Cold Ale - The Blokes' Thread!

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

....BTW, this is Bean (that's really her name), and that is Bean's Ball:
...

Good Food, Good Music, Good Friends, and Great Fun.

...Well, do you think the cars would like a shirt that has Rustoleum paint stains on it? I got them from painting my mom's car. Or do you think such chique cars are going to look their nose down at Rustoleum stains?

Stained shirts won't hurt the Beverly Hillbillie's car- see album cover below.

I was in the mood to write a short story...

Sancho’s Shindig - a short story with southern seasonings and Pa; a man blessed with an accent somewhere north of Hadrian’s Wall

“Jethro, bettuh com’n din from an loft witchuh clawhammer . Granny’s uh comin from La La land out there on the left coast an she bring’n her pot!”
“Umm doggies Pa we’re gunna be float’n on clouds agin?”
“Not that kind of pot you worthless pile of chaff, I aim to be talk’n uhbowter vittles pot.”
“We’re all going down to Sancho’s farm….

(Pa pauses for a moment, looks out the barn door toward the crick, his mind takes him to another time and place and quietly but involuntarily recites the following)

I'm going on down to Yasgur's Farm,
I'm gonna join in a rock and roll band.
I'm gonna camp out on the land.
I'm gonna try and get my soul free.
(Joni Mitchell)

“Whus tha Pa?”

“I don’t’t rightly know boy, I’m supposen my noggin took a stroll through old fields of Heather – right then, now come on down from an loft weedyuh 5 string - we have a heap ‘o eat’n an clawhammering to get at!”

The End

Granny's Vittles:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1A7YxC6tpHI






Some fine claw hammerin by Steve Martin:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l31MSpojWTA

Wonderful tune for a Sunday morning (starts about 2:30)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5bcO1svqh_Q

.

[Paulclem]

It's going to be a great party.

How about Clapton and Cale for some live music?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5WUeOEkl270

Have we talked novelty acts before things liven up later on?


Got a clown phobia?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rrGjwnH6nbY

Or we could go with something more conventional.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5FBF2zJxpPY

Whoaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Sancho]

Excellent story, Gill. I've always liked the clawhammer style. In fact I own an old open-back banjo that's got a chunky old-timey sound. It sounds better if you pick it with two fingers, Don Reno style. Mostly I use it to scare the cat.

The best way to listen to that kind of music is with a bare-foot hippie chick and a jug of sweet red wine at a music festival up in the Blue Ridge Mountains. I gar-un-tee.

I'm thinking this shebang-a-bang is getting big enough to run from Mayday through Cinco de Mayo. Aiy Chihuahua!

As for the Circ de Soleil acrobats, Paul, that clip was pretty cool, but can they play Lake Idiot?

[prendrelemick]

Stained shirts won't hurt the Beverly Hillbillie's car- see album cover below.

I was in the mood to write a short story...

Sancho’s Shindig - a short story with southern seasonings and Pa; a man blessed with an accent somewhere north of Hadrian’s Wall

“Jethro, bettuh com’n din from an loft witchuh clawhammer . Granny’s uh comin from La La land out there on the left coast an she bring’n her pot!”
“Umm doggies Pa we’re gunna be float’n on clouds agin?”
“Not that kind of pot you worthless pile of chaff, I aim to be talk’n uhbowter vittles pot.”
“We’re all going down to Sancho’s farm….

(Pa pauses for a moment, looks out the barn door toward the crick, his mind takes him to another time and place and quietly but involuntarily recites the following)

I'm going on down to Yasgur's Farm,
I'm gonna join in a rock and roll band.
I'm gonna camp out on the land.
I'm gonna try and get my soul free.
(Joni Mitchell)

“Whus tha Pa?”

“I don’t’t rightly know boy, I’m supposen my noggin took a stroll through old fields of Heather – right then, now come on down from an loft weedyuh 5 string - we have a heap ‘o eat’n an clawhammering to get at!”

The End

Granny's Vittles:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1A7YxC6tpHI






Some fine claw hammerin by Steve Martin:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l31MSpojWTA

Wonderful tune for a Sunday morning (starts about 2:30)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5bcO1svqh_Q

.

Whadaya mean The End!

That's a post in the fine liter-ity tradition of this thread.

[The Atheist]

Ah, well, it turns out all my clothes have stains on them...some of them are rather embarrassing, and I have no idea what they are.

Well, do you think the cars would like a shirt that has Rustoleum paint stains on it? I got them from painting my mom's car. Or do you think such chique cars are going to look their nose down at Rustoleum stains?

No self-respecting car is going to look down its bumper at Rustoleum. Rust never sleeps. Shall we get Neil Young along? Not enough stoners, I'd have thought.

It's going to be a great party.

How about Clapton and Cale for some live music?

We can squeeze them in, I guess. Can't leave God out, can we?

Have we talked novelty acts before things liven up later on?

Hell yeah! We've already got Silent and the Belly Dancers - bring it on!

Starts in 28 hours, and I get first drinks. In fact. given the time difference, I'll be under the table before you start.

[Hawkman]

Paul: Well I'm all for Live music: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U_2njtHamIM

Bags I Alison Kraus though I can't help wondering why NASA spent all that money on the Vomit Comet when all they needed for weightlessness training was a big see-saw with a couple of rings on the ends....

That clown is definitely the spawn of Satan!

Sancho: Yeah, I got a banjo too. Clawhammer's a style I haven't mastered yet, but I can get by just pickin' (provided it isn't too complicated.) Wish I could find the tab for Ron Block's version of the above song.

[SilentMute]

I think we need some comedians definitely. After all, parties inevitably produce some tense situations when somebody--usually drunk--says something awkward. It might be nice if a comedian can diffuse the situation...and this one likes her booze.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1_wWJ-_4uSY

Of course, I don't know what we'll do if it is her that causes the situation, but....

[Sancho]

Haha, Wanda cracks me up.

So if we're bringing comedians, we gotta have Bill Burr. Here's Bill dissing Oprah and Lance:

http://youtu.be/O9YL04v-J5U

And since El Sancho's farm is in the South, here's Bill on Southern People:

http://youtu.be/HE3CHLx9Jdw

Also, for music in the wee hours, I'm thinking we need to get Norah. Norah Jones, Easy Living:

http://youtu.be/u3S5rXpo47w

[Sancho]

...Yeah, I got a banjo too. Clawhammer's a style I haven't mastered yet, but I can get by just pickin' (provided it isn't too complicated.) Wish I could find the tab for Ron Block's version of the above song.

Hawk! Splendid! I knew there was at least one other person on this forum with the recessive banjo-gene. Bring your instrument. We're puttin' a band together.

[MarkBastable]

I can contribute guitar or, at a push, ukelele.



Also vocals, though in my experience what you need at the mike on these occasions is a groovy chick.

[SilentMute]

This girl may come cheaper than Cirque du Soleil and is just as entertaining:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C1OcmeFb1bs

Of course, if you guys decide to play that game where you carry a cherry in your butt cheeks and try to plop it in a glass of beer...I hope you understand if I bet on her being better at it than you.

[Hawkman]

Now she's a fine bendy girl. Do you think she'd be susceptible to the influence of a couple of bottles of the family's premier label meths? But hey, that's one hell of a cherry!

Sancho: sure, I can bring it along. Always up for a jam...

[soundofmusic]

You know, I never rated her and still don't.

I can think of a thousand better-looking women immediately. If she comes, she can sit with Hoff in the corner bar.

In fact, I think I'll get Parker to screen the place off a wee bit, so all the unwelcome guests can sit way out in the back garden room. The place has been over-run by geraniums in the last couple of years, so is about right for a bunch of blow-hard, no-talent bums.

You, my dear, have any damn table you like! I'm getting it all set up for you ready for when you finish the Weekend shift. I can arrange for tightly-clad young men to serve you..... drinks, if you like.

Thank you, Atheist, I think Pam will look perfect somewhere with Geraniums around her. I hear she plans to invite Tommy Lee, they'll probably be smoking the geraniums and drinking all the poor grade hooch with Lindsey Loohan...wait, did she break out of the clinic again? I will take that little blond bloke Mark put up with the snow falling on him...if he hasn't aged, that is.

Music.

Open to suggestions here, and as Mick has banned Coldplay, I'll add in U2*, any singer under 25, aside from Adele as people that may not be invited.

Other than that, I will add in both The Pogues - if MacGowan is ablt to be sobered up enough to sing, and Mumford & Sons, to whom I've wanted to drink beer for some time. They've got an amazing sound.

We've got about 299 hours of mujsic to fill, so bring them on!

I love coldplay! Oh and Gweneth Paltrows little bloke...what's his name?

Here's a few we can toss in:

"No Show Jones" (RIP George - passed away today)... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Onfce-UNmmE

Bowie and Bauhaus:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pBQ-S6njQQw

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NoE_HcpzrBI




Don't forget Herbie:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=unXUq2xWT8c

.

You mean George only just died, I'm always amazed how long these folks lived. I just saw Maggie Smith in some soap one of the lit ladies turned me on to...I thought sure she had passed along after the HP series.

I'm going to have to veto OMD. If you look at the fine print of the constitution - which is written on a beermat now preserved in marrowjelly in a jar beside the pickled eggs - you'll see that I am entitled to do so under the provision by which profoundly considered critical assessment ("...what a couple of talentless Scouse wankers...") trumps 80s nostalgia ("....I got laid because I had a shirt like the one with the curly hair...").

However, I'll second the blackballing of U2, and I'll raise you Simple Minds.

I'd like this lot to be there...



Apart from that being just about the best dumb popsong ever written, it was always considered, as you can tell from the video, a "blokes' song" - hence that dance with the shoulders, where we lads could have an unselfconscious relaxed time in a manly, all-chaps-together sort of way, enjoying masculine fellowship and goodhearted, healthy rough-and-tumble, with absolutely no implication of anything untoward, and certainly without the slightest sense that if any of us had even a slim chance of pulling a bird there's no way we'd be wasting time dancing with each other like that.

As for cars, I'd nominate this one....



..and this one...



..and this one...



...but mostly this one....

I'm surprised Lennons car didn't break down in rebellion for that wild paint job.

Mark: Oh dear! I've spent nearly my whole life trying to forget 70's fashion! I think I'll probably have to agree with you when it comes to OMD though. Very dreary and angst ridden. Not in the least appropriate to a Hoe Down What we need is the Soggy Bottom Boys! We might regret it if we invite these guys though.

Now about those cars...

I'm definitely inviting



Although the characters in it are definitely on the list to play Lake Idiot. I mean, it's such a poignant image, the last few bubbles coming up around the soggy masks floating on the surface and then the slow submergence of those capes...

This one's definitely got something



As indeed does this one



Ok, So this may not actually be a car, but it has a certain charm...

Love the batmobile, but leave anne home, I don't need any ingénue competition.

Just in case we need to take this shebang mobile, I've rounded up Ken Kesey's Further Bus:



Now we just need a few psychoactive supplements.



Concerning the 70s, I agree, Hawk - tackiest decade in human history.

As for the Deliverance clip - "Paddle faster. I hear banjo music." Or as Jeff Foxworthy quipped during the '96 Olympics in Atlanta, "Better not have the bicycling competition up on the Chattahoochee. I mean, Burt Reynolds couldn't even make it up there. How'd'ya expect a Frenchman in tights to do?" (something along those lines, anyway)

[

[Sancho]

I can contribute guitar or, at a push, ukelele.



Also vocals, though in my experience what you need at the mike on these occasions is a groovy chick.

The band is really coming together now. As we speak, Sancho's old lady is feverishly setting up the sound stage (actually what she's doing is sweeping out the hay loft). I've gassed up the generator so's we can power up a couple of Marshall Stacks (I figure there's no reason the whole county shouldn't enjoy the music). And the warm-up band is out there right now testing the equipment:

http://youtu.be/eZ7W9yG7InQ

^ they try so hard

Anyway, with what we've got so far, we're gonna need somebody to play the low stuff. Does anybody here have a big bass fiddle, or a baritone sax, or a tuba, or something. That reminds me: a horn section would be good. As it stands right now, all I've got is my neighbor Duane who says he'll bring his kazoo. Also, does anyone here play piano? I've got an old upright that I won with a straight-flush in a cathouse near Reno a while back, but I don't know how to play it. < Okay, that's a fib. I just thought it sounded good. I do own an electronic Yamaha Keyboard, though, but the only regular use it gets is by the cat, who likes to walk across keys every morning around 3am. (She's probably getting me back for chasing her around the house with my banjo.)

Hawk, some of most fun I've ever had in my life is during impromptu jam sessions with total strangers. Something will click and it all seems to work, regardless of the odd mix of regular and improvised musical instruments. Alcohol helps.

[The Atheist]

I love coldplay! Oh and Gweneth Paltrows little bloke...what's his name?

Oh, we can do a deal there! You have him and I'll have her.

I've got an old upright that I won with a straight-flush in a cathouse near Reno a while back, but I don't know how to play it....

Hawk, some of most fun I've ever had in my life is during impromptu jam sessions with total strangers. Something will click and it all seems to work, regardless of the odd mix of regular and improvised musical instruments. Alcohol helps.

Gold!

I'm tired and it's only been the first night.

A jam session sounds just right for later.