Literature Network » Ring Lardner

Confusing world of pronouns

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From: Chicago Sun-Times
Date: 19880605
Author:James J. Kilpatrick

A letter comes to hand from a gentlewoman in Florida. She is in a state of war with her 12-year-old daughter. They fought the other evening over pronouns. "Nominative!" cried the belligerent child. "Objective! Possessive! Why do I have to learn all that dumb stuff?" My correspondent asked a plaintive question: "How do I explain why she has to learn all that dumb stuff?"

The proper response to such questions, as Ring Lardner taught us long ago, is, "Because I say so!" A probably less effective answer lies in explaining that English has a kind of bone structure. In the human skeleton, the ...

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