Cold Ale - The Blokes' Thread!

[jocky]

I had an interesting experience in a 1963 VW. The back seat springs were a bit worn and one day, during a workout more strenuous than the car was used to, smoke suddenly started filling the car.

Two naked people jump out, followed by the billowing smoke.

After 10 seconds or so, it was apparent that nothing was actually on fire, so, having thrown on enough clothes for decency, I investigated.

The seat had been bouncing so that the metal spring was shorting out the battery (which was under the back seat) and the straw ticking in the seat had started to smoulder.

Good job it wasn't a Mini, the two of you would have never got out.

[The Atheist]

Good job it wasn't a Mini, the two of you would have never got out.

Nah, Minis were no problem. I had a girlfriend with a Mini 850. More room than you'd expect.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

...The seat had been bouncing so that the metal spring was shorting out the battery (which was under the back seat) and the straw ticking in the seat had started to smoulder.

HA...yes, I remember the battery under the back seat.
The '66 was the last year that used a 6 volt system. It was always difficult to start on cold days, so you learned to park on hills (so you could roll start it) or have your gal push the car for you.
My father and I converted the electrical system to 12 volt except the horn. Imagine a 6 volt horn powered by a 12 volt battery!

Or the Dallas Police does Gilliatt.

Yeah, they pretty much had their way with me; you couldn't get too far on 1300cc's.

.

[jocky]

Guys and Gal, you are never going to believe this! This morning I had an appointment with my Bank Manager, regarding what was termed in the red typed letter as a rather big overdraught. What a humiliation, I sat in a leather seat which was considerably lower than his and had to endure a multitude of adjectives, such as profligate, spendthrift, impecunious ( That one really stung ) and so on. I was about to leave in high dudgeon and tell him what I really thought, when his tone softened considerably, he put his arm round my shoulder and declared, " Now, now Mr Jocky I have been authorised to offer you a position on the board as you have the precise qualities any banking institution would die for. " What could I do but accept ? I gave him a warm handshake and just as I was leaving he winked and said " Oh! tell Mrs Jocky we want her on board as well, as she has your qualities in spades. "

[prendrelemick]

I suspect not even Mrs J can shift money like HBOS could.

[soundofmusic]

Which brings us neatly to the ' Forsyte Saga ' by Galsworthy. Soames and Irene were doomed from the start as the chemistry was never there. Now Irene was a strong individual as opposed to a rich no mark and she realised that a relationship based on puppy love would never work. At least in our new reality women do have a choice ' use em and abuse em ' For goodness sake Soundo don't tell anyone I have read a book, they might get the wrong idea.

Everybody knows you're the Blokes thread intellectual; the rest of us are here for the booze and the girls...uh, oops...I'm here for the booze...where's Parker when I need him.

Yes, look at Fleur, she married that rich and titled bloke (sensible girl,) but had a fling with young Jon first.

Recalling my days in the mix, it was noticeable that when I was "seeing" someone, other girls would suddenly be interested, and when I was engaged, I became the Yorkshire Warren Beatty.

It's contagious...two readers in the mix
Yes, that is how it works; wierd how we women spend more time trying to impress each other than the men we are with.

Ooh no, nothing so stereotypical. I always found completely ignoring a chick worked wonders.

And the gold ring on the finger is like a pound of Spanish Fly behind the ears.

I think ignoring them after paying a good bit of attention works even better; and I'm not sure, I think now, acting gay may work better than wearing a wedding band...
I'd ask...where are all the gay guys when I have a question

For me, it all started with my first fox cart; a pearl white 1966 Volkswagon Beetle with 1300cc engine. From that point on it was "Gilliatt Does Dallas".

.

I didn't know that any german car could be considered a love machine; let alone one that looks like a mouse

I had an interesting experience in a 1963 VW. The back seat springs were a bit worn and one day, during a workout more strenuous than the car was used to, smoke suddenly started filling the car.

Two naked people jump out, followed by the billowing smoke.

After 10 seconds or so, it was apparent that nothing was actually on fire, so, having thrown on enough clothes for decency, I investigated.

The seat had been bouncing so that the metal spring was shorting out the battery (which was under the back seat) and the straw ticking in the seat had started to smoulder.

God, who were you riding man, Big Bertha?

[The Atheist]

HA...yes, I remember the battery under the back seat.
The '66 was the last year that used a 6 volt system. It was always difficult to start on cold days, so you learned to park on hills (so you could roll start it) or have your gal push the car for you.
My father and I converted the electrical system to 12 volt except the horn. Imagine a 6 volt horn powered by a 12 volt battery!

Well, it'd be an improvement on what it sounded like with the 6v - a sick frog was about the most I ever coaxed from mine!

Guys and Gal, you are never going to believe this! This morning I had an appointment with my Bank Manager, regarding what was termed in the red typed letter as a rather big overdraught. What a humiliation, I sat in a leather seat which was considerably lower than his and had to endure a multitude of adjectives, such as profligate, spendthrift, impecunious ( That one really stung ) and so on. I was about to leave in high dudgeon and tell him what I really thought, when his tone softened considerably, he put his arm round my shoulder and declared, " Now, now Mr Jocky I have been authorised to offer you a position on the board as you have the precise qualities any banking institution would die for. " What could I do but accept ? I gave him a warm handshake and just as I was leaving he winked and said " Oh! tell Mrs Jocky we want her on board as well, as she has your qualities in spades. "

Man, that must be one big OD!

Everybody knows you're the Blokes thread intellectual;

Yeah - worst bushel-hiding in history.

I think ignoring them after paying a good bit of attention works even better; and I'm not sure, I think now, acting gay may work better than wearing a wedding band...
I'd ask...where are all the gay guys when I have a question

Actually, that's a very good question - how often gay blokes get propositioned by women. I suspect there may be a quota of women who think "If he only knew how good it can be..." Men claim that kind of thing about lesbians, but then the request for them to bring their girlfriend gives the game away.

(we are going to get in trouble in this direction!)

God, who were you riding man, Big Bertha?

Nah, the springs were had it. It was a 1963 car, and the *trouble* was in about 1981. She ended up being my ex-wife, that one.

Funny coincidence, though. I used to go around with an actual Big Bertha. She was 6' and a women's rugby forward, so built to match. Gotta say, we made an impressive pair walking down the street - she was taller than most blokes and I'm 6' 3. Most people were smart enough to dodge!

[jocky]

Actually, that's a very good question - how often gay blokes get propositioned by women. I suspect there may be a quota of women who think "If he only knew how good it can be..." Men claim that kind of thing about lesbians, but then the request for them to bring their girlfriend gives the game away.

(we are going to get in trouble in this direction!)

On that delicate topic I am getting a wee bit concerned about my faithfull dog Turncoat. We were out for our constitutional the other morning when we passed a beautifully coiffured pink poodle attached by a lead to an equally stunning female owner. As they passed my head did a 360 degree revolution but Turncoat did not bat an eyelid and walked Imperiously on. Och maybe I am reading too much into it, he could have just been playing it cool. Still I hope the powers that be do not take offence at this post. Turncoat likes all kinds of posts.

[The Atheist]

Maybe the poodle was a poof?

Maybe Mrs Jocky has been quietly training the dog to ignore dogs with female owners?

(I'd be betting #2)

[jocky]

Maybe the poodle was a poof?

Maybe Mrs Jocky has been quietly training the dog to ignore dogs with female owners?

(I'd be betting #2)

Damn, I never thought of that. I wouldn't put it past her. I'm going to my bed. Goodnight.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

On that delicate topic I am getting a wee bit concerned about my faithfull dog Turncoat. We were out for our constitutional the other morning when we passed a beautifully coiffured pink poodle attached by a lead to an equally stunning female owner...

Haha, sounds like your dog may be from the same lineage as Prendrelemick's pink Tup.

Here's something to listen to while you count sheep...goodnight.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M6AZN...eature=related

.

[The Atheist]

Crikey!

After weeks of fine weather, we've got two former cyclones over the country. Neither appear to be likely to cause damage, but it's presently 26 degrees with 99% humidity. Even the flies are walking...

Life in a fridge looks pretty desirable right now!

[Paulclem]

Still raining here - and cloudy - getting a bit colder than late ....

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

Cold with blowing snow here in northern Illinois,
About 15 cm deep as of Monday evening.
The Wild Turkey is keeping me warm.


.

[soundofmusic]

Guys and Gal, you are never going to believe this! This morning I had an appointment with my Bank Manager, regarding what was termed in the red typed letter as a rather big overdraught. What a humiliation, I sat in a leather seat which was considerably lower than his and had to endure a multitude of adjectives, such as profligate, spendthrift, impecunious ( That one really stung ) and so on. I was about to leave in high dudgeon and tell him what I really thought, when his tone softened considerably, he put his arm round my shoulder and declared, " Now, now Mr Jocky I have been authorised to offer you a position on the board as you have the precise qualities any banking institution would die for. " What could I do but accept ? I gave him a warm handshake and just as I was leaving he winked and said " Oh! tell Mrs Jocky we want her on board as well, as she has your qualities in spades. "

I would really be popular with your bank manager; I seldom pass the month without one overdraft. For a while I was calling and complaining that they were just sorting the checks wrong and all the nice foreign fellows, who never argue with a lady, put the charges back in my account. Last time I ran into a New York lass who told me it was the 21st century and to deal with it

Actually, that's a very good question - how often gay blokes get propositioned by women. I suspect there may be a quota of women who think "If he only knew how good it can be..." Men claim that kind of thing about lesbians, but then the request for them to bring their girlfriend gives the game away.

(we are going to get in trouble in this direction!)


Funny coincidence, though. I used to go around with an actual Big Bertha. She was 6' and a women's rugby forward, so built to match. Gotta say, we made an impressive pair walking down the street - she was taller than most blokes and I'm 6' 3. Most people were smart enough to dodge!

I must admit, gay women have me perplexed. It seems to me that if I had no interest in a particular gender, I woud not want to buy a prosthesis that does basically the same thing

That would have been a site....Does anyone remember the song about big bertha...come on Gilliatt..

On that delicate topic I am getting a wee bit concerned about my faithfull dog Turncoat. We were out for our constitutional the other morning when we passed a beautifully coiffured pink poodle attached by a lead to an equally stunning female owner. As they passed my head did a 360 degree revolution but Turncoat did not bat an eyelid and walked Imperiously on. Och maybe I am reading too much into it, he could have just been playing it cool. Still I hope the powers that be do not take offence at this post. Turncoat likes all kinds of posts.

I imagine Turncoat just got a lesbian or snob vibe from the poodle...did the owner give a bit of a smile and a turn of the head

Maybe the poodle was a poof?

Maybe Mrs Jocky has been quietly training the dog to ignore dogs with female owners?

(I'd be betting #2)

I hadn't thought of that; Mrs J has always been one step ahead of the average female plotting.

Haha, sounds like your dog may be from the same lineage as Prendrelemick's pink Tup.

Here's something to listen to while you count sheep...goodnight.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M6AZN...eature=related

.

Isn't there a dance with that...?

Still raining here - and cloudy - getting a bit colder than late ....

Rained and cloudy all day today; I couldn't get at all motivated. I can't imagine what it would be like to be in a place with months of cloud cover...