i fall

[CdnReader]

.

i fall
into you

into your soft words
that create a melody
within the
quiet

into your soft embrace
that surrounds
my world with
gentle

into your soft eyes
that see my faults
and view me
beautiful

into you
i fall

.
cdn/26aug07
.

[firefangled]

.

i fall
into you

into your soft words
that create a melody
within the
quiet

into your soft embrace
that surrounds
my world with
gentle

into your soft eyes
that see my faults
and view me
beautiful

into you
i fall

.
cdn/26aug07
.


The way this folds in on itself is just remarkable and so soft and gentle in itself. I read this over and over for the sound of it and the feeling of it and then skipped through it catching a word here and there, but no matter what order, all of them seem to support the unity of it. Very, very beautiful. And the reversal of the first and last lines is so perfect. Thank you, Cdn.

[CdnReader]

Many thanks, FF. :)

[PrinceMyshkin]

.

i fall
into you

into your soft words
that create a melody
within the
quiet

into your soft embrace
that surrounds
my world with
gentle

into your soft eyes
that see my faults
and view me
beautiful

into you
i fall

.
cdn/26aug07
.

There is something especially fine, I think, about the repetition with inversion of the initial lines reappearing at the end, the implicit helplessness of them, the inference that you could go on enumerating his virtues but that after all, everything is contained in that you.

[Pendragon]

Even the arrangement of the words on the paper is pleasing to the eye, as balanced as the poem is to the ear. Spectacular!

http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Smilies/PuppyLove.gif

[CdnReader]

Thanks very much, Jer. Interesting that both of you mentioned the reversing of the first and last lines. That was a last-minute change before dusting off all its shiny bits and posting it for public consumption. I'm glad it worked. :)

[CdnReader]

Even the arrangement of the words on the paper is pleasing to the eye, as balanced as the poem is to the ear. Spectacular!

Oh thank you, Pen!! I really enjoy the "look" of poetry, and have been known to search for shorter or longer words to make a piece more visually satisfying. :)

[downing]

Marvellous!!! I love it!
Pen and Prince are right about the inevrsion-it is a great idea!
Wonderful!

[CdnReader]

Thanks, Downing. Much appreciated! :)