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Thread: Cold Ale - The Blokes' Thread!

  1. #3961
    sound of music soundofmusic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by prendrelemick View Post
    Those the mid term ones are never quite as big as the presidential ones.
    Yes, the ladies have been trying to figure if the presidential erections are the biggest; particularly because he is of a different ethnicity. I think he may lose a few points for not speaking ebonics

    Quote Originally Posted by Paulclem View Post
    Yep - you don't want to jump into a mid term bed that you'll later regret come the Presidential ... one.
    I've noticed that lately, people no longer put those sticky "I voted for..." on their cars. NO one wants to be supporting a loser years later...I actually saw a sign on a classic auto that said, "Vote for Goldwater"

    Quote Originally Posted by Gilliatt Gurgle View Post
    “The more you read and observe about this Politics thing, you got to admit that each party is worse than the other. The one that's out always looks the best. “
    – Will Rogers Illiterate Digest (1924), "Breaking into the Writing Game"
    .
    I had a conversation with some friends last week; they feel that I should take a more active role in politics. I asked them who they supported, they first decided they would support the candidates running for senate, for governor. The decided that they would vote for the fellow running for govenor "he's a thief, so no one will be able to pull the wool over his eyes"...they were worried about the other candidate who seemed very genteel "Ah, she's a pushover"

    Quote Originally Posted by The Atheist View Post
    Yeah, you've got that sultry Loren look down pat.

    You'd go well with Pam Corkery!

    She is an ex-MP who has decided that girls need fun too and is opening a male-for-female brothel in Auckland. Their standards must be ok, because they haven't called me yet.

    Wow, really...my mom used to tell me I had "bedroom eyes"; I think it's something you're born with.
    I looked up that Pam woman on you tube; she's quite a character. The sort that would be fun to hang out with; then lose before she figures out your address.

    Quote Originally Posted by prendrelemick View Post
    Well thats 31 years of marriage (to the same woman) as of today. What happened to that young thrusting couple of yesteryear, who laughed so confidently at life's great adventure? who together rode the troughs and heights of fortune with naive relish.?

    Life! mate ,thats what happened.
    The last two years have been the most demanding, because the kids have all left home and so we have to start talking to each other again. Its difficult to pick up a conversation 30 years after being rudely interrupted by the arrival of offspring.
    Congrats, prendrelemick...31 years to the same woman; that is incredible nowadays. I think it really must be difficult to reorient a couples life after the children have moved out, all of the youthful stories have been told, you've rediscussed all of the old girlfriends and boyfriends, read all the kama sutra books and decided that you never could get into those positions....

    Quote Originally Posted by Gilliatt Gurgle View Post
    If I'm reading you right mate, then Happy Anniversary!
    My God, 31 years of wedded blitz!

    Here is a song in your honor:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vTj6-...eature=related

    Gilliatt
    Where do you find these things, Gilliatt; this one's priceless!

    Quote Originally Posted by The Atheist View Post
    Good effort mate!

    I got married in 1979 as well.

    I just happened to get divorced from her in 1981.

    I got my first divorce in '81 also; I considered the time with the first Mr Sounds as combat and undercover training

    Quote Originally Posted by The Atheist View Post
    I'm thinking of starting a "Perfect Dad" blog, mainly because I found the perfect opening for it:

    Standing in the kitchen, surrounded by shards of broken glass from a jar dropped on the tiles - preparing baby's breakfast - while being called from the bathroom where the sick kid has just had a bout of diarrhea in the shower.
    I think a dad's forum would be great! Men often have a very simple approach to everyday tasks that we ladies complicate.

    Quote Originally Posted by Paulclem View Post
    I think that's a great idea. Of course the ladies would have the perfect mum thread just like our cold ale/ coffe threads. They'd probably make comments about multi-tasking and organisational superiority, whilst we'd regale each other with tales of winging it that went well.

    I presume all turned out ok. The shower's quite a good place for a swill down. Better than all over the carpet/ rug/ tiger skin etc.
    I haven't quite got all of the perfect mom details worked out yet...I recently told a young father that I'm glad we've stopped using large metal pins to secure diapers

  2. #3962
    Orwellian The Atheist's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Paulclem View Post
    I think that's a great idea. Of course the ladies would have the perfect mum thread just like our cold ale/ coffe threads. They'd probably make comments about multi-tasking and organisational superiority, whilst we'd regale each other with tales of winging it that went well.

    I presume all turned out ok. The shower's quite a good place for a swill down. Better than all over the carpet/ rug/ tiger skin etc.
    Yeah, the shower was a lucky break in the end - he had to stay in it and by the time I got there, almost all the brown stuff had gone.

    Quote Originally Posted by Gilliatt Gurgle View Post
    As for the pampered one being fed out of glass jars, start using canned food.
    "Wolf Brand Chili" was just fine for our little tike.


    It was a jar of Vegemite, which he has on toast.

    The bad news was that as it was nearly full, it didn't break so much as disintegrate the outer half of the glass. There wasn't a piece bigger than a matchstick, but they were all exceedingly sharp, but as I still have ten toes, it worked out ok!

    Quote Originally Posted by soundofmusic View Post
    I looked up that Pam woman on you tube; she's quite a character. The sort that would be fun to hang out with; then lose before she figures out your address.
    Yeah, I don't mind old Pam - she always managed to upset people I don't like.

    Quote Originally Posted by soundofmusic View Post
    I think a dad's forum would be great! Men often have a very simple approach to everyday tasks that we ladies complicate.
    Another classic today:

    I am told at 7.10 am that the boy has a shared lunch at school today. That gives me 50 minutes to find some food in a house where we do shopping tomorrow, so there is precious little left.

    Cheese scones to the rescue!

    24 cooked, cooled, buttered and packed by 8 am.

    Piece of cake. (or scone - they were very popular, apparently!)
    Go to work, get married, have some kids, pay your taxes, pay your bills, watch your tv, follow fashion, act normal, obey the law and repeat after me: "I am free."

    Anon

  3. #3963
    sound of music soundofmusic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Atheist View Post
    Yeah, the shower was a lucky break in the end - he had to stay in it and by the time I got there, almost all the brown stuff had gone.

    It was a jar of Vegemite,

    but as I still have ten toes, it worked out ok!

    Yeah, I don't mind old Pam - she always managed to upset people I don't like.

    Another classic today:

    I am told at 7.10 am that the boy has a shared lunch at school today. That gives me 50 minutes to find some food in a house where we do shopping tomorrow, so there is precious little left.

    Cheese scones to the rescue!

    24 cooked, cooled, buttered and packed by 8 am.

    Piece of cake. (or scone - they were very popular, apparently!)
    Yum, cheese scones...I really must befriend Mrs Atheist, so that she won't mind you and I being tea and gossip buddies...
    We could even watch Pam together, she was doing an interview about her alcoholism on youtube... (I don't know why anyone thought that was news)
    I must check into this Vegemite stuff; supposedly, that hot Aussie actor who is very skinny, has a big nose and is very sexy thinks it is the food of the gods...
    Glad you have all your toes still; I once dated a fellow with 8 toes and he was as mad as a hatter...I wonder if we are like cockroaches and our brain is spread out....I think the doctors took out part of my brain when they desensitized my gspot during surgery

  4. #3964
    Orwellian The Atheist's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by soundofmusic View Post
    Yum, cheese scones...I really must befriend Mrs Atheist, so that she won't mind you and I being tea and gossip buddies...
    We could even watch Pam together, she was doing an interview about her alcoholism on youtube... (I don't know why anyone thought that was news)
    I must check into this Vegemite stuff; supposedly, that hot Aussie actor who is very skinny, has a big nose and is very sexy thinks it is the food of the gods...
    Glad you have all your toes still; I once dated a fellow with 8 toes and he was as mad as a hatter...I wonder if we are like cockroaches and our brain is spread out....I think the doctors took out part of my brain when they desensitized my gspot during surgery
    You are the reason why my daughter is banned from this thread.

    But...



    I like your style!

    Actually, I find Vegemite tastes somewhat like I'd expect toasted cow dung to taste like.

    As to you and Mrs Atheist, she'd have you down at Pam's new... bordello?... gigolodello?... place to check out the talent!
    Go to work, get married, have some kids, pay your taxes, pay your bills, watch your tv, follow fashion, act normal, obey the law and repeat after me: "I am free."

    Anon

  5. #3965
    sound of music soundofmusic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Atheist View Post
    You are the reason why my daughter is banned from this thread.

    But...



    I like your style!

    Actually, I find Vegemite tastes somewhat like I'd expect toasted cow dung to taste like.

    As to you and Mrs Atheist, she'd have you down at Pam's new... bordello?... gigolodello?... place to check out the talent!
    I love to talk to Baje; but I really don't think the Blokes thread is quite the place for her...actually, even the coffee thread can get alittle wild at times...unfortunately, all of the juniors are quickly coming of age...moms are pushing them into gender preference, marriage and apartments....
    NOtice, I didn't say dads...is it my imagination; or are men much more comfortable with keeping their kids at home?

    Thank you, I like your style also; is Mrs Atheist coming to the bordello as my guest, or pushing me in and running

  6. #3966
    Clinging to Douvres rocks Gilliatt Gurgle's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by soundofmusic View Post
    ...Where do you find these things, Gilliatt; this one's priceless!
    I am merely a product of my child rearing.
    My parents were quite unusual.
    Spike Jones vinyl was spun quite often and loud.
    Something else, us children, were forced to listen to:

    Arthur Lyman:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BxatqR6J-5M

    or Martin Denny:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BQogl...eature=related


    Does this begin to answer a few questions?



    Gilliatt
    "Mongo only pawn in game of life" - Mongo

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SKRma7PDW10

  7. #3967
    sound of music soundofmusic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gilliatt Gurgle View Post
    I am merely a product of my child rearing.
    My parents were quite unusual.
    Spike Jones vinyl was spun quite often and loud.
    Something else, us children, were forced to listen to:

    Arthur Lyman:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BxatqR6J-5M

    or Martin Denny:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BQogl...eature=related


    Does this begin to answer a few questions?



    Gilliatt
    I'm feeling that music...let's meet somewhere between Texas and Florida...how about New Orleans, have some gumbo and dance the night away...Mrs Gurgle can come too if she lets me have most of the dances.

  8. #3968
    Orwellian The Atheist's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by soundofmusic View Post
    I love to talk to Baje; but I really don't think the Blokes thread is quite the place for her...actually, even the coffee thread can get alittle wild at times...unfortunately, all of the juniors are quickly coming of age...moms are pushing them into gender preference, marriage and apartments....
    NOtice, I didn't say dads...is it my imagination; or are men much more comfortable with keeping their kids at home?
    Maybe it is dads? Baje certainly gets no pushing - I'm all for kids being kids.

    Quote Originally Posted by soundofmusic View Post
    Thank you, I like your style also; is Mrs Atheist coming to the bordello as my guest, or pushing me in and running
    Oh yeah, she'd be staying alright. Complete with opera glasses would be my bet.

    Quote Originally Posted by Gilliatt Gurgle View Post
    I am merely a product of my child rearing.
    My parents were quite unusual.
    That's usually a bonus, and seems to have worked out ok!
    Go to work, get married, have some kids, pay your taxes, pay your bills, watch your tv, follow fashion, act normal, obey the law and repeat after me: "I am free."

    Anon

  9. #3969
    sound of music soundofmusic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Atheist View Post
    Maybe it is dads? Baje certainly gets no pushing - I'm all for kids being kids.

    Oh yeah, she'd be staying alright. Complete with opera glasses would be my bet.
    If Baje gets an extra bunk; I'm moving in...well, unless her room is pink or you feed me vegimite....

    I'll lend Mrs A my opera glasses; I want one of those fellows you can see from the balcony

  10. #3970
    Orwellian The Atheist's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by soundofmusic View Post
    If Baje gets an extra bunk; I'm moving in...well, unless her room is pink or you feed me vegimite....
    No need for a bunk - she has a queen size bed. You can have that and she'll sleep on the floor.

    Quote Originally Posted by soundofmusic View Post
    I'll lend Mrs A my opera glasses; I want one of those fellows you can see from the balcony
    Go to work, get married, have some kids, pay your taxes, pay your bills, watch your tv, follow fashion, act normal, obey the law and repeat after me: "I am free."

    Anon

  11. #3971
    Registered User prendrelemick's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by soundofmusic View Post

    Congrats, prendrelemick...31 years to the same woman; that is incredible nowadays. I think it really must be difficult to reorient a couples life after the children have moved out, all of the youthful stories have been told, you've rediscussed all of the old girlfriends and boyfriends, read all the kama sutra books and decided that you never could get into those positions....

    :
    What's needed is a Kama sutra for the more mature lumbago sufferer with dodgy hips. Showing the pathway of practicality rather than elaboration. The Kama Saga sutra.

  12. #3972
    TobeFrank Paulclem's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by prendrelemick View Post
    What's needed is a Kama sutra for the more mature lumbago sufferer with dodgy hips. Showing the pathway of practicality rather than elaboration. The Kama Saga sutra.


    there are some great title possibilites.

    The greying orgasm.

    How to fiddle a wrinkle.

    Ease yourself into bliss.

    Too much?

  13. #3973
    Clinging to Douvres rocks Gilliatt Gurgle's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by soundofmusic View Post
    I'm feeling that music...let's meet somewhere between Texas and Florida...how about New Orleans, have some gumbo and dance the night away...Mrs Gurgle can come too if she lets me have most of the dances.
    "Sounds" like a plan. I'm thinking a tango and instead of a rose, I'll have a bag of voodoo mojo clenched in my teeth"

    Quote Originally Posted by The Atheist View Post
    That's usually a bonus, and seems to have worked out ok!
    I appreciate the the thought. We'll see how it plays out with my son.
    So far we have him hooked on The Original Star Trek series, MASH, King of the Hill, Andy Griffith, old 50's, 60's horror flicks, played a major role in the burning of the "Mozartgeist" last year and plays violin.

    Quote Originally Posted by Paulclem View Post


    there are some great title possibilites.
    .......
    Too much?
    YES; the images you are conjuring up are quite disturbing.



    .
    "Mongo only pawn in game of life" - Mongo

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SKRma7PDW10

  14. #3974
    Orwellian The Atheist's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by prendrelemick View Post
    What's needed is a Kama sutra for the more mature lumbago sufferer with dodgy hips. Showing the pathway of practicality rather than elaboration. The Kama Saga sutra.
    Great idea!

    Quote Originally Posted by Paulclem View Post


    there are some great title possibilites.

    The greying orgasm.

    How to fiddle a wrinkle.

    Ease yourself into bliss.

    Too much?
    That's the one.

    I rather suspect our biggest problem will be the G rating!



    Quote Originally Posted by Gilliatt Gurgle View Post
    I appreciate the the thought. We'll see how it plays out with my son.
    So far we have him hooked on The Original Star Trek series, MASH, King of the Hill, Andy Griffith, old 50's, 60's horror flicks, played a major role in the burning of the "Mozartgeist" last year and plays violin.
    Swap KOTH for Family Guy, and our kids will get along fine!
    Go to work, get married, have some kids, pay your taxes, pay your bills, watch your tv, follow fashion, act normal, obey the law and repeat after me: "I am free."

    Anon

  15. #3975
    Orwellian The Atheist's Avatar
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    Aaah.

    An hour's peace at last - two kids at school, wife at work, baby asleep....

    The saddest part is, the best idea I can come up with is to catch up on some sleep!

    Go to work, get married, have some kids, pay your taxes, pay your bills, watch your tv, follow fashion, act normal, obey the law and repeat after me: "I am free."

    Anon

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