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Last edited by smerdyakov; 08-16-2012 at 02:40 PM.
Good start, compelling POV. I'm not going to call you out on the grammatical
errors and the lower case "i" as they are appropriate to the first-person narrator whom you endowed with a believable, strong voice. Everything about this "rings true."
(So far.)
Looking forward to the next part!
Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine...
I'm interested too Smer. Agree there is some 'grammy errors' but they can all be tidied up. Good start to an interesting story!
Before sunlight can shine through a window, the blinds must be raised - American Proverb
Yes, it's a good start. It seems to offer a 'certain authenticity.' Let's hope for more.
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Last edited by smerdyakov; 08-07-2012 at 02:45 PM.
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