I Just Can't Live Without You

[Beautifull]

this is a poem i made up a while back....(it's a sonnet)


Roses are redder than daisies of white,
You are my bright and shining light,
Violets are bluer than the deep blue sea,
I just can't live without you,can't you see?

As the days of my life become longer,
My love for you becomes rapidly stronger,
And if my life decided to go on?
I would just have to drag you along.
I just can't live without you, can't you see?
You are the only one who can complete me.

In you gentle hands is where my heart lay,
And there is only one thing left to say...
I just can't live without you, can't you see?
I just hope one day you, too, can say you love me.

[amanda_isabel]

is this one of your first poems, Beautifull?

in the final stanza, i think it would be better if the first verse

In you gentle hands is where my heart lay,
And there is only one thing left to say...

were not inverted to accomodate the rhyme.. but i do have to take my hat off on the rhyme part somewhat, since i'm not very good at rhyme rhythm things and tend to write more in free verse.. the rhyme is something kinda outgrew along the way (but you could grow into it..)

i also think it would have been better if you had tied it back to the roses and violets train of thought you started with...

just some thoughts.

keep posting!

p.s. you'r enot the nly one who's got to get Z's.. i'll be off in a while.

[Beautifull]

thank you!
yes actually...this was one of my first poems...
i write al the time, it's just i'm used to writing on paper, and that's the reason why this is the only one you'veread...so far...i'll be busy in a little while, writing up a storm...lol

that's a good idea, to tie it up with what i stared...

did you know that this poem won me fourth place in my school competition for valentines?

hey...go get your sleep...soon we'll talk again, and i can't wait to hear one of your poems....

[blazeofglory]

You are romancing with all through this beautiful poem.

Indeed you reverberate exactly how a lover feels in love.

[Beautifull]

thanks...
i was in love at the time i wrote this...

i think i'm falling again....that'll probably the title of my next poem...Falling...

[Beautifull]

hey Blazeofglory...
you should check out my new poem...
it's called Falling.

[phoebelll25]

I like cute romantic poems and I like yours.

[ampoule]

There is something about that very first line that I like very much.
Love, love. I know it. :( :)

[mukta581]

Unlike it's name it is not as simple.
Hard to prove and sometimes hurtful.
But it has always been there.
It may not always be fair.
But Its beauty makes it worth it
The memorys we share of our time together.
Will stand out more than anyother.
Because what we had was true.
But because it was to strong.
Our was unable to renew.
And i was unable to redo my wrong.
But these are my feelings.
And i see our meeting as a blessing.

[Beautifull]

thank you phoebelll25 and ampoule for your compiments..
mukta581, you are a romantic...
i like your poems...

[mukta581]

Thank You Beautifull!!!!

[dibyendra]

this is a poem i made up a while back....(it's a sonnet)


Roses are redder than daisies of white,
You are my bright and shining light,
Violets are bluer than the deep blue sea,
I just can't live without you,can't you see?

As the days of my life become longer,
My love for you becomes rapidly stronger,
And if my life decided to go on?
I would just have to drag you along.
I just can't live without you, can't you see?
You are the only one who can complete me.

In you gentle hands is where my heart lay,
And there is only one thing left to say...
I just can't live without you, can't you see?
I just hope one day you, too, can say you love me.

Beautiful sonnet! :thumbs_up

[Beautifull]

thank you! :)