Distant Thoughts (for critique)
1. a. Still and quiet, the blur shade of night compels me
....b. Into its soft, mysterious mist of phantom tomorrows;
....c. Desire conceived in days long past, enduring – haunting.
2. a. My sight struggles through gnarled branches obscuring
....b. The city distant, expansive beyond my perception;
....c. A labyrinth concealing you in temptuous mockery.
3. a. Though only briefly met, you are impressed upon me -
....b. Simply as a full moon setting over the ocean surf -
....c. In my everyday thoughts and each beat of my heart.
4. a. Inspiration thriving, growing, invading my all;
....b. Faith calming, assuring, expanding throughout;
....c. And sweet, euphoric dreams of Heavenly descent.
5. a. As I gaze longingly into this cold veil unyielding
....b. I wonder where you are, what you are doing;
....c. Do you visit the depth of night and ponder...
6. a. Dare I lend myself to the thought that, maybe,
....b. You too look off into the dark night and consider
....c. Images of a tomorrow we might together share.
7. a. Dare I not..?
I'm at my wits-end editing this; perhaps a new perspective would help.
2. c. I know temptuous is not a word, alternately I was using seductive, but it seems most people understand a rough meaning of temptuous (indeed are surprised, as I as, that it is not technically a word), so I put it back in.
5. a. I'm not sure about the word 'cold'; it's a recent addition and I have yet to find an alternate.
