You did it justice, ah, you did right by Jane...
You did it justice, ah, you did right by Jane...
"But do you really, seriously, Major Scobie," Dr. Sykes asked, "believe in hell?"
"In flames and torment?""Oh, yes, I do."
"That sort of hell wouldn't worry me," Fellowes said."Perhaps not quite that. They tell us it may be a permanent sense of loss."
"Perhaps you've never lost anything of importance," Scobie said.
I know I bang on about this like some chuntering old gitbut, this is such a good poem and I think it would get a bigger audience as a single thread.
Your poem completely inspired me.
For those who believe,
no explanation is necessary.
For those who do not,
none will suffice.
*never mind*
Last edited by Haunted; 11-21-2010 at 01:17 AM.
"But do you really, seriously, Major Scobie," Dr. Sykes asked, "believe in hell?"
"In flames and torment?""Oh, yes, I do."
"That sort of hell wouldn't worry me," Fellowes said."Perhaps not quite that. They tell us it may be a permanent sense of loss."
"Perhaps you've never lost anything of importance," Scobie said.
New thread haunted, It is too good not to
For those who believe,
no explanation is necessary.
For those who do not,
none will suffice.
all I ever want for Christmas
(if I can’t have you)
an advent candle night light
with infinite little fizzing bubbles
inside its delicate glass shell
to offer hours of obsessive gazing
magical nostalgic hypnotic
watch as they rise to heaven
how they cajole a myriad gold flakes
into a glittery dance extravaganza
effervescing enough to make me forget
the dark walls that are closing in
while I try to escape the question of
how will I ever be able to love again
"But do you really, seriously, Major Scobie," Dr. Sykes asked, "believe in hell?"
"In flames and torment?""Oh, yes, I do."
"That sort of hell wouldn't worry me," Fellowes said."Perhaps not quite that. They tell us it may be a permanent sense of loss."
"Perhaps you've never lost anything of importance," Scobie said.
Of course one is tempted by the last line to wonder if the subtext of the poem is not so much the birth of Christ but His resurrection.
Haunted, love to see you delving into the subject of the moment. You certainly have Christmans in your own perspective. The Christmas farce has arrived
The true "spirit" of Christmas...
Les Miserables,
Volume 1, Fifth Book, Chapter 3
Remember this, my friends: there are no such things as bad plants or bad men. There are only bad cultivators.
This is a tragic sigh of regret (an entire sentence in one poem) which is almost hypnotic in the way it drags the reader into the vortex of the narrator's obssession with what she longs for but cannot have - made more menacing by being dressed up in Christmas baubles and bangles.
I'm not sure you need to include the first parenthesised sentence - unless the poem is directed at the 'you' and no one else..... which I tend to think not.
You obviously had your sad shoes on when you wrote this.
H
Thanks all for your comments!
Prince, very very interesting, I love that subtext interpretation, it wasn't intended though.
Mary, Christmas is certainly on my mind, thanks for the uplifting comment!
Bien, I'm afraid that what you saw as the true "spirit" of Christmas is only superficial. It's also an irony. The Christmas ornament is really a distraction from the cruel reality of loss.
Hill, you amaze me every time with your bullseye interpretation. We must have the same wavelength, I actually used the word "vortex" in one of the earlier versions!!! And yes, you caught that too, I wrote this in one long sentence. Not sure why though, it just flowed out that way. I used "you" for two reasons. One is to reference the song All I Ever Want For Christmas Is You, so it doesn't look like I stole that line, it's intentionally not being original. Secondly I also want it to be personal and to speak directly to "you". As always thanks for your comment!!
Last edited by Haunted; 12-04-2010 at 12:52 PM.
"But do you really, seriously, Major Scobie," Dr. Sykes asked, "believe in hell?"
"In flames and torment?""Oh, yes, I do."
"That sort of hell wouldn't worry me," Fellowes said."Perhaps not quite that. They tell us it may be a permanent sense of loss."
"Perhaps you've never lost anything of importance," Scobie said.
hazardous driving
I can’t see
where I’m going
the windshield is
a sheet of ice
even after the ice
been cleared
I still don’t know
where to go
I don’t bother with
clearing the back window
because I stopped using
the rear view mirror
it's too hard to
look back
Last edited by Haunted; 12-10-2010 at 03:52 PM.
"But do you really, seriously, Major Scobie," Dr. Sykes asked, "believe in hell?"
"In flames and torment?""Oh, yes, I do."
"That sort of hell wouldn't worry me," Fellowes said."Perhaps not quite that. They tell us it may be a permanent sense of loss."
"Perhaps you've never lost anything of importance," Scobie said.
I like the hidden message in hazardous driving Haunted
Before sunlight can shine through a window, the blinds must be raised - American Proverb
thank you Delta!
"But do you really, seriously, Major Scobie," Dr. Sykes asked, "believe in hell?"
"In flames and torment?""Oh, yes, I do."
"That sort of hell wouldn't worry me," Fellowes said."Perhaps not quite that. They tell us it may be a permanent sense of loss."
"Perhaps you've never lost anything of importance," Scobie said.
I admire the way you sustained the metaphor of driving a car, and the economy of this in general.
Brief but effective - driving along the road to nowhere.....
H
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