New York

[pussnboots]

Anyone who has lived in New York City , lives in New York City or has visited New York will underatand the below:

THERE IS NO NORTH AND SOUTH. IT'S 'UPTOWN' OR 'DOWNTOWN.' IF YOU'RE REALLY FROM NEW YORK , YOU HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO CONCEPT OF WHERE NORTH AND SOUTH ARE...AND EAST OR WEST IS 'CROSS-TOWN.'

YOU'RE 35 YEARS OLD AND DON'T HAVE A DRIVER'S LICENSE.

YOU RIDE IN A SUBWAY CAR WITH NO AIR CONDITIONING JUST BECAUSE THERE ARE SEATS AVAILABLE.

YOU TAKE THE TRAIN HOME AND YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHERE ON THE PLATFORM THE DOORS WILL OPEN THAT WILL LEAVE YOU RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE EXIT STAIRWAY.

YOU KNOW WHAT A 'REGULAR' COFFEE IS.

IT'S NOT MANHATTAN ...IT'S THE 'CITY.'

YOU CROSS THE STREET ANY WHERE BUT ON THE CORNERS AND YOU YELL AT CARS FOR NOT RESPECTING YOUR RIGHT TO DO IT.

YOU MOVE 3,000 MILES AWAY, SPEND 10 YEARS LEARNING THE LOCAL LANGUAGE AND PEOPLE STILL KNOW YOU'RE FROM BROOKLYN, LONG ISLAND OR THE BRONX THE MINUTE YOU OPEN YOUR MOUTH.

YOU RETURN AFTER 10 YEARS AND THE FIRST FOODS YOU WANT ARE A 'REAL' PIZZA AND A 'REAL' BAGEL.

A 500 SQUARE FOOT APARTMENT IS LARGE.

YOU KNOW THE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN ALL THE DIFFERENT RAY'S PIZZAS.

YOU ARE NOT UNDER THE MISTAKEN IMPRESSION THAT ANY HUMAN BEING WOULD BE ABLE TO ACTUALLY UNDERSTAND A P.A. ANNOUNCEMENT ON THE SUBWAY.

YOU WOULDN'T BOTHER ORDERING PIZZA IN ANY OTHER CITY.

YOU GET READY TO ORDER DINNER EVERY NIGHT AND MUST CHOOSE FROM THE MAJOR FOOD GROUPS WHICH ARE: CHINESE, ITALIAN, MEXICAN OR INDIAN.

YOU'RE NOT THE LEAST BIT INTERESTED IN GOING TO TIMES SQUARE ON NEW YEAR'S EVE.

YOUR INTERNAL CLOCK IS PERMANENTLY SET TO KNOW WHEN ALTERNATE SIDE OF THE STREET PARKING REGULATIONS IS IN EFFECT.

YOU KNOW WHAT A BODEGA IS.

SOMEONE BUMPS INTO YOU AND YOU CHECK FOR YOUR WALLET.

YOU DON'T EVEN NOTICE THE LADY WALKING DOWN THE ROAD HAVING A PERFECTLY NORMAL CONVERSATION WITH HERSELF.

YOU PAY 'ONLY' $230 A MONTH TO PARK YOUR CAR.

YOU CRINGE AT HEARING PEOPLE PRONOUNCE HOUSTON ST. LIKE THE CITY IN TEXAS .

THE PRESIDENTIAL VISIT IS A MAJOR TRAFFIC JAM, NOT AN HONOR.

YOU CAN NAP ON THE SUBWAY AND NEVER MISS YOUR STOP.

THE DELI GUY GIVES YOU A STRAW WITH ANY BEVERAGE YOU BUY, EVEN IF IT'S A BEER.

THAT'S NEW YORK , BABY! YA GOTTA LOVE IT.

[Virgil]

Yeah, we're different. Though I never got a straw with a beer. Good post for New Yorkers.

[Shalot]

After reading all that, I can say with absolute certainty that I would never make it in New York. And I am just fine with the pizza we have here. I bet you can't get a real biscuit or chicken and dumplins in New Yooooorrrkkkkk City.

[pussnboots]

if you're talking fried chicken then I'll concede on that one!!

[papayahed]

I love visiting New York, but I wouldn't want to live there. I never thought I'd say that but the last time I returned home from my visit I was very pleased with the open spaces and cleanliness of Kansas, of course I'm not in Kansas anymore...

[NickAdams]

Minus the car stuff, because I'm 25 and without a license.

[jgweed]

You forgot the smell of garbage bags at the curb before they are picked up.
The natural shape of restaurants is a narrow oblong.

[pussnboots]

I'm sure there's more that can be added to the list.

[kratsayra]

I know I don't spend enough time in the city when I start forgetting where on the subway platform I need to stand . . . I used to have a lot of them down when I lived there. But now I'm rusty.