AtomicCafe1
02-02-2008, 07:55 PM
My first attempt at writing a short story. I've really got no clue whether it's good or not, but i had great fun doing it. Thanks in advance for giving it a read, and special thanks to those who give advice/critque it/say how it actually really sucks. I hope to finish it soon, so.... uh-huh. Thanks!
Click.
FIVE, FIVE, ONLY FIVE NINETY-FIVE! PICK UP YOUR SPECIALIZED…
The volcano of noise took a few seconds to fully penetrate Shane Amuss’ consciousness. Briefly left behind in an unintelligible daze, the realization of his whereabouts dawned upon him and he lurched to avoid anymore contact with the place.
Left, right, dodge, right, right. No, left. There’s the exit.
“Damn commercial,” he muttered coming back, readily switching the sound off. “Where’s the damn remote anyways?”
The television set had been on in Shane’s one bedroom-one kitchen-one living room- one bathroom home for weeks now. Constantly, almost. The same channel, too- Channel 5 News- Quality, Quantity, Quickness. Woo hoo. He so rarely changed the channel, and this meant he so rarely needed the remote either, save for the muting of the demanding commercials in between reports. But…
“Where the hell is it?”
With this remark, his thumping footsteps were heard thumping to the bathroom, thundering the last few steps when he realized how much he had to go.
One minute and a flush later, he emerged and plopped into his worn out, old couch, remote in hand.
“Who woulda thought, huh Razz?”
Click.
¬¬¬¬¬¬____________________________________________ __________
From the dark, desolate region of his old, tattered couch, Shane arose. Imitating, a multitude of tiny bumps did the same, up and down, from his uncut fingernails to his shoulder cap, and throughout his body. The result of a cool air pouring in from his sliding glass door, most likely. Most likely…
It was the whipping of his dog’s tail against his leg, and the black, prickly coat of said animal that made him realize just where he had unwittingly transported to. A chill lightninged up his spine as he departed his lingering dream state. He came back to see himself staring at the heavens, leaning back in his cross-woven fold-up chair, three stories above ground on his balcony.
“Jesus, it happened again…”
He resolved that this whole situation; the reports, the rumors, the astonishment, the possibilities; he resolved that all this was seeping into his conscious.
And he knew he wasn’t the only one.
Dale across the street, it happened to him two nights ago. Shane tried yelling, but nothing would shake him out of his star-gazing sleep.
“Could it be?” he said, drilling the dog as he himself slipped away from his firm grip in reality.
“Could it really be?”
__________________________________________________ ____
“They say it’s right there. You see?”
“Mmm.”
“Forty degrees left of the bottom star on the handle portion of the Big Dipper, twenty degrees up. The clearest terms the news channel could put it in. But, I mean, it’s still just a smeared, black piece of the sky. You can’t even see it. They could’ve told us it was anywhere and they’d have the whole world looking in the wrong direction. You with me, Shane? Late night?”
“Mmm. Yeah… Fell asleep on the couch again. Razz caught me on the balcony, too. I can’t even remember getting up.”
“No kidding? Josie’s caught me pissing off our balcony before. I still can’t see how I managed to get my fly open.”
“Fascinating.”
The two buttoned shirt-clad men buzzed to the beehive of excitement that was their work, wielding their pointy, bland ties. Another chat with Arch walking from the bus: check. Another boring, uneventful day at the “beehive” of “excitement” that was his work: unconfirmed. Check back for results.
__________________________________________________ ____
The television, pushed away into the corner, nailed so high up on the wall, had become the center of attention at Shane’s work the past few weeks. Originally designed for taking up space, this device had become the giant mole on a face; no matter how hard you tried to avoid it, you always found yourself gazing at it.
Two news stories secured the television’s position:
1.) Riots caused by the gaining anarchy movement of Liam Wells Wynsinski.
2.) The scandalous celebrity Cynthia Love’s checking into rehab.
And oh, another possibility could be the finding of another Earth. Planet Kwa780, rotating the star Lixus, way, way, way over there, could be a reason for the escalating TV viewings.
__________________________________________________ ____
The television had covered live the riots in Germany, live the riots in the suburb of Kansas City, live the riot raised by Cynthia’s agent. It seemed though, the riots had been toned down a bit when the information on Kwa780 had been released.
“Perfect conditions for water, perfect conditions for oxygen, perfect conditions for life,” the head director of this project had said. “There is substantial evidence that we are not alone in this universe.”
And the discovery certainly had had an effect on life here on Earth. Crime dropped, the market dropped, wars stopped. There was a calming atmosphere the discovery had brought along; all day long people could be seen walking down the street pondering, spaced out.
Whoops, I dropped my coffee. Whoops, I walked three blocks past my house. Whoops, I woke up in the middle of the night looking up at the stars.
The religious fanatics had already begun to cry “Judgment day! Judgment day is coming! Save yourself!”
Not to mention the picketers with their “The world is ending!” slogans.
And anarchy movement hadn’t dissipated completely; it was just concealed at the moment.
Nope, Shane certainly wasn’t the only one.
__________________________________________________ ____
“I flossed my teeth for the first time in an eon yesterday. I don’t know why I did it.”
“Don’t start, Shane. It’s a waste of time, no good at all. I haven’t met a normal person who flossed daily in my life. They’re freaks, genetically wired wrong. Who wants to slice their gums open with that string, anyway? I mean, the only purpose it has is getting those damn popcorn kernels unstuck.”
“Yeah, I don’t even know why I did it. I just saw it sitting there…”
Another walk with Arch to the lunchroom: check. Another dull, drowsy day at the “bustling” center that was his work: check, so far.
But that immutable notion may be an exception for today.
As Shane and Arch entered the lunchroom, a crowd of people were gathered at the television. As they got closer, blinking red flashes on the screen could be seen, magnetizing the eyes of his co-workers.
Something important had happened.
For the first time in his life as an employee, he may get to place an X where a check had always been placed.
__________________________________________________ ____
Click.
FIVE, FIVE, ONLY FIVE NINETY-FIVE! PICK UP YOUR SPECIALIZED…
The volcano of noise took a few seconds to fully penetrate Shane Amuss’ consciousness. Briefly left behind in an unintelligible daze, the realization of his whereabouts dawned upon him and he lurched to avoid anymore contact with the place.
Left, right, dodge, right, right. No, left. There’s the exit.
“Damn commercial,” he muttered coming back, readily switching the sound off. “Where’s the damn remote anyways?”
The television set had been on in Shane’s one bedroom-one kitchen-one living room- one bathroom home for weeks now. Constantly, almost. The same channel, too- Channel 5 News- Quality, Quantity, Quickness. Woo hoo. He so rarely changed the channel, and this meant he so rarely needed the remote either, save for the muting of the demanding commercials in between reports. But…
“Where the hell is it?”
With this remark, his thumping footsteps were heard thumping to the bathroom, thundering the last few steps when he realized how much he had to go.
One minute and a flush later, he emerged and plopped into his worn out, old couch, remote in hand.
“Who woulda thought, huh Razz?”
Click.
¬¬¬¬¬¬____________________________________________ __________
From the dark, desolate region of his old, tattered couch, Shane arose. Imitating, a multitude of tiny bumps did the same, up and down, from his uncut fingernails to his shoulder cap, and throughout his body. The result of a cool air pouring in from his sliding glass door, most likely. Most likely…
It was the whipping of his dog’s tail against his leg, and the black, prickly coat of said animal that made him realize just where he had unwittingly transported to. A chill lightninged up his spine as he departed his lingering dream state. He came back to see himself staring at the heavens, leaning back in his cross-woven fold-up chair, three stories above ground on his balcony.
“Jesus, it happened again…”
He resolved that this whole situation; the reports, the rumors, the astonishment, the possibilities; he resolved that all this was seeping into his conscious.
And he knew he wasn’t the only one.
Dale across the street, it happened to him two nights ago. Shane tried yelling, but nothing would shake him out of his star-gazing sleep.
“Could it be?” he said, drilling the dog as he himself slipped away from his firm grip in reality.
“Could it really be?”
__________________________________________________ ____
“They say it’s right there. You see?”
“Mmm.”
“Forty degrees left of the bottom star on the handle portion of the Big Dipper, twenty degrees up. The clearest terms the news channel could put it in. But, I mean, it’s still just a smeared, black piece of the sky. You can’t even see it. They could’ve told us it was anywhere and they’d have the whole world looking in the wrong direction. You with me, Shane? Late night?”
“Mmm. Yeah… Fell asleep on the couch again. Razz caught me on the balcony, too. I can’t even remember getting up.”
“No kidding? Josie’s caught me pissing off our balcony before. I still can’t see how I managed to get my fly open.”
“Fascinating.”
The two buttoned shirt-clad men buzzed to the beehive of excitement that was their work, wielding their pointy, bland ties. Another chat with Arch walking from the bus: check. Another boring, uneventful day at the “beehive” of “excitement” that was his work: unconfirmed. Check back for results.
__________________________________________________ ____
The television, pushed away into the corner, nailed so high up on the wall, had become the center of attention at Shane’s work the past few weeks. Originally designed for taking up space, this device had become the giant mole on a face; no matter how hard you tried to avoid it, you always found yourself gazing at it.
Two news stories secured the television’s position:
1.) Riots caused by the gaining anarchy movement of Liam Wells Wynsinski.
2.) The scandalous celebrity Cynthia Love’s checking into rehab.
And oh, another possibility could be the finding of another Earth. Planet Kwa780, rotating the star Lixus, way, way, way over there, could be a reason for the escalating TV viewings.
__________________________________________________ ____
The television had covered live the riots in Germany, live the riots in the suburb of Kansas City, live the riot raised by Cynthia’s agent. It seemed though, the riots had been toned down a bit when the information on Kwa780 had been released.
“Perfect conditions for water, perfect conditions for oxygen, perfect conditions for life,” the head director of this project had said. “There is substantial evidence that we are not alone in this universe.”
And the discovery certainly had had an effect on life here on Earth. Crime dropped, the market dropped, wars stopped. There was a calming atmosphere the discovery had brought along; all day long people could be seen walking down the street pondering, spaced out.
Whoops, I dropped my coffee. Whoops, I walked three blocks past my house. Whoops, I woke up in the middle of the night looking up at the stars.
The religious fanatics had already begun to cry “Judgment day! Judgment day is coming! Save yourself!”
Not to mention the picketers with their “The world is ending!” slogans.
And anarchy movement hadn’t dissipated completely; it was just concealed at the moment.
Nope, Shane certainly wasn’t the only one.
__________________________________________________ ____
“I flossed my teeth for the first time in an eon yesterday. I don’t know why I did it.”
“Don’t start, Shane. It’s a waste of time, no good at all. I haven’t met a normal person who flossed daily in my life. They’re freaks, genetically wired wrong. Who wants to slice their gums open with that string, anyway? I mean, the only purpose it has is getting those damn popcorn kernels unstuck.”
“Yeah, I don’t even know why I did it. I just saw it sitting there…”
Another walk with Arch to the lunchroom: check. Another dull, drowsy day at the “bustling” center that was his work: check, so far.
But that immutable notion may be an exception for today.
As Shane and Arch entered the lunchroom, a crowd of people were gathered at the television. As they got closer, blinking red flashes on the screen could be seen, magnetizing the eyes of his co-workers.
Something important had happened.
For the first time in his life as an employee, he may get to place an X where a check had always been placed.
__________________________________________________ ____