A man goes into a Library and asks the Librarian
"Can you lend me a book on how to commit suicide?"
The librarian replies
" No chance. You wouldn't bring it back
A man goes into a Library and asks the Librarian
"Can you lend me a book on how to commit suicide?"
The librarian replies
" No chance. You wouldn't bring it back
Beginning today, treat everyone you meet as if he or she were going to be dead by midnight. Extend to them all the care, kindness, and understanding you can muster, and do so with no thought of any reward. Your life will never be the same again.
— Og Mandino (Motivational Author & Speaker)
I got this one its called GEOGRAPHY OF A WOMAN
Between 18 and 20 a woman is like Africa, half discovered, half wild, naturally beautiful with fertile deltas.
Between 21 and 30 a woman is like America, well developed and open to trade especially for someone with cash.
Between 31 and 35 she is like India, very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty.
Between 36 and 40 a woman is like France. Gently aging but still a warm and desirable place to visit
Between 41 and 50 she is like Yugoslavia, lost the war- haunted by past mistakes. Massive reconstruction is now necessary.
Between 51 and 60, she is like Russia, very wide and borders are un-patrolled. The frigid climate keeps people away.
Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Mongolia, with a glorious and all conquering past but alas, no future.
After 70, they become Afghanistan. Almost everyone knows where it is, but no one wants to go there.
The source of any bad writing is the desire to be something more than a person of sense--the straining to be thought a genius. If people would say what they have to say in plain terms, how much eloquent they would be.
-S.T COLERIDGE
Yeeeh...in my country, those creatures are called "tyanak" (pronounced as CHA-nak). That picture reminds me of Neil Gaiman's short story entitled Babycakes. Quite horrifying!Originally Posted by Nightshade
the last one is a bit mean though landi...
Heya there my Goodfella! My previous avatar was a lovely mortal. But now, I can say that he's still lovely, only he's been immortalized. My mischievous little brother made fun of it using the Paint. Oh my poor prince!
Sorry friend! Those images were just forwarded to me by a friend through mail. But I'll try to get pics that will cause your stomach to ache, don't worry...
I reckon that Toni already posted some of them in the Joke thread, but anyhow...here's some:
"You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life."
To go wrong in one's own way is better than to go right in someone else's" - Dostoevksy
Laindessiel, where on God's earth are you getting such pics? They are whollly wonderful. Keep it up!
hahahahah!!!
The source of any bad writing is the desire to be something more than a person of sense--the straining to be thought a genius. If people would say what they have to say in plain terms, how much eloquent they would be.
-S.T COLERIDGE
hope this will make u laugh,Muhsin:
Nice one.....?
Last edited by Therapy?; 02-17-2007 at 03:38 PM. Reason: :p
You'd have to be familiar with the film, "Enemy of the State." But, late in the film a gigantic building blows up and Will Smith asks Gene Hackman, "why did it blow up?" to which Hackman immediately says, "Because you made a phone call!" In the context of the film that line is a gas and Hackman says it just right.
Ouch.Between 41 and 50 she is like Yugoslavia, lost the war- haunted by past mistakes. Massive reconstruction is now necessary.
Between 51 and 60, she is like Russia, very wide and borders are un-patrolled. The frigid climate keeps people away.
Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Mongolia, with a glorious and all conquering past but alas, no future.
After 70, they become Afghanistan. Almost everyone knows where it is, but no one wants to go there.
And I say again: Ouch.
Gosh! Miss T. It really made, and its still making me.....keep it up.hope this will make u laugh,Muhsin:
Well I don't mean that. Go back and re-read it for better understanding. By the way, why think of Africa in such regard-Full of STDs?
I'll soon get it for more laughter dear.
Clarify please.....
The source of any bad writing is the desire to be something more than a person of sense--the straining to be thought a genius. If people would say what they have to say in plain terms, how much eloquent they would be.
-S.T COLERIDGE
If you Don’t Eat Junk food, Don’t Smoke, Don’t Drink, Don't Have boy Friend/Gal Friend, Don't Play Cards, No Late Nights; Then Visit Our site: forwhatwereyouborn.com
Dear muhsin,Gosh! Miss T. It really made, and its still making me.....keep it up.
Well I don't mean that. Go back and re-read it for better understanding. By the way, why think of Africa in such regard-Full of STDs?
I'll soon get it for more laughter dear.
Clarify please.....
Sorry I offended you, obviously I meant it only as a joke.
Last edited by Therapy?; 02-17-2007 at 03:38 PM. Reason: :p
Just wondering...
Why do doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why does the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why is the tim eo fthe day with the slowest traffic called a rush hour?
Why do British singers suddenly lose their accents when they sing?
"You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life."
To go wrong in one's own way is better than to go right in someone else's" - Dostoevksy
A priest was talking to a nun, and he saw that her belly was getting bigger, and he made a comment about it.
She replied to him that it was just a little gas.
A couple of months later, he ran into her again. This time, her belly was really big.
She just patted her belly and said, "Just a little gas."
Two months went by and he came across the nun again. She was pushing a baby carriage.
The priest bent down and looked into the carriage and said, "Cute little fart, isn't he?"
"You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life."
To go wrong in one's own way is better than to go right in someone else's" - Dostoevksy
A man walking along the beach found a bottle. When he rubbedit, lo and behold, a genie appeared!
"I will grant you three wishes," announced the genie. "But there is one condition. I am a politician's genie. That means for every wish you make, every politician in the world gets the wish as well -- only double."
The man though about this for a while. "For my first wish, I would like ten million dollars," he announced. Instantly, the genie gave hima Swiss bank account number and assured the man that $10,000,000 had been deposited. "But every politician in the world has just recieved $20,000,000," the genie said.
"Ive always wanted a Ferrari," the man said. "That's my second wish."
Instantly, a Ferrari appeaed. "But every politician in the world has just recieved two Ferraris," the genie said. "And what is your last wish?"
"Well," the man said, "I've always wanted to donate a kidney..."
"You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life."
To go wrong in one's own way is better than to go right in someone else's" - Dostoevksy
A woman and her little girl were visiting the grave of the little girl's grandmother. On the way throught he cemetery back to the car, the little girl asked, "Mommy, do they ever bury two people in the same grave?"
"Ofcourse not, dear," replied the mother, "Why would you think that?"
"The tombstone back there said "Here lies a politician and an honest man."
"You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life."
To go wrong in one's own way is better than to go right in someone else's" - Dostoevksy
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