Dark Muse
02-26-2008, 09:02 PM
As I have mentioned before, I am completely enthralled with, fascinated by and obsessed with Ayn Rand's book The Fountainhead. and I have just finished reading Part 1: Peter Keeting, I have not yet gone beyond that point, but I just wanted to share some of my thoughts upon my reading up to this point.
First of all I have to say I love Howard Roark, there is something about his whole manner, the way in which he is so disconnected with the world, and moves through it without giving a single thought to what others things, that is so highly appealing to me.
I love the way in which within the book people often remark that when he looks at you, it makes you feel as if you do not exist.
As odd as it might seem, I both respect him, and envy him. I envy this confidence and his calm and almost carefree manner in the face of opposition and diversity, and the way in which he always seems so certain of himself no matter his situation.
When it came to the Bank Commission that he was offered, I was quite divided, a part of me so desperately wanted him to accept their compromise and the commission because he did need it so badly, and because I wanted him to succeed I wanted him to rise up in a position where he could actually pose a reasonable threat to all those nae sayers that would never take him seriously.
But on the other hand, another part of me, was quite delighted that he did not forfeit his ideals, that he stayed true to his art, no matter what the cost of doing so might be.
I truly envy that because if I were in his position, if I were offered the opportunity of a lifetime that could really propel my career forward, but the cost of it was to have to make one little sacrifice to my art. I think for the sake of the future, I just might have taken it, with the hope that in doing so I would be able to earn the position of never having to make another sacrifice again. I do not think I could walk away the way in which Howard Roark did and so I admire that greatly.
For if he had done it, if he agreed to it, than all the "Old boys" would simply see it as his finally coming over and that he finally "grew up" and saw reason, and that he submitted. And that would be a terrible thing.
If success is within his future, I think it should be purely on his own terms, and not anyone else's.
First of all I have to say I love Howard Roark, there is something about his whole manner, the way in which he is so disconnected with the world, and moves through it without giving a single thought to what others things, that is so highly appealing to me.
I love the way in which within the book people often remark that when he looks at you, it makes you feel as if you do not exist.
As odd as it might seem, I both respect him, and envy him. I envy this confidence and his calm and almost carefree manner in the face of opposition and diversity, and the way in which he always seems so certain of himself no matter his situation.
When it came to the Bank Commission that he was offered, I was quite divided, a part of me so desperately wanted him to accept their compromise and the commission because he did need it so badly, and because I wanted him to succeed I wanted him to rise up in a position where he could actually pose a reasonable threat to all those nae sayers that would never take him seriously.
But on the other hand, another part of me, was quite delighted that he did not forfeit his ideals, that he stayed true to his art, no matter what the cost of doing so might be.
I truly envy that because if I were in his position, if I were offered the opportunity of a lifetime that could really propel my career forward, but the cost of it was to have to make one little sacrifice to my art. I think for the sake of the future, I just might have taken it, with the hope that in doing so I would be able to earn the position of never having to make another sacrifice again. I do not think I could walk away the way in which Howard Roark did and so I admire that greatly.
For if he had done it, if he agreed to it, than all the "Old boys" would simply see it as his finally coming over and that he finally "grew up" and saw reason, and that he submitted. And that would be a terrible thing.
If success is within his future, I think it should be purely on his own terms, and not anyone else's.