This is strange, 'cus I love this poem but I do see a number of problems. I love the theme and the first stanza is great, but a few things.
I'm not sure about "splatters" of thought! How's about "the spinning out of thought in scatter-shot lines"?
I miss read this at first and thought it said "we see some soul-balm from the sensitive" and was going to say perhaps 'in' the sensitive, but then I realised you said seek, but perhaps this is a bit 'telling rather than showing'.
"sincere as an infant’s cry" - a little cleche'd
Not sure about "babble", and maybe reified or ossified rather then rarefied
"We dread the water, then attempt to wade." bit traditional and cleche'd, could be nuanced somehow, not sure about 'wade' cus it sounds to volitional, 'tread' would be another fit in this whymewise, something like 'but we tread it anyway'.
I see you tempering your critique here;
"Too swiftly comes the splashback: “too mainstream,” “derivative,” “colloquial,” “too trite,”or “déclassé,” or worst of all, ignored."
by putting things in "'s and infering its a backlash rather than you. Why not be barbed and direct? Don't apologise for your self (but use knives my brain insists on making me write).
The last stanza is all in all a bit staid; you've got a real tallent with the poetry but the language is struggling in traditionalisms. I'd say anything that is even slightly cleche'd should be taken with inordinate seriousness. It undermines the whole - but even so something shines through quite brightly.
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As for being alone, I will never forget Peter Cook and Dudly Moore parrodying that famously misquoted phrase, with Mr. Cook, incongruously dressed in a plastic mack, wig, dark glasses and beret, being driven around london on top of an aromoured car, shouting "I want to be alone", through a loud hailer at startled pedestrians.
