Baseball Fever... CATCH IT!

[Sancho]

I've grown up right next to St. Louis, home of the Cardinals. I'm sure any even moderate baseball fan knows St. Louis's reputation of being a baseball town. Opening day is a bigger holiday than Christmas around here, if one were to judge by the news coverage, and I'm not exaggerating. That being said. . .

I HATE BASEBALL.

I really, really do. It's so boring, and he amount players are paid for playing a child's game is insane. I root for The Cards to lose for the simple reason that if they do, it's that much less time I have to hear about them.

Okay, I'll bite.

MM, you don’t understand. Baseball is the game of life. It’s as much like a children’s game as James Joyce is like Dr. Seuss. Baseball has everything: tactics, strategy, politics, pathos, ethos, mythos, plot, tension, drama, history, philosophy, love, and hate. It’s the sort of thing that makes us human.

Now football, that’s a sport for complete imbeciles.

Also, the Cards suck horse c*ck.

[Mutatis-Mutandis]

One could apply any number of hyperbolic adjectives to even the lamest of subjects if one were to try.

Are you really saying baseball has more tactics than football? Are you really saying that? There's nothing to baseball. You hit a ball, run around bases while someone attempts to catch the ball and get the runner out. That's it. WOW! What complexity! Football, now that actually has tactics, configurations, planning, strategy. Plus, the players are actually tough. I've seen baseball players injure themselves when running. RUNNING! They're a bunch of overpaid pussies.

I agree that baseball is what makes us human, though. Humans are generally idiots, so that baseball is the American pastime comes as no surprise.

Though only sport worse than baseball is NASCAR, though I'd hesitate to even call that a sport.

And, yeah, the Cards suck ****. I thought I we pretty clear on that point.

[Sancho]

^

Now football, that’s a sport for complete imbeciles.

See what I mean.

All kidding aside, football fans aren’t really imbeciles and the Cards don’t really suck horse c*ck. I’ve enjoyed many a fine fall afternoon on the gridiron and many a fine afternoon at Busch Field (I saw Ozzie play). I used to live on the other side of St. Louis from you, MM. I lived in Eureka, MO in the 90s – out there with the hoosiers.

[Mutatis-Mutandis]

Oh sure, I've heard of Eureka, though I'm not sure if I've ever been there. I'm in Belleville. Not Hoosier country, but ignorant country all the same.

Seriously, my only dislike of baseball stems from the constant news coverage. When I turn the news on in the morning, I want to hear about the news, not the Cardinals. Sports should not be headline news unless a team wins the championship of said sport, and even then it shouldn't last more than 5 minutes. But being from this area, you know that's not the case when it comes to the Cardinals. Now every news show has to broadcast live from Bush stadium on opening day, play off games, whatever, in an inane attempt to outdo the other stations Carsinals fandom. It's highly annoying.

[Sancho]

I see your point, MM. The Cardinals are riding high now and cashing in on their popularity after last season, so I say - ride that pony ‘till it drops. Back when I lived there the Cards stunk up the entire Mississippi river valley and some of Big Muddy’s as well. They couldn’t buy a 30-second spot on local news. Scalpers were starving. You could get 4 free tickets with the purchase of a large Imo’s pizza, and you’d have practically a whole section of seats to yourself. You may have had to share the center-field section with a troop of Cub Scouts and their Den Mother, who was usually content to sit there and catch up her knitting, but other than that you’d have the place to yourself.

Then Mark Maguire got into an anabolic steroid race with Sammy Sosa, and that sparked things up a little, but truthfully that was pretty boring baseball. More interesting was the Macarena dance video the players made:

Dale a tu cuerpo alergria Macarena – Toe-knee Larussa.

Anyway, my wife worked downtown, so from time to time, I’d get her to play hooky and we’d take in an afternoon game. Then we’d wander over to Soulard and listen to live music and tilt a few cold ones. All in all, it made for a good day.

But, not to worry, I predict the Cards will start sucking again soon, and then things will be back to normal, or as John Steinbeck said, “Once again the world was spinning in greased grooves.”

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

No.

s5cr

Thanks.

[papayahed]

Thanks.

Glad I could help!

hahaha

Actually I've always like the Rangers.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

I'm actually a casual observer. They started out great, but now they seem to be stagnating.
There's plenty more baseball left though.
What's the latest with the Tigers?

[Sancho]

Los Yanquis de Neuve York are in town for the next few nights, and I’m thinking:

3 GAME SWEEP

But I won’t say if the Braves will sweep the Yankees or vice versa.

[papayahed]

I'm actually a casual observer. They started out great, but now they seem to be stagnating.
There's plenty more baseball left though.
What's the latest with the Tigers?

Right now we're doing pretty good against the Reds but overall we're in the crapper.

[Sancho]

Okay, so, after last night's game (NYY-3, ATL-Zip), I'm pretty sure the Braves won't sweep the Yanquis.

[Sancho]

So then, I found myself in Boston last Thursday, and then I found myself wandering down Boylston in the evening, and then I found myself in front of Fenway Park chatting with a sidewalk entrepreneur:

“Aye, you theyah, need tickets?”
“What you got?”
“I got box tickets and I got grandstand.”
“How much for the box?”
“80 dollahs.”
“Too much. How much for the grandstand?”
“25 dollahs.”
“Still too much.”
“How much you got?”
“I got 10 dollars.”
“No way. I wouldn’t give you these tickets for 10 dollahs during the 7th inning stretch.”
“Alright then, I’ma go talk to that guy over there.”
“Wait! Okay, 10 dollahs. Yer killin’ me.”
“Thanks, man. Here’s a 20. Keep the change.”
“Bah! Haha! Yer a friggin’ comedian. Enjoy the game.”
“Thanks, man.”

Sancho’s 10 dollar seat:


A seat that Sancho liked better, but was asked to leave by the park staff:


(Bo-Sox lost to the Angels 13/14)

[papayahed]

Nice, I've always wanted to see a game at Fenway.

I was in Arlington at Rangers Stadium last week, there was a bit of a rain delay but it turned out pretty good:


Ranger lost to the Twins

[Sancho]

Nice stadium. My only question for you, Papaya, is: how did you deal with the hypoxia up there?

A few years ago I almost got to go to a Rangers game at Dubya’s ball park, but I was out voted by my fellow revelers and we wound up going to 6 Flags instead.

So then, Tuesday night I got to go to a Giants game at AT&T Park in San Fran. There’s definitely a different attitude there than in Boston. At Fenway the fans were – intense. There was a pop fly to short right field and the Bo-Sox 1st baseman and right fielder looked at each other as it dropped between them. The dude beside me nearly blew a gasket: “Jeee-sus Christ! This is the may-jah leagues you bums! Get offa my field. Get outta my town! You F**ks.”

Just a bit more laid back in San Francisco: Middle of game, score tied, Giants have runners on 1st and 3rd, nobody out. We’re sitting there thinking – squeeze play. Am I right? Well the next three batters swing away, three up, three down, runners stranded. We’re talking to each other about how we can’t believe they didn’t bunt. The California dudes in front of us (who were wearing their Giants ball caps and jerseys, and waving their big orange foam fingers, cheering the home team the whole game) turned around and asked us, “Hey man, what’s a squeeze play anyway.” We told them how it worked and they agreed that it would’ve been a good idea.

Ah well.

Giants lost to the D-Backs in extra innings 6 to 8.
Right Fielder Hunter Pence did swat the 62nd homer from AT&T Park into the San Francisco Bay that night, which was pretty cool.

[papayahed]

Nice stadium. My only question for you, Papaya, is: how did you deal with the hypoxia up there?

I practiced by holding my breath.