dressed for some reason as a hobo.

[North Star]

[Pentti Saarikoski]



I weep for Lykren—he is dead!
No more poetry flows
From his head.

His mortal coil
is stored
in the shed.

He disappeared in the eve of spring.
The books were broken, the book-stores deserted.
Poor chap - he never read the I Ching.

[Pompey Bum]

[[i]Pentti

Yeah, yeah. At least it doesn't have the two dots.

[North Star]

Yeah, yeah. At least it doesn't have the two dots.
It does the way you spelled it ;)

[Lykren]

Two members of the notorious literature club 'LitNet' were found dead on opposite sides of the world this morning. Mr. Star of Finland and the unfortunately named Mr. Bum were both victims of overly-strenuous translation tasks, Mr. Star's being to explain the meaning of the word epäjärjestelmällistyttämättömyydellänsäkään to his American counterpart, and Mr. Bum's to communicate the essence of σωφροσύνη to his Nordic partner-in-crime. Investigations are currently being conducted safely in Esperanto.

[Clopin]

Finnish wunderkind found dead in the wake of a heated debate about the nature of reality with a soon to be identified American subjectionalist. Witnesses have stated that after asserting the reality of an objective material world, North Star became confused and disorientated while participating in his daily chores and artistic endeavours; "if my eyes aren't real how can mirrors be real?" he was often heard to remark quite profoundly as he swayed back and forth in the sauna. Though a bespectacled classicist attempted to alleviate the Borgesian philosophical queries (raised in our beloved star's mind by the aforementioned American) with suggestions of good, solid, reading material (Plutarch, Cicero, Thucydides, erc) it was to no avail, and our North Star succumbed to the absolute undefinable nature of reality by spontaneously combusting on April 24, 2015. Surely he will be missed and his passing will serve as a reminder to all of us about the dangers of philosophizing on disreputable message boards.

[Pompey Bum]

A knowledgable art, music, and literature aficionado was found dead today due to an apparent hospital mix-up. The native of Northern Europe attempted to admit himself to an American health clinic, complaining of a high fever, and adding, "I'm Finnish."

"Nonsense!" the receptionist replied, "You'll be right as rain in no time."

"No, no," the ailing intellectual insisted, "I'm Finnish! I'm Finnish!"

"Look Mr. North Star," the receptionist replied more officiously, "lots of people here are as sick as you are, and you don't hear them carrying on like that!"

North Star was ejected from the hospital for alleged hypochondria, and subsequently expired from his condition.

Eeva Liisa Manner could not be reached for comment.

[Lykren]

He was, and then he was not. Noted gender essentialist Clopin has passed away, no longer having the funds to feed himself after binge-spending on Penguin Classics and designer shoes which, it must be said, were rather ugly. The funeral was well-attended, until mourners passed close enough by the open coffin to observe his admittedly handsome, but sartorially foul and dingy appearance.

A memorial melee tournament will be held next Friday; please bring your copies of Chekhov for the group read-aloud. Ex-girlfriends need not come.

[North Star]

Eeva-Liisa Manner? :D Where did you drag her name up? She expired in 1995, so no wonder there..


Fellow forumites, it is my sad and solemn duty to inform you of the passing of Clopin.
I hardly knew him, but to him badminton was 'real fun', and he read a lot of Calvin and Hobbes
And he also liked to buy clothes, but on the internet. I don't know if that is really shopping.

He liked to hear French girls speak, but he could not abide French men's speech.
I am reasonably sure that he would have preferred a high-pitched screech.

[Pompey Bum]

Civil liberties advocate but slave to fashion Clopin has perished in a cataclysmic wardrobe malfunction. Police say the mishap occurred when Mr. Clopin's shirt achieved consciousness and actually ironed him. Alas, it seems that being dressed to kill is a two-way street! Civil libertarians formed an ad hoc committee in response to the crisis, but immediately voted to disband. Sorry, old joke. Despite Clopin's rationalist outlook, his friends agree that he has moved on to a better Canada, where the women are all buxom and the taxes all flat. His shirt remains at large.

[Clopin]

Lacerations Send Young Weaboo to the Morgue!

Was the biggest headline today in the controversial Santa Barbara Herald as local Japanese culture fanatic Lykren unfortunately passed away due to blood loss sustained from massive lacerations to his right arm and hand when he put his fist through a computer monitor after losing a game of Chess to a well known Canadian genius. Upon arriving at the hospital, witness testimony suggests that Lykren could have been treated had he not encountered an exceptionally pretty Asian nurse at the reception desk. When asked whether he needed emergency treatment, Lykren laughed it off, and made utterances to suggest that it was "no big deal" and that he was just "hanging out in the area" before backing away slowly while nodding his head. Once he had left the hospital Lykren entered a cafe where another beautiful girl served him an espresso before asking him in a shocked tone whether he needed her to call an ambulance. "Y...ou too" were his last words.

[Clopin]

Taiwanese Motocycle Gang Slay Three, Overeducated American Polyglot Among the Victims!

A Mr. Bum, recently identified by police, seems to have been the latest victim in a spree of violence which struck downtown Taipei last night at around nine p.m. Witnesses believe that he was simply in the wrong place at the wrong time, having stumbled into the midst of a gang turf dispute while walking and reading his copy of Shakespeare's play 'Henry IV'' part two, aloud to himself. Bum appeared to be oblivious to the tragicomedy playing out around him while he recited his lines under his breath, occasionally breaking into an enthusiastic speech; and one anonymous informant insists that the gangsters would have let him pass by unharmed had he not turned suddenly and proclaimed quite odiously "away, you scullion! you rampallian! you fustilarian! I’ll tickle your catastrophe" at which point he was struck down by their leader who knows a good Shakesperian insult when he hears one. He outlives a copy of Plutarchs collected works and will be sorely missed.

[Pendragon]

We the management of the Le Snoot Cafe, regret to inform you that Clopin has passed away. It has been determined that there was a lethal dose of strychnine in the glass of wine he always enjoyed with his meals. We also deny any culpability in this unfortunate accident. It is our contention that the poison could have been placed in his drink by his dinner companion, a Mr. Bum. There is no evidence our solemner Percy had anything to do with it, even though provoked by Mr. Clopin, who described the original wine Percy had chosen for the meal as "bat urine." In an unrelated issue, Clopin's usually reserved table is now vacant for the dinner rush.

Sincerely

Management, Le Snoot Cafe

[Pompey Bum]

Late Entrant in Picket's Charge Falls in Eastern Pennsylvania

Colonel Beauregard Pendragon, the last Virginian known to have participated in the Battle of Gettysburg, was cut down by Yankee cannon fire this afternoon during an ill-fated dash toward the Union position on Cemetery Ridge. A witness who claims to have spoken to Colonel Pendragon at a local Denny's earlier in the day reports him to have been "nervous and agitated" about his lateness for the strategically important clash. The Colonel is alleged to have voiced the famous "rebel yell" when he noticed the time, adding: "Ah say, ah say, General Lee's gonna whoop the Dixie outta me!" Law enforcement agencies believe that a "time slip" phenomenon may account for the continued presence of live canon fire at the battle site. "Time keeps on slippin', slippin', slippin'," a police spokesperson explained. Steve Miller has denied any knowledge of the event.

[Pendragon]

Unusual Discovery Near Pompeii

A archeological dig near the ancient city of Pompeii has uncovered the remains of an ancient bum. This unhappy person was evidently camping beneath a deserted bridge at the edge of the city, and was caught in the lava flow when Vesuvius went off. The unlucky transient was instantly immolated, but the lava solidified quickly enough to leave a fossil imprint of the body inside the stone. The stone cracked in half, revealing the remains. Professor Pendragon of the Miskatonic University in Arkham, Massachusetts, attributes the phenomena to a small statue of Chulthu that was found near the body...

[Pompey Bum]

British Royal Dead at 1,532

Uther Pendragon, former king of sub-Roman Britannia, was found murdered at his Virginia home this morning. Several partially chewed bones were discovered near Pendragon's body, and a large trash receptacle had been overturned, its contents partially eaten. "It looks like the work of Saxon dogs," police reported. Pendragon, who was once thought to have died after drinking from a poisoned spring near St. Albans, resurfaced in recent years as an acerbic social critic on a literature-based Internet website. Site regulars expressed dismay at the news, several vowing to "drive the Saxons from our fair shores." They actually said, "ower fayre straundes," but whose got time for that kind of mischegas? Pendragon is survived by a son, Arthur, and numerous entertaining threads.