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Thread: The Poem Was Always Meant To Be Yours

  1. #1
    chercheur ~Sophia~'s Avatar
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    The Poem Was Always Meant To Be Yours

    The Poem Was Always Meant To Be Yours

    You asked for clarity and I released
    a thousand white doves with ribbons
    spun from my hair to lasso the sun.
    But in the pure rays of streaming light
    you saw only the shadows of charred
    ravens pecking at your eyes.

    You asked for the serenity of clear blue
    ocean waters and I built an ark to sail
    you around the world. Heaving,
    you got seasick in the harbor.

    You asked for the wisdom of stones and
    I carved a temple in your name on a rocky
    mountain top. Standing at the bottom
    you said the elevation made you weak.

    And when I’d run out of miracles
    realized - you were the sorrow
    I would never breach.

  2. #2
    Cellar Door Cellar Door's Avatar
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    This is a beautiful poem. I love the images of hope and the subsequent letting down, as well as the revelation at the end. However, I think the first stanza is stronger than the middle two; the last one is perfect. Nice work!
    Carving lucky charms out of these hard luck bones

  3. #3
    Vincit Qui Se Vincit Virgil's Avatar
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    This is excellent!! I loved ervery word Sophia. This may be one of the best lit net poems ever.
    LET THERE BE LIGHT

    "Love follows knowledge." – St. Catherine of Siena

    My literature blog: http://ashesfromburntroses.blogspot.com/

  4. #4
    chercheur ~Sophia~'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cellar Door View Post
    This is a beautiful poem. I love the images of hope and the subsequent letting down, as well as the revelation at the end. However, I think the first stanza is stronger than the middle two; the last one is perfect. Nice work!
    Thanks CD (hope you don't mind my shortening your name). I will look at the middle two stanzas with your eyes.

    -----------------------------------------------------------

    posted by Virgil

    This is excellent!! I loved ervery word Sophia. This may be one of the best lit net poems ever.
    Oh my goodness Virgil, thank you. Wow, that's quite a compliment (I'm blushing ).

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