no no, just the caninish feline!! :=D
no no, just the caninish feline!! :=D
"But do you really, seriously, Major Scobie," Dr. Sykes asked, "believe in hell?"
"In flames and torment?""Oh, yes, I do."
"That sort of hell wouldn't worry me," Fellowes said."Perhaps not quite that. They tell us it may be a permanent sense of loss."
"Perhaps you've never lost anything of importance," Scobie said.
You character. Took me a moment or two, to work out the cat and dog thing. But I married it all up and came to the conclusion that you are an excellent poet. I often wonder why though, that you call this a thread a trashy thread. Your work never ceases to amaze me. This one being my favourite - well for a while, or until you create another amazing one.
Last edited by Maryd.; 12-22-2010 at 06:53 PM. Reason: Typo
In this case I hope that one man's trash is another man's treasure. You're a doll for saying that, Mary.
"But do you really, seriously, Major Scobie," Dr. Sykes asked, "believe in hell?"
"In flames and torment?""Oh, yes, I do."
"That sort of hell wouldn't worry me," Fellowes said."Perhaps not quite that. They tell us it may be a permanent sense of loss."
"Perhaps you've never lost anything of importance," Scobie said.
Haunted, this was done so well. You know the secret of less is more in that ending.
Fire, thanks so much, I enjoy reading your comments as always!
"But do you really, seriously, Major Scobie," Dr. Sykes asked, "believe in hell?"
"In flames and torment?""Oh, yes, I do."
"That sort of hell wouldn't worry me," Fellowes said."Perhaps not quite that. They tell us it may be a permanent sense of loss."
"Perhaps you've never lost anything of importance," Scobie said.
New Year's Eve at Times Square
the countdown has begun:
the first day of the year
would be her last
she is the centerpiece
a sultry nude frozen in
a sculptured block of irony
of all the millionnaires
and filthy rich heirs
at the high society A list party
her heart beats only
for the penniless porter
at the stroke of midnight
he would sweep her up
and they would walk down
the aspalt aisle of Broadway
attended by a million guests
after the ball dropped
so did a tear
and then another
and another
they were supposed to
live happily ever after
she weeps all night
she’s losing her head...
on new year’s day
the porter mechanically
reaches for a floor mop
and proceeds toward a pool
of melted ice
Last edited by Haunted; 01-01-2011 at 12:04 AM.
"But do you really, seriously, Major Scobie," Dr. Sykes asked, "believe in hell?"
"In flames and torment?""Oh, yes, I do."
"That sort of hell wouldn't worry me," Fellowes said."Perhaps not quite that. They tell us it may be a permanent sense of loss."
"Perhaps you've never lost anything of importance," Scobie said.
she is the centerpiece
a sultry nude frozen in
a sculptured block of irony
is especially fine, given that one half imagines the word "ivory" that would have been the ideal, romanticized preference here. And throughout this, there's a sort of hands-off approach that keeps the piece from becoming mawkish.
This is so, so subtle - almost a reversal of the Pygmalion myth.
Bravo madame
H
Prince I don't want them to think ivory. It's an ice sculpture and I want to show the fragility of life and the transience of love. I'm wondering now if I should change "sculptured block of irony" to "an icy block of irony". But "frozen" and "icy" seems redundant and I would be repeating ice again in the last line...hmm
Hill, I didn't see that at first, how interesting. Happy endings would be good sometime. I should try it. Thank you sir :=)
"But do you really, seriously, Major Scobie," Dr. Sykes asked, "believe in hell?"
"In flames and torment?""Oh, yes, I do."
"That sort of hell wouldn't worry me," Fellowes said."Perhaps not quite that. They tell us it may be a permanent sense of loss."
"Perhaps you've never lost anything of importance," Scobie said.
No, the fleeting thought of "ivory" only intensifies your use of "irony," which works here extremely well!Originally Posted by Haunted
Tough while so delicate, well mastered and penned. Thank you Haunted, Bar - a very happy New Year to you again!
Prince, I'm relieved, thanks!
Bar, it's always so nice to read your comments. Have a wonderful New Year yourself!!
"But do you really, seriously, Major Scobie," Dr. Sykes asked, "believe in hell?"
"In flames and torment?""Oh, yes, I do."
"That sort of hell wouldn't worry me," Fellowes said."Perhaps not quite that. They tell us it may be a permanent sense of loss."
"Perhaps you've never lost anything of importance," Scobie said.
Ha, yes the irony... All melted in tears of chill.
xo
thanks Mary, love the way you put it. xoxo
"But do you really, seriously, Major Scobie," Dr. Sykes asked, "believe in hell?"
"In flames and torment?""Oh, yes, I do."
"That sort of hell wouldn't worry me," Fellowes said."Perhaps not quite that. They tell us it may be a permanent sense of loss."
"Perhaps you've never lost anything of importance," Scobie said.
the anesthesiologist
I took all my clothes off
shoved them out of sight
in the painfully heavy bag
reached for the sad looking gown
with unfairly short ties
opening to the back
walking out I wonder
if my tush is showing
I have no insurance
no next of kin
he said it don’t matter
where I’m going
he promised there won’t be pain
and with an assuring hand
he pried my bag from me
I press my cold cheek on
the back of that hand
I feel a slight tickling from
the small golden hairs
I turn until my lips touch
the warm padded skin
then I take my time kissing it
Last edited by Haunted; 01-02-2011 at 02:57 PM.
"But do you really, seriously, Major Scobie," Dr. Sykes asked, "believe in hell?"
"In flames and torment?""Oh, yes, I do."
"That sort of hell wouldn't worry me," Fellowes said."Perhaps not quite that. They tell us it may be a permanent sense of loss."
"Perhaps you've never lost anything of importance," Scobie said.
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