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jon1jt
12-05-2007, 05:40 AM
I work for a circus
a subdivision known as the freak show.
I hand out free tickets when I can,
and take them again.
I smile over the smell of the place.
People consider me the maitre des phénomènes.
But never mind.

My ex-girl worked the trapeze.
She pedaled across the rope,
such an orchestral composition.
"You’re my favorite song, my symphony."
She smiled,
said she was ‘Kinda married.’
she kinda gave way,
kinda kissing me.
And all was hunky-dory
until the hairy woman showed up.

The hairy woman works the turtle act.
Sits on the strongest turtle’s back,
cross-legged, eyes closed.
The turtle carries her across a kitchen table.
The show runs about an hour.
Crowds are hard to satisfy these days,
so for an extra two bucks spectators
get three throws to knock her off the turtle.
The place serves liquor, and the balls fly everywhere.
The Captain Morgan girls show up sometimes to sell the shots.
Chaos I tell you, chaos.

Something came up from the hole of my mind, or I was cranky.
I told the hairy woman it was time to shave, shape up--
‘Get on a plane to Florence, or teach in a town outside Cologne.
There is no solace here. We’re all sinking in the silt.
Burning in water, drowning in flame.
That last part was Bukowski.

Go contemplate the theatre district’s long soliloquies,
Indulge in a taste for subtlety, lost in a catacomb of
books in the London Library, huddle off to the far
corners of a gallery, eyeball the abstract art.
Wrap yourself in new languages like a blanket.
Get a cell phone, do google searches,
become a mole in the mall, do La France.”

The hairy woman gave her head a slight tilt.
She does this when she realizes
life here is slimy, or me. Says,

“But you take mescaline.”
(That’s about the time my ex-girl got up and left me.)

I slew sideways, twitched some. She was right.
We gnaw on each other like that.

SleepyWitch
12-05-2007, 06:24 AM
hey jon, I like this. it's weird!
with this one I get a clearer image of the scenery and plot than with Centuries of Identical Light. so I find it easier to read and understand.
... on the other hand, you describe the circus in so much detail, there's no room for doubt that you're talking about an actual circus, which is a tiny bit of a let-down because there doesn't seem to be any symbolism or relevance beyond that actual situation.
:confused: (er, don't get me wrong, I'm not critcizing you. my own poems normally don't have any relevance for anyone and I like it when I don't have to look up a hundred references to philosophy first before I can understand a poem.)
anyway, I love the weirdness of it

TheFifthElement
12-05-2007, 08:30 AM
"Chaos I tell you, chaos."

:lol: :lol: :lol:

I like it, very imaginative and bizarre at the same time...like a freak show, I guess.

These lines are great :


There is no solace here. We’re all sinking in the silt.
Burning in water, drowning in flame.
That last part was Bukowski.

and these:


“But you take mescaline.”
(That’s about the time my ex-girl got up and left me.)

I slew sideways, twitched some. She was right.
We gnaw on each other like that.

I think :
maitre De should be maitre d' but my French is pretty rubbish, and in fact I think it might be maitre d'phénomènes but then my French is pretty rubbish...or did I say that already? :p

Sweets America
12-05-2007, 09:20 AM
As usual, I have trouble to say what I think about your poem, I think Sleepy and I are in the same boat!;)
BUT, one thing I can say is about that:

People consider me the maitre De des phénomènes
It should be 'People consider me the maître des phénomènes.

Oh, one line that I love for personal reasons is this one:

Wrap yourself in new languages like a blanket

AuntShecky
12-05-2007, 12:34 PM
Terrific topic.
I have a little problem appreciating the form though. Although there is such a thing as a "narrative" poem, a category in which this piece would fall, some of your lines read like the simple declarative sentences found in prose.
This isn't "prosy," but I THINK you know what I'm getting at.

The repetition is great -- maybe you intended it sound like the chatter of a carnival barker.

And the best stanza is the one that begins "Go contemplate. . ." etc. That's very Ferlinghetti-esque. (Is that a word?) In any event it means it's good.

Sweets America
12-05-2007, 01:33 PM
Terrific topic.
I have a little problem appreciating the form though. Although there is such a thing as a "narrative" poem, a category in which this piece would fall, some of your lines read like the simple declarative sentences found in prose.
This isn't "prosy," but I THINK you know what I'm getting at.

I felt the same way about that. I don't know if I liked it or not. It depended on the stanzas I think.

SleepyWitch
12-06-2007, 05:46 AM
"Chaos I tell you, chaos."

:lol: :lol: :lol:


I loved this line, too. It sums up the situation at my univ pretty neatly :p so I can relate to this poem even though I don't like circuses :)

Virgil
12-06-2007, 08:03 AM
Very entertaining. :lol:

jon1jt
12-06-2007, 04:29 PM
In the end the hairy woman took my advice, she shaved and landed a job teaching 1st grade in Chicago. She keeps sending me postcards asking to visit. She wants to go to a circus show, like old times. I tell her that I'm busy writing poetry. Chaos I tell you, Chaos. ;)

Thanks for reading this one, all.

mazHur
12-06-2007, 05:48 PM
I liked these lines the most. These evidence an automatic flow without any 'force' used by the poet.

As Aunt Shecky put it, the poem, apart from its flaws as pointed out by her, is definitely a narrative but at the same time reminds me of 'impressionist'' style as used in art.

Good job ! keep it up.
:)





Something came up from the hole of my mind, or I was cranky.
I told the hairy woman it was time to shave, shape up--
‘Get on a plane to Florence, or teach in a town outside Cologne.
There is no solace here. We’re all sinking in the silt.
Burning in water, drowning in flame.
That last part was Bukowski.

Go contemplate the theatre district’s long soliloquies,
Indulge in a taste for subtlety, lost in a catacomb of
books in the London Library, huddle off to the far
corners of a gallery, eyeball the abstract art.
Wrap yourself in new languages like a blanket.
Get a cell phone, do google searches,
become a mole in the mall, do La France.”[/QUOTE]