A Response to Sin

[The Rider]

To God;
We plead guilty,
The fruit was delicious.
But could anything else be expected?
Examine us, if you will:
Fully human? Yes.
Fully divine? Hardly.
Temptation led us by the hand,
Up to your apple tree
Released us.
You made us fallible,
Bottled mistakes inside of us,
Gaining momentum.
I ask you, could we have stood the purity?
Were we to be forever confined within ourselves?
The first bite uncorked us,
Pressure was released,
Equilibrium restored.

Regards,
The Human Race

[crazefest456]

love, love, love
reminds me of ENTROPY!

[Pendragon]

Pressure valve released restored equilibrium? Not the way I see it, but a very excellent poem, balanced and one to make you the reader wonder about the scene in the Garden when man has been caught. Bravo! For the imagery and the setup of the poem. You will go far with poems like this.


Allow me a moment of my own invention:

That Moment In Eden

Behold the fruit forbidden!
You placed us here with this temptation.
My friend, my enemy, the Serpent,
Spoke words of wondrous abilities,
Of pleasure and of wonder, knowledge beyond our knowing,
I said I would go away for a day to think on it,
When I returned, Eve had already drank of the fruit of knowledge.
What did you then expect of me?
From my own body you took a part and made me a woman.
Was I to back away and allow your wrath to consume her before my eyes?
I put forth my arm and drew her to me, ask her if she knew what she had done?
Then in full knowledge of your wrath she gave to me and I refused not.
Oh the Serpent was trickster enough
And his words filled with poison
But Perhaps this time share the blame share and share alike!
The woman thou gavest me!
Was I to have her destroyed so I might live?
When You gave her to me you created human love.
I could not have her destroyed because I love her!
Tell me now who made the greater sacrifice for love
And then tell me again that I am wrong before thee.

Pendragon
(C) 12/22/07

[crazefest456]

AH! yours is more interesting than milton's!!:thumbs_up

[The Rider]

The idea I tried to convey in the last three lines was what I considered to be an original original sin, if you will. While we were made in the image of God would it not be that we would inherit, if not lust, but at least his anger and wrath? Christian culture aside, one can examine the gods of multiple civilizations, those of the Greeks are particularly prominent, and discover that many Gods had sexual desires and acted upon the said desires. I came to believe that if these feelings were present in humans the idea of eternal purity would not be plausible. These thoughts compelled me to produce this poem.

I really did enjoy reading your poem Pendragon, the description of the snake as both friend and enemy was exactly the sentiment I was trying to convey! The thought of Adam having resentful feelings towards his expulsion, and examing the fall from that perspective is also very interesting!

Thanks for the compliment Craze!