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Scube
12-07-2007, 08:42 AM
DISCOURAGEMENT


It clamored up my walk

And fretted at my door

Then groped about my windows,

It's shadows spectral were.


I spied its grim reflection

In a serving tray;

Then turned me soft around and smiled:

It turned and fled away.

Virgil
12-07-2007, 08:51 AM
Reminds me of Emily Dickenson. I like it. Nicely done.

PrinceMyshkin
12-08-2007, 12:20 AM
DISCOURAGEMENT


It clamored up my walk

And fretted at my door

Then groped about my windows,

It's shadows spectral were.


I spied its grim reflection

In a serving tray;

Then turned me soft around and smiled:

It turned and fled away.

My God! Someone could surely make a poem (heck, an epic) out of all the words you DON'T use, but I suspect it wouldn't be one-tenth as witty as this.

Scube
12-08-2007, 12:46 AM
Thanks for reading and for taking a minute to comment; the positive encouragement is nourishing and filling.

Scube

blazeofglory
12-08-2007, 04:59 AM
DISCOURAGEMENT


It clamored up my walk

And fretted at my door

Then groped about my windows,

It's shadows spectral were.


I spied its grim reflection

In a serving tray;

Then turned me soft around and smiled:

It turned and fled away.

Indeed it is marvelous. This is a poem, and presents what poetic is very profoundly indeed!!! What a great imagination!! caught up me!

Scube
12-08-2007, 12:25 PM
Thanks for reading, Blaze, and for your kind comments.

B-Mental
12-08-2007, 01:12 PM
beautiful, I wouldn't change a thing.

Scube
12-08-2007, 03:52 PM
Thanks B; I'll leave it right there!

jon1jt
12-08-2007, 03:54 PM
I dig it, smooth, flowing. I'm with Virge, it's Emily-esque, definitely! Really nice, way to go.

ampoule
12-08-2007, 06:02 PM
I like it too.

Scube
12-09-2007, 12:51 AM
I'm sure you will agree that it's fun to share poems, more fun when they are read, and really fun when someone enjoys them!

Thanks for making this forum fun!