Blog Comments

Thanks Scher. It turned out to be nothing serious. Probably part of her arthritis. She was walking much better today and acting like her self.

Sorry to hear about your mother's troubles, Virgil, but it is a great relief that she is feeling better.

To be honest Aunty, I really can't complain about the healthcare system I've interfaced with for both of my parents. My father had a two and half year health issues that required constant attention, in and out of hopsitals, rehab, nursing homes. Certainly there were times people were overwhelmed by the shear volume of patients, but they really kept my father alive when several times it looked like the end. Frankly I think they did a great job. No question those end of life problems are the most expensive, and I hate to think how much was spent on keeping my father alive, certainly in the multi millions of dollars easily. Perhaps to some bureaucrat looking at the cost one can make the conclusion it wasn't worth it, but to me and my family those two last years of my father's life were extraordinarily special and damn right they were worth every penny. As to my mother, she's had all sorts of doctors for the past 25 years, nothing life or death, but still the ailments add up. I can't complain about the healthcare system, at least not for the elderly. I think you live in a rural area, and I think the problem there is more availability of hospitals and specialists than anything else. Thanks for the comment.

Certainly anyone who is faced with manouevring through the American health care labyrinth has my sympathy. Sad as it might sound, you and your mother were treated relatively well, when compared
to some of the stories we've all heard.
It wasn't exactly a false alarm, because you really should check out every emergency, which this certainly appeared to be at first. Hope
good health reigns for both of you.

Thanks Fifth. The purse gave the story a nice prop.

She says she's better today, though she was still hobbling when I went over this evening.

I'm glad to hear your Mum's okay Virgil, it sounds like you had a bit of a scare. But if she's still got the spark to give you down the banks on your way home that's a good thing, even if it wasn't exactly what you intended! The purse comment made me smile; why are men so fragile about their masculinity? Some things never change

Thanks Qimi. I wish I didn't screw it up at the end and make her feel like I did her a favor. I didn't mean that, though it came out that way.

Absolutely! It's a pain in the you know what, I'm sure, but I also know that ultimately you're glad she's OK, and glad to be able to help her. You're a good son. Even if you did have to carry a purse.

Thank you for the well wishes, Prince and Rich. I wouldn't say it was agony, just frustrating. Better this way than any of the other alternatives.

Oh, Dude! What agony the TWO of you went through - and how vividly you conveyed it all. My best to the both of you...

Jer

I'm just glad she's ok. Good to know you were there for her and I'm sure she realizes that.

Thanks ladies. I just called her a few minutes ago to check in on her and she said she was feeling better. M-H, she had her morning Tylenol 650 for her arthritis that she takes every morning. She takes one in the morning and one in the evening. I up it to two in the evening for the rest of the week in her pill box.

Mary, Don't worry, I won't.

That still worries me, Virgil. When is she going to see her regular doc? Did she try tylenol before she called you? I just don't think she should be hurting like that. Keep us posted.

Oh, poor dear, having to carry a ladies purse around with you must have stressed you out a little ha? Maybe it wasn't the right style.

I'm sorry. Just had to play with the 'purse' issue. Glad mum is ok and hope she keeps well... Will say a few prayers to mum's health and a few prayers for you, so you don't turn into one of those fellows that like carrying women's purses... You know the one's I mean. Hahahaha

Thank you much Nick. I actually considered taking out the "then". But "then" does give it a feel of a passage through and coming onto anther thing. So I left it. I'm still ambivilent.

I love the first line, which can be read with or without the lead in. Without give the sense of a cycle. As if was going on before the poet transcribed it.

The engravings that you rendered do break up the rhythm with a halt, but I visited a cemetery last week and it was the first time that I was visiting this particular grave and I think you captured the moment of stop, look, stop, look.

There are a few matches that I have read before (wind gust, dwindles down, bog of time, Faces stand out) and a smilie that I find awkward (the granite faces lay across the field,/like fallen leaves), but there is a lot I like which was either because of the image or the music of the line:

The chrysanthemums before the slabs
some red, some white
some drooping, some still upright,
have reached their numbered days
ending like a sigh, humbled,
suspired after a frosty night.

Here a mausoleum
crowned with a granite cross
stands against the wind,
lettered: Daughters of the Devine Charity,
Sister Jean, Sister Mary, Sister Theresa, Sister Joyce, etc…
fallen leaves (I see how the simile sets this up), year after year, another dropped.

And then the Marino mausoleum
with carved angels, the Virgin,
faded bronze door, and a bird’s nest cuddled
in the crook of the roof.

My favorite line:
and a bird’s nest cuddled
in the crook of the roof.

There is almost a hierarchy or genealogy here that is interesting:

William Toth
1897 – 1946
Devoted Husband

Margret Quinn
1926 – 1999
Beloved Mother

Annette Ruggerio
1918 – 2007
Nana

What do you think about the following stanza with "then" removed?

And then the Marino mausoleum
with carved angels, the Virgin,
faded bronze door, and a bird’s nest cuddled
in the crook of the roof.

I think it recalls the first line.

Thank you Camellia, Petrarch, and special thanks to you Stargazer.

oh my goodness I love this poem. I'm awful at giving any kind of decent critique or commentary, but I just love it! I especially like how you pointed out the names on the tombstones. And the imagery is so strong! In my 23 years, I've yet to ever see a "real" Autumn day...so I love the picture this creates in my mind and the thoughts of what Autumn "feels" like in such a melencholy, but beautiful way.
The only real critique I have is the last 2 lines...they don't seem to fit in with the rest of the flow of the poem, though I get where you're going with the idea.
Overall, I must reiterate, I love this poem. I absolutely think its post worthy

Hi Virg.--Thanks for sharing this. I like the concept of this poem, and I think a lot of the lines are really good. The stanza describing the way "the granite faces lay across the field/
like fallen leaves, inscribed with life’s little figures," may have been my favorite, and I also thought the end lines were particularly effective.

My first reaction was that the listing of the headstones was bogging the poem down, but after reading it again I realized that I like that section and the idea of the list mimicking a walk through a graveyard. I think what's actually throwing me is not the listing of the headstones, but the connection of that second part with the first part. I can imagine ways in which the two link together, but I'm not sure that you're sufficiently drawing out the lines that bind the animals/autumn scene with the grave yard. The stanza ending with "squirrels worry of winter's want" gestures toward some sort of connection toward the end, but I don't know that there's enough in the beginning section to make it all click. I wonder if your diction is contributing to this some. For example, while I enjoy the description of the "little critters" who "ferreting feed" in and of itself, I'm not sure how that light, homely language coheres with the graveyard descriptions. I think it might help to either find different language for describing the lively squirrels in a way that anticipates a graveyard litany or make a clearer transition to link the two worlds. You seem to be going that direction with the line about the "one upright with a host/between its palms," which is a wonderful image that could potentially do some good work in this poem with some more supporting transitional words or phrases.

Apart from a shift in diction and conceptual transition, I wonder if, even on a purely stylistic level, you could anticipate the listing of the gravestones by incorporating some sort of listing in the first part of the poem, such as a list of trees and the years that they've grown, or a listing of the kinds of animals. Or if there could be some sort of resonance with the anonymity of the animals as opposed to the concrete naming of the people. eg: "nameless scurrying critters/ferreting food and flitting/ out of sight and memory."

Just a little hopefully constructive crit. Otherwise, I enjoyed the poem. Some nice imagery.

edit: Just a nitpicking note: I assume you meant "daughters of the divine charity," not devine.

Great list! I'm still working on the Rainbow-had to put it aside to read a bookclub book.