Maybeicannotsee

[ReynardKitsune]

i see a dog, it slowly fades away
deep in my moudly bag it made me laugh way,
i see a cat, it made way
it turned to me to see a way
the way which i can see
the path of the great sea
which comforts me like the ocean great waves
flounces like a beautiful chain of frown found in cranes
like the beautiful vestments you see a faint
may thy be the greatest chain
then you 'why see why i like the dogs
who gouge and stares vehemently at me
releasing me from my grip was a terror
which was not foreseen an unexpected tremor
gripping you and pulling you into hell
where you meet the bane of your existence...
my dog...
my god...

[ReynardKitsune]

my first attempt at a poem comments please my grammar not very good correct me please!

[ReynardKitsune]

Old mcdonald,
who thy great melds
in the great demeaning darkness
holding in his hands, was a terror
of unforeseen circumstances should u ever know
the terror it shadowed under the cloak of its
dark robe of thy shall you see what
what every mum and dad fears
oily chicken in your hands
trembling
tempting
astonished
should you ever attempt to answer it's call to serve
as the next farm chicken
that gets slaughtered at an Abbatior
where monks and nuns laugh at your mistake
and you dive deep into the darkness
the darkness concealed
the optimal choice of life and death
once reborned.....
would'ya ever eat the chicken again
gains or gain
fight or flight
ashes to ashes
sun to moon
the devil watches in the shell of a chicken
waiting to consume
the next target it sees

[ReynardKitsune]

listen the cicadas cry
a brave new dawn
glimmering in the distance
an epic new adventure
you grab your friend's-
hands and made way to the portal
where you confront your worst nightmares
an 8 syllabus dog with
glaring red eyes
eyes deep with flaring rage
you run
you hide
you thrust a bear with all your might
your only teddy bear ; your sole friend
you screamed
a maelstrom appears, a revenant with a bear head
you suppose its your guardian
you, with your human strength
talked to the bear with your fantastic thoughts
filled with marvelous wonders
the bear answered
the dog lost all it's vocabulary
and faint into thin air
where the morning
turns to night

[ReynardKitsune]

on an occasion at high school,
a covenanter came to blight
i see his face,
was as fierce as
can be
without a second thought i blurt
gas'who shaer u be king might?
whay insolence !
was the call
that ended my election dream
shattered tears flowed gently
like a water pipe with no cover
then i was enhanced
to be a president
in my next life

[ReynardKitsune]

an empty house
an empty street
an empty screech
i hold inside my cars
i drive to scold days
infrasonic lights
coz my car
what you know
is of sonic speed
also echo system embed
fast and furious
you see
my love

[ReynardKitsune]

friends,
treants
what is it you need?
life, an overshadowed boat
on the vast blue sea
filled with mist
caged in a boat
how can it upgrade?
into a motor one?
you need friends
they are hammers
who help you break
the barrier
of...
a boat..
:crash:

[ReynardKitsune]

another prequel:

an prologue i call it
where everything will end
and fathers will work
and mothers will care
and another morning came
and i walked into a street
in the dark alley lies my teddy bear
the teddy bear that saved my life
i call it tear....

[ReynardKitsune]

flames, a great ember
what you see burns
it has shattered lifes
and left only,
was the empty
thoughts
and ghost
that lives

[blp]

Your stuff is interesting, Reynard. In my view, you've posted too much at once though. My little brain can't take it all in, but I thought the chicken one was full of good things.

[PrinceMyshkin]

You have a spontaneous fresh voice and something of interest in each of these but I suspect that you are not yet perfectly fluent in English, as in virtually every one of these there is something that is not idiomatic or incomprehensible. It would take too long - and in some cases inspired guesswork to correct some of the errors or obscurities in many of these - but I'm prepared to bet that with additional reading here or elsewhere you'll imrove your already impressive use of the language.

[ReynardKitsune]

i am sorry i am new here so i am really very confused about things i apologise for it and i promise not to do it again sorry .
here is my 6th poem done today

(trying to make everything 6 syllabus)

The devil can soulsteal
on the dark path alley
i saw a devil's hand
reaching out to me from
the darkness it beckons
where misery is found
the devil is level 10
and it has gained a skill
he steals your soul, devour
consume and then crushes
you into the toilet
where you face your feaces

[ReynardKitsune]

books are the epitomes of knowledge
years of wisdoms carved on the pages,
reflecting the symphony
what illustrated a symphony of
the soul,mind and nature,
what true wisdom shows
the legacy through the ages,
lost to the ancient
only from applying our thoughts ,
can we truly find salvation
the human soul we derive of
-ReynardTheFox

took alot of effort to do it hope i did it well thats all for today i really enjoyed posting here :p

[AuntShecky]

My suggestion is to read as many poems as you can, from a variety of centuries and forms. It would be a good idea as well to learn about what a poem is and how it differs from prose.

You should learn the basics of English grammar and spelling.
Also, familiarize yourself with the shift key on your keyboard.

[ReynardKitsune]

iseedeadpeople 7th poem
i am just a valk
who swears to walk
but legs feel walky
then i turn to chalk
then i see the fog
what was left was frogs
i learnt to walk
they teach me to walk
they are deadpeople...

[ReynardKitsune]

Your stuff is interesting, Reynard. In my view, you've posted too much at once though. My little brain can't take it all in, but I thought the chicken one was full of good things.

thank you very much!!! i know i will try not to in future and work on one poem and perfect it

[ReynardKitsune]

Newest poem: I'ight'de'coupe

Knights of Light,
Brace your Kite
In the dead of night,
roam the tide
rhine the earth.
the blandness of fight
lost in a plight
flee with flight
whine with spite
pit your spart
ignite a spark
stride with strike
slide with sight

[ReynardKitsune]

In the moonlight
where sands gust,
comes an eclispe
a demean force
thrown into turmoil
a combust of fear,
an eternal flame
the growing menace
of a blight light
wiped into eternal slumber
so, sleep tight
for exile,is here
an epic
revulsion of
fissure

[ReynardKitsune]

A'las the dead of night,
the clock ticks,
in it lies a devil
face wide with smirk
a minion of evil
the complete darkness
cloaked under the layer
of the oakwood
an ancient curse,
an omen that
signals death

[jon1jt]

I really dig the first one, Reynard, having a unique rhythm and style, start to finish. I glanced the others and sense the same. I'll come back to read more. Look forward.

[ReynardKitsune]

I really dig the first one, Reynard, having a unique rhythm and style, start to finish. I glanced the others and sense the same. I'll come back to read more. Look forward.

thank you so much i really appreciated it. :) it really motivates me to know that people like it. it is the very force that drives me to write. i will try to read alot of the other's poems and learn from them. i love your poems too.:D

[ReynardKitsune]

i thought about it and our teacher once did it with us so i thought i will jus randomly pop this one in. to relinquish the old memories :p

Rash and impulsive
eccentric and annoying
yelping with curiousity
naive and grouch oftenly
addicted to playing
revoked love for literature
dumb and nervous at times

[formality hater]

I agree with blp, although I like the flames one too.

[ReynardKitsune]

new poem:

Fervor

i lay dead on bed
where i wed
then i sad
which is wet
that is tared
who is teared
i shall fared
for my dad
and my mat
which is mad
saw a tact
which means fat
then a cat
saw my drag
pull my rat
with a bag
in a bat
lies a fetch
with a kitkat
a fervor

[ReynardKitsune]

jinkens

a saw a shuriken
bounty hunter embed
with a fork
thee witch doctor
*** me w'eath a dock
which saw a ****
that stuns me
in fear
i ran
my brother, the dark seer
saw me he betray me
he throw his ion shell at me
i dodged it coz my evasion is L33t
he is furious
i dodge his dog
which in fear
he throw is accumulator at me
i was thrown into eternal fear

[ReynardKitsune]

ghostwalk
revolving worlds
clashing swords
like a tenger touch
with a rose dog
but when summer comes
who will call the dog cute?

[kiz_paws]

I enjoyed reading your poetry, and the Chicken McNugget one was my favorite.

Just a thought, don't apologize for anything to do with trying to express yourself via this wonderful world of poetry. The more one does something, the better they would become. The point to read lots of poetry, of all forms, is good advice, though. I have a long way to go myself. But we have to keep expressing ourselves, that is all we have. :)

[ReynardKitsune]

I enjoyed reading your poetry, and the Chicken McNugget one was my favorite.

Just a thought, don't apologize for anything to do with trying to express yourself via this wonderful world of poetry. The more one does something, the better they would become. The point to read lots of poetry, of all forms, is good advice, though. I have a long way to go myself. But we have to keep expressing ourselves, that is all we have. :)

thank you for your advice, i have recently borrowed a pile of literature based books and also poetry but i could now find time for them. i agree it is still a long way from it and i suck at expressing myself. so i have to write more

[pbmn]

Oh dude, you definitely don't suck. Your poems are pretty nice, especially, of course, the first poem. Just a little hint, all poetry doesn't have to rhyme. If you can do so and be able to still get across your message, then by all means, do so, but there are many poems where that will not work.

My advice, slow down, write what you mean, and don't worry about rhyming while writing the poem. If you like how it sounds, keep it, don't trash it, and revise it. See if you can manipulate it without changing the overall message, and if so, do it. If not, don't worry, some of the most inspirational poetry does not rhyme.

I won't comment on grammar as the others did, just write at a comfortable pace, and, as you progress, so too should your skills.

Good luck with your poem writings.

P.S. Was the "my dog... my god..." line a little play on letters? That line caught me a little.

[ReynardKitsune]

oh sorry i know but thank you for your comments initially i thought every poem has to rhyme and has some complex words on it i will work on it pardon!!!! i really appreciate your comments and my dog....my god sounds funny to me and i just pop it inside it doesn't have any meaning to it -.- but it means to me that my dog is my god lol