Is everyone lonely?

[Alexander III]

As for the question, I rarely feel alone. But I often enjoy solitude.

Of course the whole thread may be a bit confusing due to semantics.

For me

Loneliness= you are alone because no one wants to be with you, and thus sad and self-pitying

Solitude= seeking to be by yourself because if offers great pleasure.

[Varenne Rodin]

(Samuel Beckett)

This is, for me, a fact of life.

However, the crucial distinction between "alone" and "lonely" must be made. Everyone is alone (unless, perhaps, if you've a siamese twin sharing your vital organs). But not everyone's lonely. Loneliness is a mismanagement of our aloneness.

I agree that it's a mismanagement of our aloneness. I also agree with Alexander. After high school, when I got my first place, I felt great being independent, but lonely at times. Going to school helped a little. Hobbies helped more. I went to visit a Buddhist monastery for martial arts exercise. I lost myself in my creative impulses - sculpting, painting, comics. I met interesting people. I hosted costume parties. I didn't care about alone times anymore. I enjoyed them because I felt self-actualized. People with common interests tend to adore me and I them. I guess I'm saying to beat loneliness, self improvement is the catalyst for positivity.

[Paulclem]

I'm beginning to think, as progress through my life, that people live in different subjective worlds that interface to a greater of lesser extent with the environment and people around them.

When I look at my teenage children, I know that I cannot really take part in their life and worldview, and that as a parent, my job of influencing and setting examples and bringing them up is essentially over. I have responsibilities to them of course, but that is part of being the staff.

Conversely, when I look at our elderly relatives, I know that it is difficult for me to really appreciate the accretion of cultural, social, historical and biographical influences that combine to inform their worldview. For example we have an elderly Aunt who is Sri Lankan, was brought up in a wealthy and influential family, who is a Roman Catholic, who came to live in drizzly England after the war, who became a District Nurse and who never married her partner, our Uncle. Given that we don't really know a lot about her either, it is very difficult for us to completely understand her view and "where she's coming from".

I know that some people you click with, and when you meet someone, you tend to find areas of commonality - mutual friends, experiences, music etc But for every thing that you share, there is probably a whole universe of inner differences.

I suppose it's all fairly obvious, but it may mean that we all live with unique worldviews that sometimes connect with others, but which essentially are unique.

[G L Wilson]

There is no getting away from loneliness, it is the sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach. The only way to help ourselves from becoming depressed is to find distractions. Pascal can have his God, that is really lonely.

[Paulclem]

Yes...that's why I'm on here each night....sob....

[G L Wilson]

Yes...that's why I'm on here each night....sob....

It's sad but true for me also.

[Paulclem]

Then things inevitably change sooner or later. Often we just lack the long view.

[G L Wilson]

Then things inevitably change sooner or later. Often we just lack the long view.

Sure, life is not all gloom and doom, tomorrow is always a better day and tomorrow's children are always happy. If a child can't brighten your day, nothing will.

[Revolte]

I've got mixed answers to this. One on hand I KNOW I'm not alone. But I live in an area far from town, and even if I didn't I don't have any friends here anymore. Everyone I know and love are at least an hour away. So I get very lonely. But I'm always getting to know someone new, or getting to know the people I know better.

[Panglossian]

I love solitude. I sometimes think I could spend the rest of my days in it. I don’t know at what point feelings of genuine loneliness would creep in, if they would at all. Mr Endon wrote: Loneliness is a mismanagement of our aloneness. I like that. I agree.

[G L Wilson]

I am a sad little person who loves company.

[Scheherazade]

They say, "Misery loves company."

[Panglossian]

I am a sad little person who loves company.

"Man loves company, even if it is only that of a smouldering candle."

[ForrestJG]

It depends if one can handle solitary moments and lonesome moments. Some are lonely, for reasons unknown but only to themselves. Many can handle loneliness because other aspects of their lives are copious with the comfort of others, whereas some find loneliness unbearable, and are unable to find human contact because of some inscrutable wall blocking them.
So, really, innumerable people can dwell in lonesome moments, whereas some people travel through their days in a perpetual lonesome mood. And I guess everyone is not lonely. There is a huge diverse and lavish amount of different people experiencing bliss, cordiality, loneliness.

[Delta40]

I think you have to like your own company as much as you like the company of others otherwise we avoid ourselves. Anyone can lose themselves in a crowd but it's just cover really. It isn't reasonable to go through life without ever addressing our own self-development, self-love and self-respect. I mean we can avoid it but I am confident it will affect the quality of our existence while we 'hide' in the crowd.