"Spirits" by Stephen Jones

[Stephenjones1]

Spirits – Stephen Jones.

Martha walked away from a successful séance quite elated, Martha had been in contact with her eldest and favourite son. He had told her how happy he was in his new place and not to worry, she had said she was happy too, being here where everyone was more or less her own age, it made things easier for her. She said that she was always in contact with friends and some family on this side, and she would tell them all, her eldest son was very happy.
She had been three times to a séance, and was told you were better able to get on with things after bereavement, if you had been in contact with those that were gone forever.
Perhaps this would do it, and she wouldn’t have to go to a séance again, although it would be nice to talk to others as well because men never did get a good perspective on these matters, and if she spoke to his aunty, it would be so very nice.
Since she had moved to this place with her new friends, her health was improving and she hadn’t felt this spritely for a long time and with her new found sprightliness her priorities were changing and she no longer looked back so much but looked forward to what future she had here.
But never the less, a talk with his aunty would be nice, before she knocked the séance thing on the head altogether, what was her name again. She couldn’t remember and she found this most upsetting as she thought, I only died six weeks ago, but never the less onwards and upwards, and she floated the rest of the way home, there were some advantages to being a spirit.


The End

[Calidore]

I like the idea--a twist story in which the seance-goer turns out to be the spirit, not the survivor. I would only make one small, totally optional suggestion: Instead of her eldest and favorite son, which raises a question mark in the reader's head, make it her eldest and favorite brother, which raises no questions before the reveal.

What does need fixing is the writing itself; your sentence structure is horrific. Most of your sentences are ridiculous run-ons that should actually be two or three sentences (at least). Reading the story aloud to yourself will help you find the pauses and breaks, and will also aid in fixing iffy grammar.