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Thread: Cold Ale - The Blokes' Thread!

  1. #4231
    TobeFrank Paulclem's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by soundofmusic View Post

    Did they forget to tell you that you don't carry the hip flask on your hip? You have to tie it with a bit of long string and carry it along with the other treasures
    Cunning.

    It's a small one with no carry strap or anything. No problem at the allotment as I have voluminous pockets. Anywhere else I'll be able to conceal it about my person very carefully from Mrs Paulclem. I like to have pockets, though her uncanny intuition and sense of smell may find me out.

    I was only going to pop a bit in the coffee. Imagine being ejected from a swanky coffee shop though for hip flask misdemeanors. I would be disowned - or worse.

  2. #4232
    Registered User jocky's Avatar
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    Australian homage to Ricky Ponting ;

    As I was going up the stairs
    I met a man who wasn't there
    He wasn't there again today
    I wish, I wish he'd go away.

    On the subject of Xmas I asked Mrs J what she would really like more than anything. She thought deeply for about two seconds and replied " A widow's pension "
    " There are few more impressive sights in the world than a Scotsman on the make. "

  3. #4233
    Orwellian The Atheist's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jocky View Post
    Australian homage to Ricky Ponting
    Masterful!

    Just a note about Jacques Kallis as well - at the end of the India/RSA test series he has now overtaken Tendulkar's average.

    Not sure what that says about Kallis if Tendulkar is considered the Bradman of the late 20th/early 21st centuries.

    Quote Originally Posted by jocky View Post
    On the subject of Xmas I asked Mrs J what she would really like more than anything. She thought deeply for about two seconds and replied " A widow's pension "
    Haha!

    She's a good woman, Mrs Jocky.
    Go to work, get married, have some kids, pay your taxes, pay your bills, watch your tv, follow fashion, act normal, obey the law and repeat after me: "I am free."

    Anon

  4. #4234
    Registered User prendrelemick's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jocky View Post
    Australian homage to Ricky Ponting ;

    As I was going up the stairs
    I met a man who wasn't there
    He wasn't there again today
    I wish, I wish he'd go away.


    That's perfect.


    I suppose Kallis has quietly got on with his job, while Tendulkar has had 100 million fanatical admirers watching his every move.

    And by the way, jolly well played England (polite applause.)
    Last edited by prendrelemick; 01-07-2011 at 01:41 AM.

  5. #4235
    Registered User gbrekken's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jocky View Post
    On the subject of Xmas I asked Mrs J what she would really like more than anything. She thought deeply for about two seconds and replied " A widow's pension "
    hahahahahahahahahahahaa!
    heavenly blue morning glory

  6. #4236
    Clinging to Douvres rocks Gilliatt Gurgle's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Paulclem View Post
    ...It's a small one with no carry strap or anything. No problem at the allotment as I have voluminous pockets. Anywhere else I'll be able to conceal it about my person very carefully from Mrs Paulclem.
    I like to have pockets, though her uncanny intuition and sense of smell may find me out.
    Paul,
    Back when I was living from the flask, I came up with a brilliant idea to conceal it.
    Clad the flask in leather in such a way that it will appear as a wallet.
    When Mrs P gives you the suspicious eye each time you take a snort, quickly shove the flask under your nose, breath in and say "I love the smell of fresh rawhide. Would you like a sniff my darling?"

    .
    "Mongo only pawn in game of life" - Mongo

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SKRma7PDW10

  7. #4237
    Registered User prendrelemick's Avatar
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    Try the Eric Morecambe method, Paul. Hide the bottle behind your straight arm and raise it to point at a bird, whilst taking a good swig.

  8. #4238
    TobeFrank Paulclem's Avatar
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    Fine ideas chaps. I fear I may have to be more cunning if I'm to spice up my cafe coffee.
    I have to confess that Mrs Paulclem is psychic and has practised witchcraft in the past.

  9. #4239
    Orwellian The Atheist's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Paulclem View Post
    I have to confess that Mrs Paulclem is psychic and has practised witchcraft in the past.
    Doesn't that apply to all women?
    Go to work, get married, have some kids, pay your taxes, pay your bills, watch your tv, follow fashion, act normal, obey the law and repeat after me: "I am free."

    Anon

  10. #4240
    TobeFrank Paulclem's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Atheist View Post
    Doesn't that apply to all women?

    I fear so.

  11. #4241
    Registered User prendrelemick's Avatar
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    My mrs P's psychic abilities are flawed, she "knows" I'm up to something, when I'm not (honest.)

  12. #4242
    TobeFrank Paulclem's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by prendrelemick View Post
    My mrs P's psychic abilities are flawed, she "knows" I'm up to something, when I'm not (honest.)
    She's using scrying abilities. You might not be doing it now, but at some point in the future...

  13. #4243
    Orwellian The Atheist's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Paulclem View Post
    I fear so.
    Why are we heterosexual again?

    Quote Originally Posted by prendrelemick View Post
    My mrs P's psychic abilities are flawed, she "knows" I'm up to something, when I'm not (honest.)
    Haha!

    She's two steps in front of you, mate!

    You only subconsciously intended to get up to something and she stopped you before your brain could bring it to the front.

    Some woman, that.
    Go to work, get married, have some kids, pay your taxes, pay your bills, watch your tv, follow fashion, act normal, obey the law and repeat after me: "I am free."

    Anon

  14. #4244
    Registered User jocky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by prendrelemick View Post
    My mrs P's psychic abilities are flawed, she "knows" I'm up to something, when I'm not (honest.)


    It is all part of the male tragedy. Personally I blame our less than wise brothers who make a habit of being found out. For my part, in the court of male indiscretions, Mrs jocky has never been able to prove anything, and boy has she got psychic abilities.
    " There are few more impressive sights in the world than a Scotsman on the make. "

  15. #4245
    Clinging to Douvres rocks Gilliatt Gurgle's Avatar
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    Maybe Sounds can help us understand from a woman's perspective...?
    Do you sense this reply Sounds?


    .
    "Mongo only pawn in game of life" - Mongo

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SKRma7PDW10

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